Lolcow Emery Wagar / Amanda Wagar / heybluewrites and Yuki Rose / Chris Chitwood / yukirozuhime - Asexual troon couple, animal hoarders, send lots of fake legal threats, "I'm not playing games. I'm pressing charges."

Fish face tuna lad

Time to take the plunge
kiwifarms.net
Updated the OP to include Chris-Chit. He's even more of a lolcow than Amanda.
Much appreciated. It's always nice when finding one cow leads to finding an even greater cow. We can only hope that since they're together, and thus their exceptionalism will interact in fun ways, it will lead to a much greater volume of tard cum in the days to come.
 

Fish face tuna lad

Time to take the plunge
kiwifarms.net
Hate to double post but he's making up special talents again. When asked "what kind of reader are you?":
20200324_115522.jpg
Let's unpack this. Firstly, there is no such thing as a "pictographic" memory. The terms you could have used were eidetic or photographic. If you're going to lie at least use the right term. Secondly, maybe I'm rətarded, but I don't think you can "scan" a page and read that page in your head while simultaneously scanning the next page. At any one time you're either reading the page in front of you or you're reading your special brain page. This might be why your reading comprehension seems poor. Thirdly, your numbers simply don't add up.
According to Google, all the Harry Potter books total 4224 pages. The Inheritance saga is 2,894 pages. Even at your rate of 600-800 pages per day for new books, it would take 3.5-5 days to read the Inheritance saga and 5-7 days plus change for Harry Potter. This is more than double your claim for each series. Fuck, to get the Inheritance saga done in 24 hours, assuming you were reading constantly for all 1440 minutes of it, you would have to be completing about one full page every thirty seconds with 0 breaks. With Harry Potter, even given a full 48 hours of constant reading, you would need to complete each page in about 41 seconds. If we factor in the realities of eating, sleeping, lying on twitter and etc, it becomes even more obvious you're making shit up.

There is only one potentially truthful statement in this screencap, and that is the gentleman claiming you must be a mutant. I'm pretty sure you've got a few misplaced chromosomes too.

Edit: Math typo
 
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Chonburi Flaps

But if not see boob shape? How know is woman?
kiwifarms.net
Secondly, maybe I'm rətarded, but I don't think you can "scan" a page and read that page in your head while simultaneously scanning the next page. At any one time you're either reading the page in front of you or you're reading your special brain page.
Surely that means he's only ever one page ahead in terms of what he's reading? Which means his scanning and reading speeds are the same, otherwise, if what he is claiming to be capable of is true, his scanning would outpace his reading and he'd be pages, if not chapters ahead by the end of the book.

Or, he's full of shit and lolmilk.
 

Fish face tuna lad

Time to take the plunge
kiwifarms.net
So Chris posted this recently:20200327_231818.jpg
If he is actually helping with the coronavirus stuff going on then I won't give him shit for it. There's plenty of other things he does that I can laugh at him for anyway. However, on closer inspection of the picture:
20200327_231833.jpg
Apparently he works somewhere called Monarch Heights? On investigation, there is no healthcare facility with that name in North Dakota, but there is one in neighboring Minnesota.
20200327_234712.jpg
20200327_234735.jpg
So can we conclude that Chris is, ironically enough, some sort of tard wrangler for this place? I'm honestly not sure. This place is in Ortonville, MN and if Chris still lives in Casselton, ND then that's one hell of a commute every day.
20200327_234751.jpg
As of right now I'm not entirely sure what to think. If any other Kiwis have any more information I'd love to hear it.
 

