حلال Connor Bible -

Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 87 11.2%
  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 55 7.1%
  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 453 58.5%
  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 179 23.1%

  • Total voters
    774

MerriedxReldnahc

World's Okay-est Proctologist
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Wait, so this guy Connor actually goes on about Molly Ringwald like she's his mother or something? I've seen all sorts of weirdos but this one stands out like, he can't function if she were to pass away.
He described his vision of Molly Ringwald almost as a sort of triple Goddess with multiple incarnations. "Mother" Molly was the protector, who nurtures him and keeps him safe, "Sister" Molly I think was also like a protector who would fight for him and also be a person to confide in, and "Lover" Molly was, well....the one whose bellybutton he wants to put ice cubes in.
 

Hi I Am From Page 6

Fucking loser ass dork
kiwifarms.net
he can't function if she were to pass away.
If Ms Ringwald passed away, Connor would cry, masturbate to comfort himself until his balls didn't work anymore, be unable to write 2 sentences, and neglect his personal hygiene to the point of getting crotch fungus. So basically he'd function just as well as he always does.
 

sikotik

It's Lego Frank Mutha Fucka!
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
This thread was recommended to me after a couple posts in the Assigned Male thread, and I have been reading this with great interest and indeed amusement. I can say one thing about Connor: Nothing will inspire a man more than seeing someone absolutely fail at everything.
Connor doesn't so much fail at everything so much as he doesn't even bother trying in the first place.
 

AngeloTheWizard

Bringer of amusing Let's Sperg threads
kiwifarms.net
Connor doesn't so much fail at everything so much as he doesn't even bother trying in the first place.
I dunno, some of the examples of his "art" from WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY back in this thread are some real damn failures.

It is true he doesn't really try. Still makes me want to push myself to get better and do more.
 

r00

Goin' Grink
kiwifarms.net
I sometimes wonder how much Connor actually legitimately reads.
I think he's read (or has explicitly claimed to have read):

Silence of the Lambs
The Shining
All Quiet on the Western Front
Dracula
American Psycho

There's probably some other Stephen King bullshit, but thats about it. So if you believe what he says, he seems to be doing about a book a year. Such a little bookworm.
 

MysticMisty

kiwifarms.net
I think he's read (or has explicitly claimed to have read):

Silence of the Lambs
The Shining
All Quiet on the Western Front
Dracula
American Psycho

There's probably some other Stephen King bullshit, but thats about it. So if you believe what he says, he seems to be doing about a book a year. Such a little bookworm.
Last I heard Connor was claiming to be reading The Shining, but he hadn't read a whole lot before he stopped talking about it, and that was ages ago. I think it's more like Connor looks up the synopsis, focuses on the "differences from adaptation" section to seem familiar with the subject when applicable, and then talks about it. Connor doesn't have the patience for reading, not even young adult novels.
 

Handsome Pete

If you need me, I'm probably in Movie Night
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I sometimes wonder how much Connor actually legitimately reads.
I think he's read (or has explicitly claimed to have read):

Silence of the Lambs
The Shining
All Quiet on the Western Front
Dracula
American Psycho

There's probably some other Stephen King bullshit, but thats about it. So if you believe what he says, he seems to be doing about a book a year. Such a little bookworm.
Last I heard Connor was claiming to be reading The Shining, but he hadn't read a whole lot before he stopped talking about it, and that was ages ago. I think it's more like Connor looks up the synopsis, focuses on the "differences from adaptation" section to seem familiar with the subject when applicable, and then talks about it. Connor doesn't have the patience for reading, not even young adult novels.
Connor has written more books than he's read.

Don't proceed with this line of thought unless you were good at fractions in school.