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World Ex-Iran military leader: Western nations use lizards to spy

Discussion in 'Articles & Happenings' started by CatParty, Feb 13, 2018.

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  1. https://nypost.com/2018/02/13/ex-iran-military-leader-western-nations-use-lizards-to-spy/

    ran’s former military leader leveled a cold-blooded charge Tuesday — that Western spooks used lizards to “attract atomic waves” as part of their espionage on his country’s nuclear program.

    Hassan Firuzabadi, top military adviser to leading mullah Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, was responding to questions from local journalists on the recent arrest of environmentalists.

    He said Western nations had often used tourists, scientists and environmentalists to spy on Iran.

    “Several years ago, some individuals came to Iran to collect aid for Palestine… We were suspicious of the route they chose,” he told the reformist ILNA news agency, the Times of Israel reported.

    “In their possessions were a variety of reptile desert species like lizards, chameleons… We found out that their skin attracts atomic waves and that they were nuclear spies who wanted to find out where inside the Islamic Republic of Iran we have uranium mines and where we are engaged in atomic activities,” he said.

    Firuzabadi, who noted that the spies “failed every time,” made his comments amid reports that Iranian-Canadian environmentalist Kavous Seyed Emami had committed suicide in prison after he was arrested along with other members of his wildlife group last month.

    Several spying allegations involving wildlife have been made against Israel in the past few years.

    In January 2016, Lebanese civilians captured a griffon vulture wearing an Israeli tracking device, but released it when they realized the gadget was meant for scientific research rather than espionage.

    Several months earlier, Hamas claimed to have caught a dolphin wearing Israeli spying equipment.

    Turkish media also have reported about allegations that birds tagged with Israeli university tracking devices were on spy missions.

    In 2012, an eagle with an Israeli tag was captured in Sudan and alleged to be a on a mission for the Jewish state’s Mossad spy agency.

    Two years earlier, an Egyptian official claimed sharks somehow controlled by Israel may have been involved in several attacks on tourists in the Red Sea.
     
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    CatParty

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  2. First reading the title, I thought the west had somehow managed to import lot lizards from America’s mid west, and they were used as spies. I was sadly wrong.
     
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    Rumpled Foreskin

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  3. We should continue to use lizards. Unlike our other agents, they're very effective and never get caught.
     
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    AnOminous

    AnOminous the funk of forty thousand years
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  4. no no no they are lizards c'mon hassan get your shit straight
     
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    Irwin M. Felcher

    Irwin M. Felcher immediate regret

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  5. More like Hassan Fruit-batty, if you ask me.
     
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    TowinKarz

    TowinKarz Are you not INTO TRAINS?!

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  6. The CIA niggers are at it again.
     
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    CIA Nigger

    CIA Nigger Herding the impotent docile herd of nigger cattle.

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  7. fixed
     
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    CatParty

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  8.  
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    Spicy Hog

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  9. The kebab know...alert the goyim.
     
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    Skyclaw

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  10. Why is the US government spying on @NoWatermellon
     
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    Fuck you jewish cunt

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  11. When I stared at the goat it stared back at me. This is how I found the abyss.
     
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    Piss Clam

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  12. so the iranians know about the lizard people as well i see
     
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    Deadwaste

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    ICametoLurk

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  13. I am not a spy.
     
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  14. No wonder why the West hates Iran, they know of the fact lizard people rule the world and even overthrew the reptilians ruling Iran back in '79. Allah doesn't want you to be a slave to reptilians, wake of sheeple!
     
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  15. This reminds me of a German comedy show I once watched where they had a sketch about lizards being trained bio-chemical terrorists for the sole purpose of murdering shitty C-list actors. Maybe the Krauts are just as woke as the Iranians.
     
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    Fougaro

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  16. Like, lot lizards or actual lizards?
     
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    Marvin

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  17. Yeah why are we spying on @NotWaddleMelon
     
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    NumberingYourState

    NumberingYourState Maintained Professionalism

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  18. In case of the German comedy show actual lizards.



    The scandal of the week!

    An increasing number of greasy C-list actors are murdered by sneaky reptiles in greenhouses.

    In the last six months alone over 680,000 Germans were killed by sneaky reptiles in greenhouses. And there may be an even higher number of unreported cases. The clueless victims are entrapped by the soft expressions of the funny prehistoric critters, also called the baby schema. The animals' strategy is as simple as it is perfidious. The victims are stalked upon in greenhouses in abysmal B-movies. The lizards are rigorously ensuring that their victims have an IQ of below 15 so that they can't escape. According to our information these animals are trained in the mountains of Pakistan and in Düren where they're formed into deadly weapons. We're leaving you with the following pictures alone for now.

    The final attack is executed with lightning speed. The victims are killed with an elaborate poisonous mixture

    If monitor lizards are really capable of closing doors, if geckos are capable of planning selective poison attacks and why this dumb bastard is walking into the poison cloud and then deeply inhales is for the time being unknown. And it remains this way. One thing is for certain: Join us! Stop cunning geckos and monitor lizards! Protect greasy C-list actors in shit movies! Now!
     
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    Fougaro

    Fougaro Flat acceptance activist

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