Explain the subgenres of heavy metal to me. -

Son of Odin

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There's also an old copypasta or joke that "explains" the difference with fairy tale tropes. It went something like
"Heavy metal is when the leather-clad prince rides in on a Harley-Davidson, downs a can of beer, chokes the dragon, then fucks the princess.
Doom metal is when the prince bores the dragon to death with his ultra-slow riffs. The princess too dies of boredom.
Progressive metal is when the prince bores the dragon to death with an hour-long solo devolving into pure insanity. The princess too dies of boredom.
Power metal is when the prince rides in on a unicorn, wearing a full plate polished to a mirror sheen. He defeats the dragon in an honorable duel to death, then rescues the princess.
and doesn't make sweet love to her, because he took an oath of purity.
Death metal is when the prince decapitates the dragon, drinks its blood, then murders the princess and rapes her corpse."
Black Metal: The prince slits the princess's throat, sacrifices her to Satan, then rides the dragon to go burn down the nearest church.
Folk Metal: The prince is a viking who slays the dragon, but then succumbs to his wounds and is taken by the valkyrie princess to Valhalla.
Stoner Metal: The dragon is just a drug-induced hallucination and the princess is actually an old grandma but the prince is too high to care.
Thrash Metal: The prince calls in an artillery strike on the dragon, which was grown in a lab by Nazis during WWII, from his mobile command center and then sends in the special forces paratroopers to rescue the princess from the medieval torture chamber she was being held in.
Christian/White Metal: God is on the prince's side as he slays the satanic dragon and preaches the gospel of Jesus Christ to the princess.
Metalcore: The prince screams how life isn't fair and then kills himself by slitting his wrists, the princess later does the same.
Crust Punk: The dragon is a metaphor for the government/corporations/the police and the princess a metaphor for unawakened sheeple who support The System™.
 

kcbbq

Don't trust the happy; the happy are insane.
kiwifarms.net
Black Metal: The prince slits the princess's throat, sacrifices her to Satan, then rides the dragon to go burn down the nearest church.
That's black metal, lower case b, you racist. Black metal, upper case B, sticks its head into the dragon's cave, shouts "Where all the white women at?", sees the princess, pops a cap in the dragon, fries it up like a giant chicken, and fattens up the princess because "dat ass", knocks her up, and leaves her and the little mulatto to be raised by the white prince.

It's a lonely genre covering Body Count and not much else.
 

moogetrooget

You better run better run.
kiwifarms.net
Industrial metal which is a combination of industrial music and metal. Very dark sound, usually political or emotional lyrics.
 
Heard them a few times, do they have a big following?
I just know them by name, because it's a pretty catchy band name. I got lost with newer metal too, but if you're into speedier stuff there's a revival of traditional heavy/speed metal going on, you can try looking around on this channel:

And while not exactly metal there are synthwave bands that incorporate a lot of heavy metal elements, Dance with the Dead is a pretty famous one:
 
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ISDwarnedus

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Metalheads can overthink genres, but I've seen enough arguments about whether some 80s indie rock album is proto-noise rock or proto-shoegaze to know it's unfair to act like metal is the single source of all genre autism.

Don't even get me started on all the electronic dance music sub-sub-genres
 
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