حلال Connor Bible -

Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 87 11.2%
  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 55 7.1%
  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 455 58.6%
  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 180 23.2%

  • Total voters
    777

Null

Ooperator
kiwifarms.net
[EDIT: Connor's post history for pretty much everywhere can be found in this post: https://kiwifarms.net/threads/connor-bible.7044/page-254#post-623479 ]


@Connor is a long-term forum user and beloved pet. He's most known for having absolutely no filter and requesting an account deletion every week.

He's repeatedly gotten into the spotlight for saying crazy things, which he almost immediately regrets and tries to cover up by requesting an account deletion. He is literally incapable of staying away from the website, probably because he has nothing better to do.

A frequent user of Wrong Planet, perhaps trying to substitute the forums and keep away, his posts are pretty funny.


A general warning about the CWCki Forums:
https://kiwifarms.net/attachments/connor-tries-to-slander-kiwi-farms-png.12913/

Connor tries to quit masturbating:
https://kiwifarms.net/attachments/connor-tries-to-quit-masturbating-png.12914/


Funny stories include:
- A general distrust of adoptive parents. He got into a fight with Marvin, who was a child reared by foster care, over if foster care parents are at all useful.
- A seething disdain for the moving Juno. This is because it portrayed adoptive parents in a positive light, or something. I ended up streaming Juno for the entire forum at some point and that was pretty fun.
- This fucking quote:
"There are sticky, lint like objects in the area of my groin, and near the perineum. They smell like death. In fact, that is what my groin smells like, even after applying Gold Bond and Lotrimin and taking a long bath."
- One time recently, after asking to be banned for 2 years, I turned his name pink. He seemed to believe this was an actual ban and vanished for a week.

And some other stuff. I just wanted to lay a foundation.
 

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Globe

baby you look great today
kiwifarms.net
Connor has this weird ability to bring out the optimist in me, in more than a schadenfreude kinda way. He'll chimp out and disappear and then come back and every time he does, I find myself hoping that maybe he'll turn over a new leaf. Maybe something some of the people have said here will have sunk. It never does.
 

Ultimate Grisby

The new face of nightmares
kiwifarms.net
- This fucking quote:
"There are sticky, lint like objects in the area of my groin, and near the perineum. They smell like death. In fact, that is what my groin smells like, even after applying Gold Bond and Lotrimin and taking a long bath."
Okay, I haven't been on this forum for long and thought this was from Christian Chandler regarding his taint piercing whenever I saw the quote pop up. But nope, from our boy Connor. Holy shit, that's disgusting.
 

The Knife

Magnificent Witch
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Oh man, wasn't there a time when he thought the forum april fools joke was legit, and everyone who posted here was going to get in trouble?

Or am I thinking of another forum sperg?
Nope. Null posted that the forum was shutting down due to an investigation. Connor believed it.

Related: Connor's computer was having issues. As a joke, someone--I believe Ziltoid--said it was because he (Zilt) hacked it. Connor proceeded to ask Ziltoid about five or six times, in increasingly frantic tones, if he'd really hacked his computer.
 

ShekelKing

With jews... you win!
kiwifarms.net
"There are sticky, lint like objects in the area of my groin, and near the perineum. They smell like death. In fact, that is what my groin smells like, even after applying Gold Bond and Lotrimin and taking a long bath."
Is he talking about smegma? Why would you ever tell somebody you have that?
As for his masturbation habit, he's fully aware that being out of shape is a large factor. Just exercise.
 

Cute Anime Girl

Anime Warrior
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
dude, if he's got smegma like, overflowing into his crotchal region, that's fudcked up man. not a mental image i've ever wanted.
If it is in fact smegma he's talking about, how often does he bathe? Seriously take a fucking shower.

The only excuse for this shit is if you're homeless or in some 3rd World hole and only bathe like once a month.