DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

When will the tip goal be raised from $150 (set July 22nd) to $200?

  • Never

    Votes: 12 5.0%
  • Within a month

    Votes: 194 80.5%
  • 2+ months

    Votes: 16 6.6%
  • Tax begging time (December-March)

    Votes: 19 7.9%

  • Total voters
    241

Joshuan Moon

Punished Josh: A Fallen Feeder
kiwifarms.net
Oh god, I found it. It was a fucking $1 SnoKarl rant. He calls SnoKarl 5 years old for not understanding this and end his rant with saying "Facts & Logic". The kicker is Phil is giving this rant barely 3 weeks after filing for bankruptcy. Phil is even more retarded than I remembered.
Timestamped @ 45m35s Edit: Video wouldn't embed? Link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBtaG9XPyj4&t=45m35s

I started paying attention to Phil around this time and I remember this rant (or one like it). You can tell he honestly believes what he is saying here that eating out is just as expensive as cooking at home. I really couldn't wrap my head around how he came to this conclusion, I know some people say that fast food is cheaper and that is why poor people are fat when they shouldn't be because they're poor. It's not true but it's more true than saying that eating at an actual restaurant is just as expensive as eating at home.

It wasn't until I read through the cooking thread that I was able to see what Mr Piggy here is thinking when he says this nonsense. Literally all his home prepared meals are expensive frozen or preprepared dishes. He buys overpriced sides from the grocery deli at like $10 a container (also worth reminding everyone of the "caramel coated" black forest deli ham lol). Almost none of the ingredients he uses are fresh and whole. He gets pre cut vegetables and pre cooked meats. Guaranteed he always buys the name brands over the store brands too.

In his mind putting a frozen stouffers lasagna into an oven or microwave is cooking at home, not actually assembling the ingredients to make a custom gourmet lasagna. Nope, just add some extra cheese from a bag onto the stoufers and thats custom home cooked Italian food. In all likelihood he probably doubles up on the portions because these super processed foods aren't filling and he's a fat. So that's how you end up with a "home cooked" meal that costs $40 for two people.
 
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DerichLovesNWA

kiwifarms.net
Reminder:

Kat is so stupid that she put her half-eaten Indian food into the garbage disposal, bones and all, turned it on, "got scared" when the bones were being chewed up by the disposal, and sat there staring at it being ground up/it dulling the blades as it roared in the sink drain until Phil came over to investigate the noise, turn off the disposal, and throw the bone away.

This is the brainpower you're talking about when you discuss Phil's better half.
 

UaineRunei

Hate Army lieutenant
kiwifarms.net
Reminder:

Kat is so stupid that she put her half-eaten Indian food into the garbage disposal, bones and all, turned it on, "got scared" when the bones were being chewed up by the disposal, and sat there staring at it being ground up/it dulling the blades as it roared in the sink drain until Phil came over to investigate the noise, turn off the disposal, and throw the bone away.

This is the brainpower you're talking about when you discuss Phil's better half.
Yeah, I'm starting to think that Jasper is the condo owner and those two are his pets.
 

AckaholAnonymous

Yes, business related and I do still own it
kiwifarms.net
Who would’ve thought that an off day would produce so much gold dust. And it’s only the appetizer to what should be a rare comedy gold pre stream main course, with his tone-deaf surprise for dessert.

just like he thinks every click on one of his tweets is an individual person looking at it.

i ain't gonna lie, i don't know the intricacies of how twitter works, but Nigel explained this "visibility" shit before and from what I recall, lines up with what I just said. someone correct me otherwise.

