2020 RESOLUTIONS | WEIGHT, MONEY, COLLEGE, ETC 1/2/2020 - StoryTimeLynn starts 2020 off with one helluva tall tale

  • Order for the new server will be going in ASAP. Performance will be rocky until then (rip).

Who will lose more weight than Amber in 2020?

  • Beetus Drake

    Votes: 13 3.8%
  • Charlie Gold

    Votes: 41 12.0%
  • Amy Slaton

    Votes: 96 28.1%
  • Tammy Slaton

    Votes: 64 18.7%
  • Muslim Amy

    Votes: 5 1.5%
  • LifebyJen

    Votes: 8 2.3%
  • Chantal

    Votes: 3 0.9%
  • lol none of these fat fucks is going to lose weight in 2020

    Votes: 212 62.0%

  • Total voters
    342

Wyzzerd

Each post now contains 37% more magic!
kiwifarms.net
And remember she “doesn’t need” two seats at the cinema, but wants two “just in case”!
Of course she doesn't need two seats, she has clearly expanded her way to three whole seats!

As for the college spergery I bet that even if amber concocted some bizarre way to get into a college and somehow go to class she wouldn't finish it. Just like her previous video challenges she would get 90% of it done and quit. She can't finish anything, even if it meant having something to gloat over and shove into our faces for the rest of her short life. She just cannot succeed at the most basic of goals.

All amber needs to do is hop on a scale, weep about her 650+ elbees, buy a scootypuff, dump the butler, get a new gorlslave, and die on my prediction next year.
 

tiggles

kiwifarms.net
Yes I'm quoting myself, but the subject of Hamber's taxes becomes relevant once every blue moon (haha get it cause she's a fatass wearing a blue dress).

I have tweaked the numbers and links for 2020.
Sorry for sperging but people being misinformed on taxes sucks, especially if they are tax payers. tax bracket is not the same as effective tax rate and the difference is significant. Also, Amber is eligible for special deductions due to being self-employed that partially offset the self-employment tax for reasons not worth gong into. I did the quickest, shittiest job possible with the worst/laziest deductions and it looks like her total taxes could be around 27.5% - 19.6k federal, (incl. self employment tax after deductions) and 3.8k state - assuming 85k income. It’s a significantly different number than the previously estimated 43.5%. If she properly filed for business expenses (if torrid hauls even count? Lol), her taxes would be even lower. By the way if you do the math and find out 19.6K ~ 23% of 85K, I assure you it is a coincidence in the math.

If you guys want to fuck around with it you can look at freetaxusa.com and invent all the info, it doesn’t check til you file. Keep in mind amber won’t file a w-2, she will file self-employment docs as appropriate. I *think* it’s a 1040 and a 1099. I mostly just wanted to address the difference between tax bracket and tax rate. Her federal tax bracket may be 24%, but that is only taxed on the amount she makes above that threshold. Her effective federal tax rate will be between ~13-17% if that’s actually her tax bracket, then you add the 15% self-employment tax on top of that, bearing in mind she has special deductions that decrease her total taxable income.


She won’t pay them though, so this was just a foray into maximum autistic posting.
 
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tiggles

kiwifarms.net
@tiggles she claims youtube deducts her taxes, what do you think about that
I suspect she means withholding - if so, they took part of what she owes out of each check and sent it to the govt for her, so she just has to pay the difference if it’s not exactly right. She could even be - hilariously - be owed a refund if they overestimated it. I had no idea they did withholding. She might not be as totally fucked from her history of not doing taxes as I thought.

ETA: Adsense says they “rarely” withhold taxes so I am confused. Can our undercover YouTube stars offer any input? Show us your pay stubs ;)

My first guess is that shes lyeen to look like less of a jackass. My second is she’s just exceptional. Third guess is I’m exceptional.
 
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a bootiful jung woman

Checkmate, I WHISPER
kiwifarms.net

SituationTypeThing

kiwifarms.net
I suspect she means withholding - if so, they took part of what she owes out of each check and sent it to the govt for her, so she just has to pay the difference if it’s not exactly right. She could even be - hilariously - be owed a refund if they overestimated it. I had no idea they did withholding. She might not be as totally fucked from her history of not doing taxes as I thought.

ETA: Adsense says they “rarely” withhold taxes so I am confused. Can our undercover YouTube stars offer any input? Show us your pay stubs ;)

My first guess is that shes lyeen to look like less of a jackass. My second is she’s just exceptional. Third guess is I’m exceptional.
Could those rare instances be garnishments?
 

krazy orange cat

Fluffy ball of evil
kiwifarms.net
ETA: Adsense says they “rarely” withhold taxes so I am confused. Can our undercover YouTube stars offer any input? Show us your pay stubs ;)
There are situations where you can be required to make estimated tax payments, so that could be what is going on, though I don't know that those would be "deducted" from her AdSense directly.

