Celebrity lolcows -

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Dwight Frye

*Laughs in Renfield*
kiwifarms.net
Kevin James has to be up there. Everyone I've talked with who has met him or had to work with/serve him has said he's a complete douchebag, right down to throwing out the "do you know who I am?" line. Doesn't tip, yells and screams if wait staff look directly at him ect...

Dude, all you're known for is playing "the dimwitted fatass" in every single role and sucking off Adam Sandler. You're not royalty.
 

MirrorNoir

Un, deux, trois, dit miroir noir
kiwifarms.net
Taylor Swift is one of those singers who has clung onto stardom far longer than she should have. She should have found some wealthy businessman/producer/professional lech and spend the rest of her life selling "Goop"-type products. Instead, she's become a living drama factory willing to suck the proverbial doorknob off of Hollywood in order to move on into acting. I cannot wait until no one takes her seriously.
Technically, Taylor peaked with 1989 and while Reputation didn't match 1989's sales, it was a big hit and probably the peak of her career-wise had she continued that path of apolitical stuff.

But she sold her soul to the anti-life death kult and produced Lovers, which did worse than Reputation and solidified her being on the downward trail of her career. Not even the hail mary that was her surprise country album (designed to lure her rapidly pissed off conservative fans back to her side to counter Lovers being a giant flop) could undo the damage of her SJW pandering/"Anti-Life Justifies My Hate" screeching she did and continues to do did to her career.


Britney Spears. Her hair may have grown back, but she didn't really recover from her breakdown in '07 otherwise. Plus her family is nuts and super controlling of her.

Madonna. Her kabbalah shit and resistance to aging is all pretty cringe.
Brittany rebounded quiet well. Granted, the backlash towards the way the media turned on her caused them to go over the top hailing the record she did after her breakdown as "great" even though it was pretty generic and forgettable. But Brittany DID seize on the media's blatant attempt to kiss her ass to apologize for treating her like shit during her dark days, to basically get the fuck out of dodge and cede the limelight to Lady Gaga and company. She's in a better place, though I have to think that she's happy she made it out of that period of her life with her life and her reputation pretty much salvaged to the point that she s till has fans and a following and that even her haters have started coming around to her music after years of hating her.

As for Madonna; she got lazy with American Life (which was thrown together at the last minute and that Madonna had no real interest in save for a deal she made with Missy Elliot to remix some of her songs/let Missy use some of her songs for sampling).

American Life the single was infamous for it's rapping and coming out at the height of the build-up for the Iraq War. Clear Channel (run by conservatives) never forgave her for attacking Bush and refused to play any singles from the album and basically blackballed Madonna from radio. This fucked up Madonna's next album, Confessions on the Dance Floor; an album that is considered one of Madonna's best works and arguably her last great album. With Clear Channel banning her from radio, and MTV at the time officially declaring they won't show music videos anymore, Madonna got royally screwed over and her career killed just as she made what some considered her magnum opus.

To keep her coffers filled, Madonna started a non-stop 15 year period of touring and sporadically releasing albums that no one bought. She was eclipsed by Lady Gaga and was no longer "it", which made her super depressed and start adopting black babies from Africa to fill the hole in her life. She also alienated her biological kids, to the point that her son by Guy Ritchie disowned her and that she had to double the money she paid him in the divorce (where Madonna had no pre-nup) to get him to cede full custody of the kid to her after he stated he wanted to live with his dad not his mom.

The last insult was her breaking her hip riding a horse and putting off surgery to tour for about 2-3 years and basically self-medicating with liquor because Madonna got so utterly paranoid watching other musicians fall prey to doctor feelgoods and watching Michael Jackson die like he did, that she was living every moment of her life in unspeakable agony rather than fall into the doctor feelgood spider-web. To the point that she completely destroyed her hip and had to have full-on hip replacement surgery. And after canceling her most recent tour to spend the spring/summer having the surgery and recovering while living in IIRC Italy while one of her adopted kids goes to an ultra-exclusive, well connected to the world of European soccer private school with the intention of getting him a pro-soccer contract out of high school, Covid happened and her surgery was cancelled because "it was cosmetic" surgery. So Madonna was stuck in quarantine, with no supplies to keep her fed and pampered, in such uncontrollable agony that she finally said "fuck it, give me the drugs!" and started mixing super-high end pain killers with liquor and realizing that her prime came and went without anyone having the balls to tell her that she was now old news and that if Covid died, she'd become just another dead celebrity to be exploited and whored out in death with no concern or qualms about how the corporations and fans exploit her legacy.
 

Karl der Grosse

Targeted Individual
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Cybill Shepard, as a young starlet, used to bang Black Panthers to prove what a radical she was. This has been mostly erased from public knowledge, but there are still a few references to it in books about the counterculture scene in 1968-72 California.

