Alien Abductees and Conspiracy Theorists - Ayy lmao probings, DUMBS, Men in Black, Reptilians, Mantis Cucks, Ancient Aliens, and more!

Techpriest

Praise the Machine Spirits
kiwifarms.net
With my last two threads, I profiled a couple of people in the New Age/Alien Conspiracy Theorist communities, both of whom are especially prominent pieces of shit who scam gullible boomers and rake in the profits from their antics. I mentioned the greater sort of ecosystem these sort of people move around in, and what they get up to. Well, the answer is “quite a bit,” and also there’s a wide array of weirdos who hock everything from being abducted for a breeding program, induction in to a secret space program, secret alien research bases, UFO hunting, the convergence of UFOs and Bigfoot, redneck drinking stories, bizarre encounters, channeling, and far, far, far more. I’ve selected a couple to start with, who I feel meet the baseline of crazy, weird, and strange, but probably don’t deserve an individual thread (yet) due to lack of online antics, being deceased, or just not enough information currently available on them. There’s plenty of others who can be found online, on facebook or various forums.


David Huggins

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David Huggins is an artist and former deli employee in Hoboken New Jersey. Oh, and he also lost his virginity to an alien.


David Huggins is honestly one of the most entertaining weirdos I’ve ever stumbled across, and his story is fantastically illustrated by David himself, involving mantis alien cucks, touching babies, ejaculating into bowls, alien abduction, a torrid lifelong love affair with an alien human hybrid, and much much more. He’s translated his experiences into a bunch of artistic paintings from the third person perspective, and honestly they’re not bad.

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David and his waifu.


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David and a Mantis Cuck, arguing about the giant glowing cum bubble the cuck has left in the corner

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David's first time with his love interest, Crescent. It looks like he's being raped by a female Michael Myers.

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His waifu and the mantis cuck prepare for a fun night, with the mantis already preparing to go off into the corner.

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Seriously what the fuck is this supposed to be, I don't fucking understand this shit

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A pair of mantis cucks look on as David's harem bring in the kids to meet daddy before the gang bang

Like many who claim to be an alien abductee, David claims to have forgotten the experience for a while, before suddenly having a recollection of events. Luckily for David, he seems to feel his experiences were mostly positive, and from his own account I can see why. Having lots of sex with “hot” alien chicks probably has a lot to do with his fond recollection of the aliens. He also has a documentary about him available for free on YouTube (with ads) that I highly recommend checking out.

David also does appearances at conventions, which isn’t super unusual for these people, and is how plenty of them make extra money. Currently, I’m not too sure what David is up to, since he doesn’t and hasn’t really made a splash since his documentary was released. My guess is he’s still painting, fucking aliens, and enjoying his retirement. Godspeed you crazy bastard.


John Edmonds

https://www.12news.com/article/news...fter-aliens-tried-to-abduct-my-wife/485655501


His story is fucking wild and I absolutely love it. So first off, John Edmonds claims he was in the CIA. The ranch house he and his wife bought to retire at and also run a horse rescue had supernatural shit happen from the start, as some guy came up to them and said “hey you’re the new boss right? I was hired by the old guy to fight the monsters”, and a bunch of furniture ended up in the swimming pool. John claims to have witnessed his wife nearly getting abducted (which he stopped by shooting at the UFO with an AK), to be harassed by various grey aliens all over the ranch (which also attacked the animals) and to have personally killed 19 greys with a fucking SAMURAI SWORD.

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Yeah, this guy claims to have killed 19 greys with a samurai sword. He also ended up on an episode of Ghost Adventures with Zac and the gang, as Stardust Ranch not only has an alien problem but a ghost problem as well.


He’s been doing various podcasts and interviews through youtube, but also wrote a book on the subject. Which is just hilarious. The ranch was sold in 2019 for 6.5 million dollars, which is quite crazy. This dude is a natural lolcow and might need his own thread later on, depending on his activities. He’s got a facebook page as well, locked to those who don’t have an active account, which is sort of a bummer.

I’m sure there’s plenty of other strange alien abductees kiwis have seen out there. This community is large, active, and full of interesting and strange people.
 