HeyItsHarveyMacClout

Casualty of the Culture War
kiwifarms.net
So Chris posted this recently:View attachment 1205620
If he is actually helping with the coronavirus stuff going on then I won't give him shit for it. There's plenty of other things he does that I can laugh at him for anyway. However, on closer inspection of the picture:
View attachment 1205621
Apparently he works somewhere called Monarch Heights? On investigation, there is no healthcare facility with that name in North Dakota, but there is one in neighboring Minnesota.
View attachment 1205627
View attachment 1205628
So can we conclude that Chris is, ironically enough, some sort of tard wrangler for this place? I'm honestly not sure. This place is in Ortonville, MN and if Chris still lives in Casselton, ND then that's one hell of a commute every day.
View attachment 1205626
As of right now I'm not entirely sure what to think. If any other Kiwis have any more information I'd love to hear it.
He might be a live in nurse? Like he stays on premise for 72 hours then he gets the rest of the week off. It’d make sense because they’d definitely need someone staying there overnight if it’s tard housing
 

JY's Tampon

kiwifarms.net
So Chris posted this recently:View attachment 1205620
If he is actually helping with the coronavirus stuff going on then I won't give him shit for it. There's plenty of other things he does that I can laugh at him for anyway. However, on closer inspection of the picture:
View attachment 1205621
Apparently he works somewhere called Monarch Heights? On investigation, there is no healthcare facility with that name in North Dakota, but there is one in neighboring Minnesota.
View attachment 1205627
View attachment 1205628
So can we conclude that Chris is, ironically enough, some sort of tard wrangler for this place? I'm honestly not sure. This place is in Ortonville, MN and if Chris still lives in Casselton, ND then that's one hell of a commute every day.
View attachment 1205626
As of right now I'm not entirely sure what to think. If any other Kiwis have any more information I'd love to hear it.
A while back I remember his girlfriend saying something about moving in with Chris and she said something about moving to a new state.
So Chris posted this recently:View attachment 1205620
If he is actually helping with the coronavirus stuff going on then I won't give him shit for it. There's plenty of other things he does that I can laugh at him for anyway. However, on closer inspection of the picture:
View attachment 1205621
Apparently he works somewhere called Monarch Heights? On investigation, there is no healthcare facility with that name in North Dakota, but there is one in neighboring Minnesota.
View attachment 1205627
View attachment 1205628
So can we conclude that Chris is, ironically enough, some sort of tard wrangler for this place? I'm honestly not sure. This place is in Ortonville, MN and if Chris still lives in Casselton, ND then that's one hell of a commute every day.
View attachment 1205626
As of right now I'm not entirely sure what to think. If any other Kiwis have any more information I'd love to hear it.
looks like they are in Minnesota.
5EAC149B-5F5A-4041-8196-B06DFDD61F9E.jpeg
Update: Chris is a real badass
AF4B3361-821A-40CC-A6DB-029558F00474.jpeg
 
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downloads

kiwifarms.net
He might be a live in nurse? Like he stays on premise for 72 hours then he gets the rest of the week off. It’d make sense because they’d definitely need someone staying there overnight if it’s tard housing
He's probably a janitor, they are loving being called essential personal right now, he's just trying to soak up that praise. If he was a nurse he would have bragged about that by now.

eta if you go to the Monarch Heights management fb, not the one called Monarch Heights Disability, they have tons of staff photos, he's not in any of them. Unless he has top-secret nursing home clearance he's just some shitty temp they've got cleaning poop or making meals.
 
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Fish face tuna lad

Time to take the plunge
kiwifarms.net
He should be suspended just for completely misusing whom. The idiot.
He tried again. Maybe he thinks the more he uses it the higher the chance he'll get it right at some point.
20200330_110835.jpg

In related news, he recently got in a twitter slap fight with some EMT or something about the Alabama decision mentioned in the above tweet. There were a few good moments:

20200330_111001.jpg
When were you ever a first responder? Pretending to be in the Navy doesn't count and neither does tard-wrangling, if that's even what you do at Monarch Heights. As an aside, anybody found his totally real DD214 yet?

20200330_110915.jpg
If he works in healthcare at all I'm pretty sure he has a higher title than you. Also, what do you mean by "if I have to make a similar decision again"? Are you really claiming that you've made life and death decisions like that before?

20200330_111017.jpg
:story: Holy christ that's exactly what he's claiming. Did you once find two tards fighting each other in the hallway and have to make the decision whether or not to intervene with your deadly hair whip? Truly the decisions that keep us up at night.

