• “This website. Can be full of assholes.“

Law Florida man with no arms charged with stabbing Chicago touristFlorida Man finds a way.

Discussion in 'Articles & Happenings' started by ForgedBlades, Jul 11, 2018.

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  1. Incredible.


    A homeless artist who does not have arms stabbed a tourist by grabbing a pair of scissors with his feet, police say. Jonathan Crenshaw, 46, allegedly knifed the man on Miami’s South Beach Tuesday, with his victim claiming the attack happened after a visitor from Chicago asked for directions.

    Krenshaw has claimed that he defended himself after Cesar Coronado, 22, punched him in the head, but has now been charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon.

    According to the Miami New Times, Coronado told police that he was attacked while out for a walk with a female friend, shortly after asking Crenshaw for help. The extent of his injuries is unclear, but police believed his version of the story after that friend offered them the same version of events.

    Crenshaw is well-known for selling paintings drawn with his feet to tourists on Miami’s Lincoln Road mall. He has previous arrests for tresspassing, drunkenness and battering police. Crenshaw has remained tight-lipped on why he has no arms, but claimed to one reporter that his mother had fed him rat poison as a child.

    • Winner Winner x 37
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    ForgedBlades Milled wedges.

  2. Florida sub forum when ‽‽‽?‽?
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    True & Honest Fan

  3. Only in Florida.
    Seriously though, we need at least a community watch thread for Florida headlines.
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    Mister Loser

    Mister Loser The Man with No Plan

  4. It's the little details they put in that really makes these Florida posts shine.
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  5. Imagine surviving the daily warzone of Chiraq to take a relaxing vacation in sunny Florida, only to get stabbed by an armless man wielding scissors with his feet. Cosmic jokes are still alive and well.
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  6. Homeless?




    Truly Flordia Man is the world's most ingenious person.
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    ZeCommissar Lolcow-Executioner

  7. So I guess he wasn't truly "unarmed".

    I will see myself out.
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    PantsFreeZone Smartest monkey on the spinning space rock

  8. Armless but far from harmless.
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    MuuMuu Bunnylips

    MuuMuu Bunnylips The Greatest Space Pirate In The Universe. Really!

  9. Florida Man got some mad skillz
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    The Shadow

    The Shadow Kebabs on skewers

  10. And I thought the drummer from Def Leppard was talented...
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    Sword Fighter Super

    Sword Fighter Super I hope the princess made lotsah spaghetti!
    True & Honest Fan

  11. Awww, I was hoping he'd gone full Pirate and held a cutlass tween his teeth as he slashed up the guy....
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    TowinKarz Actually WILL Call Somebody.....

  12. Knifed the man with scissors. I know they can’t print “armless florida man scissors chicago tourist” but am I the only one who wishes they could?
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    Testaclese Maximus

    Testaclese Maximus has a full line of chainsaws
    True & Honest Fan

    • Winner Winner x 9
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    Alpha Loves You

    Alpha Loves You Today is a good day for Justice
    True & Honest Fan

  14. A mega thread would do it.
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    sperginity crescent fresh

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    Cilleystring Ariana doesn't care until u get ur legs blown off

  15. Truly nothing in this world or the next can stop Florida man.
    • Agree Agree x 9

    Ruin Mercenary Slut
    True & Honest Fan

  16. I actually respect this guy a little. No arms or hands but he still managed to stab a bitch.
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    Coldgrip You! Not you, the guy behind you. You're next.

  17. Doesn't matter how tough you are -- nothing can prepare you for Florida or Florida Man. I expect to see a future headline read "Legless Florida Man commits assault with own prosthetic leg"
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    Screen Shot 2018-07-12 at 8.08.46 AM.png
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    ICameToplaY かくれんぼ~

  19. Florida man is God.
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    big baby jesus

    big baby jesus Damn, I Wish I Was Barb's Lover
    True & Honest Fan

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