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BlancoMailo

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
You click on Ancient Aliens once 5 years ago without reading the title, thinking it was going to be a documentary on ancient Egypt, next thing you know, your recommended feed is filled with guys talking about E.T.'s midnight anal probing, extraterrestrial hillbilly hybrids, and why Hitler was really a holographic lizard from the inside of the Hollow Earth, for months afterward.
 

Big Rusiki

1-800 I'm on that ass
kiwifarms.net
Lamao so David Huggins is the father of modern day Greys after hot intercouse with Alien butterfaces?

Joe claims to have witnessed his wife nearly getting abducted (which he stopped by shooting at the UFO with an AK), to be harassed by various grey aliens all over the ranch (which also attacked the animals) and to have personally killed 19 greys with a fucking SAMURAI SWORD.
Only for his offsprings to be cut down by John Edmonds with a samurai sword? :stress:

Was this Mantis Cucks revenge after years of being cucked by David? How are the CIA involved? Did they do business with Mantis Cuck? Who was the old boss before John? Why does my socks keep disappearing in the dryer? This smells like...A goddam conspiracy theory!!

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I Fucking love white people :story:
 

Ero

"My dad is POOR he sold his house to buy a car"
kiwifarms.net
Great thread, anything related to New Age/Cults/Conspiracy schizos fascinate me tbh.

You should check out Billy Meier/FIGU. He's not really worth adding to the thread since he's very old now and he hasn't really done anything news worthy for years now but back in his hay day he would of been a pure lolcow material.
He faked all those UFO videos and photos yet he still denies it despite all the people close to him spilling the beans. Also there were people in the 90s and early 00s debunking his videos/photos by actually showing the techniques that Billy might have used, this made him furious.
He created a cult that (iirc) it required you to pay monthly just to be a member and ofc it was a pure scam.
Even today there are people that believe in him and follow his teachings https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9P3z1n0FbI
I can't remember much but his teachings revolved around some "hot" female aliens as well, that have chosen him to be the sole messenger and other typical cringe UFO fantasy stories.
And last but not least he absolutely hates the Jews and blames them for everything bad that has ever happened and will happen in the future.

The Last Podcast on the Left has an episode all about him and it's really good, information wise, humor not so much.
 
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dirt lamb

6feet under i stay so go shit&piss on my grave
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
everyone interested in this topic should go watch the documentaries "the invisible hand"(should still be on netflix) and "close encounters of the fifth kind" (new on amazon prime)

anyways, im still trying to be abducted so id appreciate it if samurai alien slayer would cool his jets.
 

Techpriest

Praise the Machine Spirits
kiwifarms.net
Great thread, anything related to New Age/Cults/Conspiracy schizos fascinate me tbh.

You should check out Billy Meier/FIGU. He's not really worth adding to the thread since he's very old now and he hasn't really done anything news worthy for years now but back in his hay day he would of been a pure lolcow material.
He faked all those UFO videos and photos yet he still denies it despite all the people close to him spilling the beans. Also there were people in the 90s and early 00s debunking his videos/photos by actually showing the techniques that Billy might have used, this made him furious.
He created a cult that (iirc) it required you to pay monthly just to be a member and ofc it was a pure scam.
Even today there are people that believe in him and follow his teachings https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9P3z1n0FbI
I can't remember much but his teachings revolved around some "hot" female aliens as well, that have chosen him to be the sole messenger and other typical cringe UFO fantasy stories.
And last but not least he absolutely hates the Jews and blames them for everything bad that has ever happened and will happen in the future.

The Last Podcast on the Left has an episode all about him and it's really good, information wise, humor not so much.
Alive or dead, young or old, I’d say if it’s a funny story post it here. I’d love for more details on Billy.
 

Marche

kiwifarms.net
Whitley Strieber is an odd one, he is the one who kinda kicked off the whole alien abduction anal rape that was pretty much the key joke of the first episode of south park. IIRC he either had a LOLsuit with South park studios or the very least blames that episode for people thinking he is an oddball.

There is also this whole thing about him being able to communicate with his dead wife and co-wrote a book with her.
 

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