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  • ATTENTION: The National Security Administration has made a press release regarding a Windows 10 remote execution exploit that any website can take advantage of. It is one of the worst exploits that has ever been found. Update Windows immediately.

    NSA Press Release, "Am I vulnerable?"

  1. Xarpho

    Kiwi Farms History

    Inspired by Null's lament about the "old guard" and how the Kiwi Farms has changed over the last five years, I've hammered out a brief history of Kiwi Farms, which I hope to make a comprehensive history about all the drama and everything happened since. It's not externally hosted yet (except for...
  2. Xarpho

    Factorio Thread

    I've put about 80-100 hours into Factorio beating the main campaign (admittedly cheating a bit, I used mods to speed up yellow science and construct moats to keep the biters at bay), but I hesitate on starting back up as the early game is pretty cumbersome (pickax mining, manually moving things...
  3. Xarpho


    I've been on a Slurpee/ICEE binge recently, with me trying every flavor I can come across. Most of the machines just have Coke and cherry, with Dr Pepper, but some machines have more flavors. 7-Eleven has the Slurpee brand which usually has more varieties. About a year ago they had a Cap'n...
  4. Xarpho

    What web browser do you use?

    I've been a Firefox user for a number of years (used to be Safari as a Mac user, then IE for Mac before that), and now I'm switching to Silverfox since I'm not a fan of Firefox discontinuing legacy support (been a hangers-on until I accidentally upgraded this morning). But one thing that...
  5. Xarpho

    Let's Sperg Tell Xarpho What Game To Play

    Inspired by Pete vs. His Steam Library, I've decided to do the same for my library and other games I need to play. Basically, these are the games I haven't beaten (or never beaten properly). I tried to write down names on pieces of paper and put them into a Ziploc bag but I kept drawing the same...
  6. Xarpho

    Kiwi Farms is the best

    I came mostly for asking a few questions on CWC but now I find that KF is probably the most interesting of the sites I visit. It's not just the fact that it always updates and serves as a guide to the rest of the Internet that you wouldn't want to be caught dead in alone, it also brings most...
  7. Xarpho

    Careercow Jay Rule

    Let me introduce you to Jay Rule. Jay Rule is a mild YouTube celebrity with 10k subscribers and he does it all. He'll review fast food, has "spectaculoo product reviews" (I can't figure out the affected accent), and video games, and comic books. He's uploaded close to 3,000 videos since joining...
  8. Xarpho

    Where do you FIND these people?

    KF definitely has a collection of oddballs for amusement/horror purposes that are exhibited in the Lolcow thread, but what I want to know is, where do they come from? Obviously, Tumblr and loveshy forums are easy pickings, as well as "Rat King" connections, and any drifter who will happily admit...
  9. Xarpho

    Feedback Stop wordfiltering "I HAVE AUTISM"

    I know people use it a lot, but is the full name of this this Coktel Vision game gonna be called "I HAVE AUTISM PLEASE LAUGH AT ME: The Prophecy"?
  10. Xarpho

    Off-Topic Why hasn't Phil moved south yet? (poll)

    A poll regarding the reason Phil hasn't moved south yet (from Florida to even SoCal). There's multiple choices, so here are the descriptors: Too Hot, Would Burn Up in Leather Crap - Self-explanatory. Fear of Encountering Real Latinos - Deep down, Phil probably knows he's as white as Trump, and...
  11. Xarpho

    Off-Topic What would you ask Phil?

    We all know Phil/Isabel/Ahuviya reads KF (hi there!), but what would you say to Phil if you met him in real life (on the bus, on the streets, whatever) or (more optimistically) he responds through Facebook? 1) What got you into the idea of bicycling? It's obviously something you want to do, but...
  12. Xarpho

    The Kiwi-Lytton Fiction Thread

    OK, everyone's heard of the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, right? Basically, it's where you make bad (but humorous) prose. One of my personal favorites has always been this one. or this one: So I'll start with a few of mine. Noir! Sci-Fi! Romance?‽ So, what have you got? EDIT to...
  13. Xarpho

    Any city simulation spergs around here?

    As in, SimCity 4 or Cities Skylines, not derivatives (Tropico, Civilization). They're one of my favorites, and I would really love to explain more about my love for them, but I've written a great deal about them elsewhere and I don't want to powerlevel (hence, the unique username), in fact, we...
  14. Xarpho

    Feedback An "Asylum" Board

    One of the rules here is that KF is not an asylum or your personal blog. But it's also taken on a bit of a zoo/freak show environment, where one can peruse the lolcow board, and gawk at the Internet denizens some have found, along with witnessing any chimpouts. As Null said, "you are being...
  15. Xarpho

    2014: The Year of the CWC

    I haven't been paying attention to the antics of CWC over the years, but I have come at the right time. With the exception of the events of 28 October 2011, the time when Chris would once be making vlogs, smashing his PS3, running around in clown shirts, and getting trolled was considered over...
  16. Xarpho 2014

    Man, I'm psyched that started releasing new videos after 5 years, including a new Halloween 'toon, "I Killed Pom Pom". Halloween 2014 HR*Wiki I loved this for years, but after 5 years of absence, it feels still left behind in many aspects. At least they didn't reuse any old...
  17. Xarpho

    Where do you see Chris in a year?

    I'm betting that in a year, Chris will still be around, but in a trailer park and using Wi-fi in public places. More likely, he'll get conned into one of those seedy "We erase bad credit" places that set up in low-rent strip malls. What do you think?
  18. Xarpho

    What's the situation on State Farm?

    The fire happened about half a year ago and Charb is turning their rental into the new Horde den. Do any insiders know anything on when Barb will lose against State Farm/get to a final settlement/be evicted? I mean, I don't want to Chris to end up on the streets :anna: but I am curious as to...
  19. Xarpho

    Is Chris a real danger to society?

    I originally decided to ask this as "Chris being capable of a felony" but he is capable of committing a felony, but he's also capable of moving out of the house and looking for a job, neither of which will happen anytime soon. It's pretty clear that Chris is guilty of loitering at fast food...
  20. Xarpho

    What do the colored member names even mean?

    I've noticed that some members have different colors for their username...normal members have blue, banned users have pink strike-through, the "Jerkops" are green (admins?), the "Manajerks" are purple (mods?), and some even have yellow (Marvin, ABL, and ParkourDude are the only ones I know of...

About Us

The Kiwi Farms is about eccentric individuals and communities on the Internet. We call them lolcows because they can be milked for amusement or laughs. Our community is bizarrely diverse and spectators are encouraged to join the discussion.

We do not place intrusive ads, host malware, sell data, or run crypto miners with your browser. If you experience these things, you have a virus. If your malware system says otherwise, it is faulty.

Supporting the Forum

How to Help

The Kiwi Farms is constantly attacked by insane people and very expensive to run. It would not be here without community support.

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