1. 0

    Well Received Newbie

    Receive 20 Likes on your first 20 Messages. Thanks for contributing!
  2. 0

    Captain fucking Obvious

    Have a pristine track record of stating the obvious.
  3. 3

    Crypto-CWC Quarters

    Donate in Bitcoin.
  4. 5

    +5 Strength +5 Stam Leather Belt

    Participate in a forum game, such as Bgheff's Dungeons & Dragons.
  5. 5

    Voice of Spergatory

    Do a reading of a forum post.
  6. 5

    Extremely Helpful Gamer

    Complete a feat of strength in service of Deagle Nation.
  7. 5

    Remember the 1,000,000 goy!

    Join the forums before September 28th, 2015, when we received our 1,000,000th post.
  8. 5

    Rest for the Wicked

    Correctly guessed that Nick Bate would be eligible for parole during the #SickNickSentence.
  9. 10

    Mm, yeah

    Receive 50 Likes on your posts or messages.
  10. 10


    The opposition of all lonesome young men on their Love-Quests.
  11. 10

    Master of the Welcome Wagon

    Hold an unwavering devotion to making new members feel welcomed.
  12. 10

    (Charity) A-U-T-I-S-M

    2014 Charity: Autism Research Institute "A-U-T-I-S-M: what does it mean? Silence and friends unseen! A few brains as well: that is autism! And that makes us seem special to you!"
  13. 10

    (Charity) Semper Fidelis to All Are Armed Forces

    2014 Charity: Injured Marine Semper Fi Fund
  14. 10

    Feature Finder

    Be a part of the Feature Finder team, a group of hand-selected users that are trusted with highlighting good content.
  15. 10

    I Want To Get Off Mr. Jan's Wild Ride

    Survive Deagle Nation.
    (Register before the February 22nd "Jace is a hoax." thread.)
  16. 10


    Start the fire that destroys DSPGaming.
  17. 10

    Artistic Talent

    Win an official fan art contest
  18. 10

    Santa's Little Helper

    Assisted in bringing Christmas Joy to hundreds of Autists
  19. 15

    Your thoughts have been inputed

    Receive 100 Likes on your posts or messages.
  20. 15


    "There's a guy over here who may be a wacko. ... He's one gigantic motherfucker."
  21. 15

    Hitler's Paintbrush

    Make a serious artistic contribution to the site.
  22. 15


    Join the forums before March 1st, 2013 -- the first month that the Lolcow board existed.
  23. 15

    CWCki Sperg!

    Join the forums before March 1st, 2014 -- the creation of the Parkourdude91 board.
  24. 20


    "Aroo, maybe so." - President Richard Nixon during the 3000 presidential election
  25. 20

    Fire Relief Fund Contributor

    Donated to the January 2014 fund to send Chris a "big box of stuff".
  26. 20

    Before it was cool

    Edit the Lolcow Wiki before open registration was implemented.
  27. 20

    Article of the Week Editor

    Contribute to a Lolcow Wiki article of the week.
  28. 25

    Well Spoken

    Have over 100 posts with at least a 1:1 ratio of Likes.
  29. 25

    Inspiration that hard to come by

    Receive 250 Likes on your posts or messages.
  30. 25

    Online socialization is a bust!

    Meet another member of the forums offline.
  31. 25

    The Line, Held

  32. 25

    Court Reporter

    Represent the KNN as an on-the-field reporter of an actual civil or criminal courtroom event.
  33. 40

    Talent Finder

    Create a Lolcow thread that receives over 100,000 views.
    This trophy is manually given.
  34. 50

    Real American

    The holder of this trophy has proven to little Hulksters all over the world that they train, say their prayers, eat their vitamins, and embody the true spirit of Hulkamania.
  35. 50

    Loyal Sonichu Fan

    An esteemed trophy for the world's most dedicated Sonichu fans.
  36. 50

    Thought Provoking

    Have 500 or more posts with at least a 1:1 ratio of Likes.
  37. 50

    Y'all should know me by now

    See Christian Weston Chandler in person.
  38. 50

    Tumblr's Satan

    Internet famous for the systematic oppression of the straight white girls who use Tumblr.
  39. 50

    Ghost Division

    Complete a feat of strength.
  40. 50


  41. 50

    How It's Done

    Special trophy for Trickie for her work on Rosechu's Story.
  42. 75


    Have over 1000 posts with at least a 1:1 ratio of Likes.
  43. 100

    Christorical Figure

    Have played a role in the story of Christian Weston Chandler.
  44. 100

    Kind Regards

    Commit acts of domestic terrorism in your fruitless efforts to remove this Internet forum.
  45. 100

    Yes! My lovequest is finally over!

    Marry a forum user.
    You fucking lunatic.
  46. 100

    Sam Hyde Sighting

    Provide a valuable contribution to the war on autism by doxing a mass shooter or archiving related content no one has seen before.

About Us

The Kiwi Farms is about eccentric individuals and communities on the Internet. We call them lolcows because they can be milked for amusement or laughs. Our community is bizarrely diverse and spectators are encouraged to join the discussion.

We do not place intrusive ads, host malware, sell data, or run crypto miners with your browser. If you experience these things, you have a virus. If your malware system says otherwise, it is faulty.

Supporting the Forum

How to Help

The Kiwi Farms is constantly attacked by insane people and very expensive to run. It would not be here without community support.

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