Also, just to recap, a list of things Chris has claimed to be:
A nuclear engineer in the Navy
A first responder (EMT specifically?)
A super combat ninja badass
A professional gamer
A hyperspeed reader
Some sort of childhood trauma survivor
Player of multiple instruments
1337 hacker with 57 throwaway emails
True and honest trans woman

Edit: phrasing
 

HeyItsHarveyMacClout

Casualty of the Culture War
kiwifarms.net
Since I haven't seen a post about it, here's Chris' facebook. Found easily enough by searching 'Yuki Chitwood' (link).

74674423_10162721432420171_7246373288853635072_n.jpg
Chris Facebook.png

(Profile pic and description/photos)

Had about what you'd expect on there. You can't see posts more than a couple weeks old, so there's not much new except for higher quality versions of his profile pics so you get to see the 'tism in blazing 1080p fidelity.

Chris Health.png
Chris Health 2.png

Something I did notice is that when he talks about Health Care workers on his personal facebook where family members are looking, he doesn't use the inclusive "WE" he uses on Twitter to refer to healthcare workers and himself. That makes me think that whatever he does, while it might be connected to healthcare, it is only in the mildest meaning of the word and his family members would scrutinize him if he called himself one. Also, his mom tagged him in a meme about "Nursing Home Staff", so that makes me think that he works custodial/cooking/non-patient care work a senior citizens home. You know for a fact that The Greatest Generation/Old school Boomers wouldn't put up with a man running around with a dress, and you also know that Chris would flip shit the second that someone calls him by the wrong pronouns, so my guess is that while he works in a nursing home, he doesn't do any of the actual nursing.

What is interesting is we get to look at some of the members of the Chitwood/Wagar families.

Chris mom 3.png


His mom, Wanda Chitwood, looks like and shares the exact kinds of memes you'd expect. Something I noticed scrolling through her Facebook is that she is a Nurse and she is literally obsessed with sharing nursing memes and she acts like she has a Christ complex because she works as one. I think this is where Chris gets in fetishism for healthcare workers. His mom spams so many nursing memes that he probably thinks they're gods among men. I'd take a moment to wonder if Chris was working with her but both places are about an hour apart from one another so I doubt mommy got him the job. Also. Despite her incessant posting about Chris and the rest of her family members, I did not see a single post about a husband on her timeline. This makes me think that Chris was raised by an only mother, and this is why he has his autogynephilia

Chris mom 2.png


I don't know whats funnier. The idea that she got sick, didn't respond to any well wishing messages, and then got mad that she didn't get any messages, or the fact that she is almost as unlikeable as her son that her manager/coworkers wouldn't contact her when she had a fucking stroke. Even my coworkers sent me messages when I caught the flu and was out for a week.

32072980_2163634013653156_2521857925509545984_n.jpg
42193640_2368113979871824_220855748165369856_n.jpg


Emery's sister(?), Aubrey Wagar, is also exceptional as hell. Honestly, at this point, I don't even blame Emery for being a weirdo degenerate. It's obviously her parent's fault for why her and her siblings are so fucked up.

42110624_10205064675012037_2291784881174216704_o.jpg


Finally, speaking of which, here is momma and papa Wagar (Sharon and Russ). I don't know what to say except you raised one hell of an exceptional daughter.

Honestly the funniest part about all of this is despite me spending an autistic amount of time looking at Facebook, I found literally nothing interesting about Emery. This bitch is so boring even her own thread is getting derailed and refocused to her boyfriend who likes wearing dresses. The most notable thing about Emery is the fact that she's absolutely surrounded by people who make her look like milquetoast by comparison
 
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HeyItsHarveyMacClout

Casualty of the Culture War
kiwifarms.net
A3BE300F-B2CB-40B9-8A25-CD4D3B527C1E.jpeg

DD718D35-E461-4C0A-9217-B264CAA07FED.jpeg

“He’s accusing people of stealing medical suppliers!!!”
“To be fair people are stealing medical supplies”
“Damn, people are awful :/, but this is still trumps fault”

Also the Trump quote was that mask/glove losses went from 10,000-20,000 (per month?) to over 300,000, and he thinks stealing/hoarding by those in charge are responsible. Remember when there was a warehouse of medical supplies found in Puerto Rico, remember how Chinese politicians were selling masks out of their garage for cash instead of sending them to hospitals? Maybe it is a good idea to investigate this.