She also used to attend Roman Polanski's S&M parties, she was one of a number of Hollywood people who were very very concerned that the LAPD would confiscate all of Polanski's film from videotaped sex parties.
 

A Pox

kiwifarms.net
She also used to attend Roman Polanski's S&M parties, she was one of a number of Hollywood people who were very very concerned that the LAPD would confiscate all of Polanski's film from videotaped sex parties.
She was also very open about her being a giant whore in her autobiography and talked about how she had an orgasm during a gyno exam.

Now, Kevin Smith is not a lolcow yet but he's definitely bordering the territory and has been ever since he decided to make sequels to Tusk.
Kevin Smith had a legit mental break after Zack & Miri Make A Porno bombed.

He use to talk on Opie & Anthony how during the Red State theater tour, he would spend all his time smoking weed, writing and fucking a fleshlight. Then he would fall asleep, forget to clean it and deal with having to pour black sludge out of it days later.

He's still a pozzed faggot but he's come a long way since those days.
 
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Twinkletard

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
She also used to attend Roman Polanski's S&M parties, she was one of a number of Hollywood people who were very very concerned that the LAPD would confiscate all of Polanski's film from videotaped sex parties.

I used to watch her sitcom Cybill back in the 90s because I had the hots for Alicia Witt on it. She was so hot, i was like sprooooiiiiiinnnnnnngggggggggg
 

mdrop22

Not For Human Consumption
kiwifarms.net
Khloe Kardashian is flipping the fuck out on Twitter over an unedited picture of her in a bikini. She's even using legal means to have all uses of the photo removed from the Internet, which of course is just making more people seek it out. Here's the photo:

IMG_20210408_111106.jpg
Looks normal for a 30-something year old to me, especially considering all the surgeries, including an obvious tummy tuck after giving birth. But Khloe lost her mind, and has been going on and on about how "society" did this to her and she hates herself and her body. Yet she posts semi nudes on a weekly basis, they are just edited to CGI levels.

IMG_20210408_111524.jpg
On a personal note, I think it's hilarious how she photoshops abs onto all her pictures, even when it doesnt make sense and she clearly has no defintion there. Like, damn, just airbrushing and thinning and highlighting isnt enough?

Yesterday she posted some kind of visual essay on why she is turning into a lolcow and why everyone should actually feel really bad for her.

IMG_20210408_111806.jpgIMG_20210408_111812.jpgIMG_20210408_111814.jpgIMG_20210408_111815.jpg

TL;DR: Professional millionaire Khloe Kardashian throws a temper trantrum because someone posted an unedited photo of her and she found it to be mentally distressing, probably because she has body dysmorphia from the constant surgeries, filters, and edits. She normally only sees the shadow of what she looks like, being confronted with everyone seeing the truth of her body is literally breaking her mind.

If there's a more appropriate thread, Ill repost/move this. It's pretty funny to me and the fallout will continue. No one is having it yet Khloe is contiuing to double down, now with added buzzwords.
 
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Rupert Bear

Intensive Care Bear
kiwifarms.net
I still can't believe Moleman9000 is Dave Navarro's half-brother. Are there any other lolcows with famous relatives?
 

Doctor of Autism

The True and Honest Man
kiwifarms.net
I think Joss Whedon would be a lolcow for being a male feminist ally who unironically treats women and minorities horribly, is an egocentric maniac that he pisses off crew members and allegedly the main Justice League cast, and is even a manchild for allegedly screaming at an actor because their character was popular on his show as though it's the actor's fault.
 

benutz

kiwifarms.net
Not really in to the lolcow part of the site as I'm more an A&H fucking exceptional individual, however, I'm beginning to warm to the concept! Searched around for best place to put this - it's just a shitpost, but some of you might find it funny. I certainly did.

There was a recent spat between Roger Waters and Dave Gilmour of Pink Floyd fame. Apparently, Dave has banned Roger from promoting his work (and hateful words) on the official Pink Floyd Facebook and website. Now, Roger is a bleeding heart Palestinian promoting cunt. Ironic, as he has written some of the most cutting lyrics about 'bleeding hearts' but let's leave all that artsy stuff for later. Basically, it's a toys out of pram bitch fight, and oh fucking boy, I don't know who to side with anymore.

I was down with Gilmour, because, whilst still a lefty, he wasn't such an obnoxious bastard. But I'll leave my thoughts out of it lest I sperg more than I need to do.

For some quick background you just need to go to Roger Waters' site:


It explains things in depth, at length, more than I could ever hope to sperg.

There was some kind of veto or block on stuff being re-released, because Gilmour objected to the liner notes or something. So Roger redacted them to get the album re-released (guess he needs the money even though he is worth 180 Million or something), then he put the full fucking liner notes up on that link that Dave objected too. Cunt move. I'm beginning to warm to Roger tbh fam!

