I'm going to unlock all the achievements.
Messages his e-gfsI just had a thought: What exactly does Ralph do after the show? Everyone knows he stays up until morning, sleeps until the afternoon, then does his show. He has no hobbies, doesn't read, I don't think he watches TV. Definitely doesn't play video games.
I think he has a crippling porn addiction. I'm not talking about "lol jcaesar187 DDDD!" I mean the guy gets drunk and spends eight hours on pornhub until he falls asleep crying at what he has become. This would explain why his entire life outside of the show is a black hole. All we know of him is when he seethes on Twitter or, more recently, shows up at these IRL events where he makes a complete fool of himself, often involving his perversions. I used to think he spent all his time on twitter or discord but it just doesn't add up.
Checks /cow/ 8kun
Refreshes his farms page (board)
Stumbles around looking for alcohol
Re lives his "glory days" when metokur appeared on his show
Are there any pictures of Ralph's room?
Almost every other cow has done a house tour
Based on the cans.wav I'd guess it looks like a room someone would post on 4 or 8chan