A0D9A117-5265-482B-93B0-02C1D6F7F16B.jpeg

The idiocy of this post is apparent, so I’m not going to delve into this, but that’s not how you use the word ‘abdicate’ kid
 

Constellationzero

kiwifarms.net
Since I haven't seen a post about it, here's Chris' facebook. Found easily enough by searching 'Yuki Chitwood' (link).

View attachment 1208863View attachment 1208864
(Profile pic and description/photos)

Had about what you'd expect on there. You can't see posts more than a couple weeks old, so there's not much new except for higher quality versions of his profile pics so you get to see the 'tism in blazing 1080p fidelity.

View attachment 1208865View attachment 1208866
Something I did notice is that when he talks about Health Care workers on his personal facebook where family members are looking, he doesn't use the inclusive "WE" he uses on Twitter to refer to healthcare workers and himself. That makes me think that whatever he does, while it might be connected to healthcare, it is only in the mildest meaning of the word and his family members would scrutinize him if he called himself one. Also, his mom tagged him in a meme about "Nursing Home Staff", so that makes me think that he works custodial/cooking/non-patient care work a senior citizens home. You know for a fact that The Greatest Generation/Old school Boomers wouldn't put up with a man running around with a dress, and you also know that Chris would flip shit the second that someone calls him by the wrong pronouns, so my guess is that while he works in a nursing home, he doesn't do any of the actual nursing.

What is interesting is we get to look at some of the members of the Chitwood/Wagar families.

View attachment 1208867

His mom, Wanda Chitwood, looks like and shares the exact kinds of memes you'd expect. Something I noticed scrolling through her Facebook is that she is a Nurse and she is literally obsessed with sharing nursing memes and she acts like she has a Christ complex because she works as one. I think this is where Chris gets in fetishism for healthcare workers. His mom spams so many nursing memes that he probably thinks they're gods among men. I'd take a moment to wonder if Chris was working with her but both places are about an hour apart from one another so I doubt mommy got him the job. Also. Despite her incessant posting about Chris and the rest of her family members, I did not see a single post about a husband on her timeline. This makes me think that Chris was raised by an only mother, and this is why he has his autogynephilia

View attachment 1208868

I don't know whats funnier. The idea that she got sick, didn't respond to any well wishing messages, and then got mad that she didn't get any messages, or the fact that she is almost as unlikeable as her son that her manager/coworkers wouldn't contact her when she had a fucking stroke. Even my coworkers sent me messages when I caught the flu and was out for a week.

View attachment 1208871View attachment 1208872

Emery's sister(?), Aubrey Wagar, is also exceptional as hell. Honestly, at this point, I don't even blame Emery for being a weirdo degenerate. It's obviously her parent's fault for why her and her siblings are so fucked up.

View attachment 1208873

Finally, speaking of which, here is momma and papa Wagar (Sharon and Russ). I don't know what to say except you raised one hell of an exceptional daughter.

Honestly the funniest part about all of this is despite me spending an autistic amount of time looking at Facebook, I found literally nothing interesting about Emery. This bitch is so boring even her own thread is getting derailed and refocused to her boyfriend who likes wearing dresses. The most notable thing about Emery is the fact that she's absolutely surrounded by people who make her look like milquetoast by comparison

Yikes, that tooth to gum ratio.
 

Captain Hastings Official

"Good Lord..."
kiwifarms.net
Can we just appreciate is image;

our powerful anime queen outside playing make believe sword fights with spears and staffs whiles looking like this:
He acts like a ridiculous, over-the-top feminist caricature of masculinity. 'Mansplaining,' transparently ridiculous macho posturing, constant threats of violence, reducing women to fetishized articles of clothing...if I saw it in a work of fiction, I'd roll my eyes at how obvious the author was at grinding her axe. And he claims to be a woman, too! :story:
 
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