Yes, it’s very easy to get a lot of impressions/engagements on a tweet. I could go post under some semi viral tweets and have thousands of impressions in just a few hours. It’s clear as day that Dave fundamentally misunderstands his twitter stats - he associates his number of impressions with his ‘true’ fans, but literally anytime some views a tweet, it counts as an impression. Here are Nigel’s posts of him explaining it and giving an example of one of his tweets:
Phil thinks he has hundreds of thousands of fans because on Twitter you can see a thing called "Tweet activity" which shows you a thing called "Impressions". That tells you how many times your Tweet has been seen, and nothing else.
For people that don't use Twitter, the numbers he is once again crying about mean fuck all. This is an example from my Twitter,
The best measure to go by is public engagement, likes, replies, retweets. And Phil’s public engagement is fucking TERRIBLE for a verified account his size.
 

Stephen Hawking

kiwifarms.net
Just got banned again at 1:35 because I said a family of 5 can budget with his income....
Im gona keep going to see how much he is monitoring.
I got some time off this week and this is hilarious
Screenshot 2021-07-22 1.34.16 AM.png
 

hundredthousand

kiwifarms.net
Usually when he goes on these pity rants he cashes in from his tards the next day so I'm expecting a bunch of "Been a fan since..." sock account donations tomorrow.

And of course, tomorrow he will announce another expensive gift has arrived from a mysterious longtime fan who wants to remain anonymous. Looking likely it'll be a new chair.

He should hold another fundraiser called "Help DSP afford breakfast." With a tips goal of $2,500
 

Cistern Rumbler

Definitely Not Retarded
kiwifarms.net
Reminder:

Kat is so stupid that she put her half-eaten Indian food into the garbage disposal, bones and all, turned it on, "got scared" when the bones were being chewed up by the disposal, and sat there staring at it being ground up/it dulling the blades as it roared in the sink drain until Phil came over to investigate the noise, turn off the disposal, and throw the bone away.

This is the brainpower you're talking about when you discuss Phil's better half.
Holy fuck please can you link this in the thread?

This potato-brained bitch... :story:
 

Mr. Brown

kiwifarms.net
I absolutely love the fact that all Phil did on his day off was tweet and watch kat play a video game.

This says a lot about him, he gets 1 day a week to spend time with his wife and because he couldn't indulge himself and get that dopamine hit of spending money he didn't bother. The mere suggestion of budgeting got him mad.

There's lots of things he could have done for free and made some good memories with his wife. He lives in a beautiful part of the world, he could have gone for a walk or gone to a beach. Go and spend $20 on food and have a picnic... Do something ffs!

Instead he said fuck this and threw a tantrum on twitter. If he doesn't get his 3 restaurant meals a day he's not interested in her.

She's just a thing Phil brings to restaurants to eat with to avoid going alone. She's just one of those stuffed animals they put at your table in Korea if you're on your own.

:story: :story: :story:
 

Pretty Boy Extremism

Rex Wandalorum et Alanorum
kiwifarms.net
i ain't gonna lie, i don't know the intricacies of how twitter works, but Nigel explained this "visibility" shit before and from what I recall, lines up with what I just said. someone correct me otherwise.
Yes, it’s very easy to get a lot of impressions/engagements on a tweet. I could go post under some semi viral tweets and have thousands of impressions in just a few hours. It’s clear as day that Dave fundamentally misunderstands his twitter stats - he associates his number of impressions with his ‘true’ fans, but literally anytime some views a tweet, it counts as an impression. Here are Nigel’s posts of him explaining it and giving an example of one of his tweets:
Correct, I've talked about this too and the most important thing to note when it comes to twitter impressions is that one person can give multiple impressions for one tweet and theoretically even one just person could easily overinflate the number of impressions. An impression merely notes how many times a tweet was loaded in someone's timeline, it doesn't matter how it got there. If you go on Phil's twitter profile, every single tweet that will be loaded on the page will get one impression. If you refresh the page a second later, all of the tweets that were loaded will get an impression again. Let's say you made a script which refreshed the page ever 5 secs, if he doesn't make any tweets in the meantime which would push out some of the old ones, in 24 hours every single tweet loaded would get 17280 impressions JUST FROM ONE PERSON ALONE!