Exciting tax information yay!
 

Billie Ross

Duh
kiwifarms.net
@tiggles she claims youtube deducts her taxes, what do you think about that
True, I understood the same, I think her lizard brain is talking about youtube/google fees, as far as I know youtube takes a chunk of around 40% of ad sense earnings, is always deducted before the youtuber receive his check and has nothing to do with taxes.
That was something that always intrigued me, does social blade estimate earnings with or without youtube/Google fees?
Also she probably can see the fees deducted every month and year total, what will easily amount to the $39k she said she paid last year in taxes....
Does she believe "Youtube" is saving her tax money and paying it for her??? LOL
 
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FitBitch

kiwifarms.net
Amber is not ready for therapy and will not be ready for therapy in 2020. You have to be willing to work on yourself and a therapist is just a guide to your goals. Amber wants a therapist that will "fix" her while validating that she's doing her best and the last thing she needs is to pay another enabler to be in her life.
 

Assman

kiwifarms.net
Amber is not ready for therapy and will not be ready for therapy in 2020. You have to be willing to work on yourself and a therapist is just a guide to your goals. Amber wants a therapist that will "fix" her while validating that she's doing her best and the last thing she needs is to pay another enabler to be in her life.
The last things she needs are the first ones she'll pay for though. This gorl will gladly spend shekels to keep her brain dead orbiters indebted to her and tending to her every physical need. Finding a therapist that will justify her mental delusions and buy into her bullshit is just another necessary expense for her. If she had any cognitive function she'd probably try and write them off as business expenses.
 

Moonpie

Ride the Lightening
kiwifarms.net
She needs to face it.
She's never followed through with anything. She's absolutely too fucking lazy.
All the talk about school. Get real you damn blob. You know you're full of shit.
Never lose weight. She'll keep gaining and gaining among her fag enablers and Benzo Beggy the catatonic idiot.
Same old thing.
 

darkwingosonichugorl

kiwifarms.net
Amber is not ready for therapy and will not be ready for therapy in 2020. You have to be willing to work on yourself and a therapist is just a guide to your goals. Amber wants a therapist that will "fix" her while validating that she's doing her best and the last thing she needs is to pay another enabler to be in her life.
And not only is Amber not willing to work on herself, she doesn't see the need to work on herself and is financially better NOT working on herself. Her life will not end well.
 

DefCon Dumb

Confronter of Cryptoid Cuntiness
kiwifarms.net
I suspect she thinks she can keep on keepeen' on; doing exactly what she's doing now; assuming Becky is still checked in enough to do all that tiresome fetching, carrying & icky chores for her. Yammer away at the 'loyal fans' when she must & otherwise put in the bare minimum of effort. She plans on continuing this Lady of Leisure lifestyle until one day, she simply doesn't wake up.

Don't we all wish we'll answer the call of the Grim Reaper that way; simply slipping away effortlessly & painlessly in our sleep? The odds of that for her are slim. She's more likely to lurch towards a miserable, pain filled end, totally dependent on others for every basic need. Imagine a completely debilitating stroke which leaves her mentally aware but physically incapable of doing anything for herself. She'd be trapped in bed, in her own body - eating only when fed, (doubt anything but the blandest nursing home food would cross her lips), bedsores, increasing pain. There are a range of possibilities in between - none of which are pleasant.
 

SituationTypeThing

kiwifarms.net
And not only is Amber not willing to work on herself, she doesn't see the need to work on herself and is financially better NOT working on herself. Her life will not end well.
Of course her life won't end will. It didn't start well, and it's didn't young adult well, and it's not going to middle age well. Of COURSE it won't end well. Because if there's one thing in common through all the eras of Ambers life, it's the fact that she is definitely not well on any scale/chart/diagnostic tool you could use.
 

Gorlax

kiwifarms.net
*won’t end well in the average person’s eyes.
Let’s not forget Amber has had a literal fucking UTI for weeks and gives more of a shit about convincing her haydurs of nonexistent phone calls than she does of getting it taken care of. A UTI. Something most people would be desperate to get cleared up right away. Whatever happens leading up to her death won’t be taken seriously by her, she’ll just squeeze out a few tears about muh kidneys, muh lymphedema, muh diabeeteeeez on camera and proceed to eat shit and sleep til she never wakes up again.

The only thing I think would affect AL is if she had to get one of her dainty trotters or piggy toes amputated. That would be SO not cute.
 
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