It's petty squabbling and you can see it's the settling of old scores by whatever means, and this is why I think it's cow materiel.

Roger is undoubtedly an obnoxious cunt, but he did raise a good point about Gilmour officially pushing the Xmas family get togethers with his whole family (his wife is obnoxious journalist polly samson or wtf and they even have her fucking lyrics on new floyd records). This is on the official fucking pink floyd site. So I followed one of the links:


Please archive for me fam, I'm a bit wankered at the mo' - or I wouldn't be writing this stupid fucking exceptional post, obviously. Thanks.

Jesus fucking christ. I couldn't fucking believe it. Can you?

And head of ceremonies is arch fucking statue pisser and LSD protester (who did time at her majesty's pleasure and who the arrse boys had a lot of fun with) fucking little Charlie Gilmour/Samson himself! The little smug cunt. So fucking unlikeable. Anyway.

CGCenotaph_1783409c.jpg


A video paints a thousand words. Fuck me. Kill me now. I want no part in this travesty.

How fucking up your own fucking arrse do you need to be to do this? They don't need the cash. They don't need the good boi points or ass pats. Fuck, what do they need? It's as if fucking Nietsche was right and there is some kind of dark monster that takes over souls when they fight other monsters, the fucking do-gooders!

Meanwhile, some fucking how. Irredeemable Roger is now looking like the better bet in the LOL cow stakes. Where as he was once a palestinian loving insufferable cunt who bullied the best keyboard player ever on the planet (RIP Rick Wright) to cancer death, for some reason, he's looking like the fucking reasonable one if you watched that god dammned video from the Fucking Von Trapps? WTF?

Case in point, here is Roger doing a little (what is the French word for it when in Film, you do a little gesture to camera you shouldn't?) WTF, here is Roger doing one of the best songs ever recorded from the last real album he did with the Floyd - The Wall - and he wrote by himself iirc - Mother! All in G, C and D. A stroke of genius.


It really is a great rendition if you liked the OG. A bit of ropey rhythm from Roger, but whatevs, the band is great. But it's his facial expressions that get me. The guy is fucking obsessed. Check out the fucking cat ladies holding dogs with cat's eyes bitch glasses doing backing vox! I really don't know what to think by this point.

Mother do you think they'll try to break my balls?


Just before 1:20 in the vid.

Funny as fuck. He really does think Dave is still out to get him because he won't let him shitpost on his official website (pink floyd). Never let it be forgotten that it was actually Roger who instigated all that legal rights to the band's name shit back in the 70's and he lost basically - tough titties.

He really is a first rate cunt, if not a lol cow. Yet...

I just can't help but be won over by how much more bitter and twisted he is than Gilmour!

Worth nearly 200 fucking million quid. Respected and arse-licked by just about any one who was once a long haired hippy. Yet, it's not enough! He still wants Dave to let him on to his legally owned site so he can post fucking palestinian propoganda and shit talk what a cunt Dave really is/was. How fucking dare he de-platform ar Rog! It's not fucking on!

He's got a book coming out soon. This was a shot across the bows apparently and a warning to Dave!

Fucking hell, I think Gilmour might have his work cut out for him keeping this old coffin dodger off his back in his final throes of fucking demented absentia, all the while maintaining those oh so spontaneous and impromptu Xmas dinners with the family, all led by an ex con who pissed on the cenotaph whilst high on LSD. And nearly murdered Prince Charles and Camilla when he stopped their car in traffic and started bricking it with stones.

And a pound to a penny old dirty Roger is hate fucking both those danger hair backing vocalists in his video.

The dog, I'm not so sure about.

Few things would surprise me at this point.

I'll be buying pirating his book as soon as it is released.
 

Kornula

kiwifarms.net
I was going to mention Andy Dick but @MirrorNoir beat me to it.

I used to think Jon Lovitz would end up as a lolcow eventually, but apparently he's actually one of the more based of the Hollywood comedic actors.

Remember that infamous spat he had with Kevin Smith a few years back?

It was because Lovitz called out Obama on his bullshit rhetoric and dared to express the fact that he was disappointed by Obama after voting for him in 2008.
I read an interview with Lovitz about 10 years ago where he said he actually did beat up Andy Dick. That would have been funny to watch. Dick was..Dick. He bragged to the whole cast of News Radio that he gave the coke to Phil's wife. I'm surprised the whole cast didn't just throw him off the top of a building. Hell, I'm surprised he's still alive.

As for other celieberity Lolcows:
Joy Behar ... need I say more?
George Takei went off the deep end in 2016 with TDS from day one of Trump's election. "Let them die" tweet is just the cherry on top of his Lolcowness.
Kathy Griffin could only get attention at all the past 5 years with that picture of her and the effigy of Trump's Decapitated head.
Seth Rogan is not quite a full lolcow yet..but he's virtue signaling left and right ...and it aint workin to his favor.
 

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