You can see where I'm going with this, people saw his massive twitter spergout yesterday, refreshed his page a lot to see if he's gonna make another extremely dumb tweet. Let's say that just a 100 people refreshed the page once a minute, that would be 6000 impressions for every tweet in just an hour. Phil doesn't understand this so he'd think 6000 unique people saw his tweets that hour.

Also, he made another tweet get ready for a FOOD TALK segment today! I'd also like to note that the tweet was posted at 1:55am Seattle time.
iwonderdlonelyasaCOW - Copy - Copy (2).jpg
 

tzgnilki

kiwifarms.net
4. His relationship with Khet can’t even be called a relationship at this point. What marriage can even survive or be considered remotely healthy when you spend only one day a week with your SO? Anybody in a relationship knows that shit doesn’t fly. You make time for the other person you live your life with. To me, it’s just more proof that they function more as roommates than a married couple. He also spent the whole day arguing with trolls on Twitter. If I allotted one day a week to spend with my girl and I spent most of the day on the internet, you know she’s gonna make my day a living hell. There doesn’t seem to be anything between those two and you know why? Because Khet doesn’t care nor loves him. She does not treat this man as someone that she loves and wants to spend time with. The fact that she has never put her foot down or made it clear that he either fixes his schedule and spend more time with her or she’s out of this relationship means she probably likes the fact she spends so little time with him. It appears your wife wants nothing to do with you Phil. How incredibly lonely and pathetic.

"The fact that she has never put her foot down"

don't really wanna talk about kat since there's an entire thread for that, but what I wanna sperg on is whether or not dave has made any kind of effort to save his marriage

he used to do over time quite often to beg, or he'd do a fan service by doing 5 minutes of over time when he's trying to prove he doesn't just do OT to beg, but in the last few months, we've seen him speed run ANY% clock out, it's him pretending to be a good husband

he's also made it a point to mention how much of a chad husband he is by cooking hamburger helper (ruined it), turkey tacos (didn't know how to stretch minced meat to serve 2 people so ate a ham sandwich and let his wife eat like a queen), constantly orders takeout when it's "his turn to took", or conveniently "forgot an obscure ingredient so had to order out"... he must feel a major bout of guilt when she has to come home to some dogshit food so he solves this by throwing money at the local uber eats pajeet to navigate the maze to his private community middle condo

it just reminds me of something everyone does as children, they put such little effort into something, or they do such a bad job in the hopes of their parent/caregiver/horse will just end up doing it themselves, and when adults do this to other adults, sometimes there's a breaking point, especially when one or both are legally retarded

and even dave himself has admitted they "share responsibilities", so he's one of those people who think relationships are 50/50, but in reality, successful non-bankrupt relationships are 100/100
 

25 Invisible push-ups

200 dollars please!
kiwifarms.net
I haven't been around for a couple of months I think at this point, but I'm guessing Dave is still:

-Boring

Am I in the ballpark?
I don’t know, he was pretty entertaining today, and that on his day off.

EDIT: When do we think his next fundraiser begathon is going to be? This weekend or will he at least have the decency to wait until August?
 
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Cataloons

Kiwis gonna kiwi.
kiwifarms.net
View attachment 2367456
boo fucking hoo you just bought an Xbox, laptop, and a chair is in the mail
breakfast.jpg


16.70 Australian Dollars = 12.32772 US Dollars

Eggs Benedict for 2 - 6 people, depending on how hungry they are. Easily a $20 dish per serving in a cafe.

People sneeze and superchat more than that. Fuck you, Phil. Fuck you, right in the ear.
 

Filthy Greenskin

professional git krumper
kiwifarms.net
Also, he made another tweet get ready for a FOOD TALK segment today! I'd also like to note that the tweet was posted at 1:55am Seattle time.
View attachment 2369572

I wonder if Kat has finally tired of feeding her pig potatoes and turkey dogs that she now makes Phil order out. Also hilarious to imagine Phil standing on the doorway of Kat's room while she's playing Yakuza like they're having 'quality time', clearly she only puts up with him for their trip out to the store and feeding afterwards.
 
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