Game Gunts - What happens when you take a fat alcoholic with a dying show and watch him play video games where he sucks, doesn't say anything funny nor insightful, and can't be bothered to learn how to properly play?

Sam Losco

Local Moderator
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Ralph somehow makes video games more boring. If he wanted to be entertaining he should play retarded games and make fun of them. I'm sure you can just type furry or trans into steam and get something to riff on.

You're welcome for the idea Ralph.
He can't do that. Every time he streams it looks like it's a hassle and he'd rather be doing anything else.

If you want to know what'd it be like of he could do it and actually be funny, just go on YT and search for dolphin sounds.
 

Uberpenguin

Flightless Bird Agriculturalist
kiwifarms.net
Looking at the title I thought a DSP thread had gotten lost and wound up in the wrong subforum.

Anyways, I can imagine few figures I'd see as a worse candidate for streaming videogames than Ethan Ralph due to a combination of his chimpanzee-level intelligence, complete lack of improvisational skills, and drunken temper; I'm sure he also privately believes caring about videogames is for sad beta males, but I'd imagine he's just too lacking in creativity or interesting skills to think of anything else to do for extra cash to help him drink himself into the grave by his mid 40s.

Of course truth be told I'm not sure how all of the above didn't stop him from becoming popular anywhere outside of prison showers in the first place, but I guess some people just really like dimwitted rednecks with dwarfism and a voice that sounds like the screams of a dying rabbit.
 

Reversal

kiwifarms.net
I'd say "it'd be funny to watch Ralph fail miserably at monster hunter" but it probably won't even be funny bad. It'll just be boring, like the KillReport but with games. The only gameplay of Ralph's I've ever bothered to watch was the Jim vs Ralph bout and it was so pathetic to watch I never bothered to watch any of his other gaming stuff. I imagine he plays games like a woman does (bad and boring) which isn't even enjoyable to make fun of. It's just sad.
 

AltisticRight

Free 🌽 202 E 37th St VA, Richmond, 901-922-9912
Local Moderator
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
The kang of arcade games won't even accept my Tetris challenge.
 

RichardRApe

Pedophiles Hate Me - Learn My 1 Simple Trick
kiwifarms.net
He should rebrand to "OnlyUseMeGunt."
gumblade.gif
 

FuzzMushr00m

kiwifarms.net
Game suggestion: Urban Chaos, it's about a black female cop arresting thugs and creeps. Fun, easy, nice music, plenty of funny glitches and the lads could racesperg to their heart's content.
 

MeltyTW

kiwifarms.net
Over the past few years, Ralph's show has been dying surprisingly quick due to deplatforming, self-censorship, boring content, and Ralph's degenerate habits. We're starting to see Ralph game more, which is likely a ploy to get more money out of his paypigs - taking inspiration from DSP. This thread exists to archive and discuss his gaming streams and habits.
i disagree that deplatforming did anything to him, he had more viewers show up early on in his bannings to support him and he could have kept them with better content.

To the early 90s. Ralph claims to have been a local legend at the arcade, and said that he was once close to winning a town tournament before some other kid beat his high score last minute. He said this in the same stream where he had to replay Donut Plains 1 in Super Mario World a dozen times before beating it.
"you see that badass little midget over there? leaning on the cabinet almost tipping it backwards? that son of a bitch got the first goomba and he only died twice"
 

Ralphamale

kiwifarms.net
Game suggestion: Urban Chaos, it's about a black female cop arresting thugs and creeps. Fun, easy, nice music, plenty of funny glitches and the lads could racesperg to their heart's content.
Unironically if he did community picks for games it would be marvelous. However I've never seen him complete a game and he more than likely never has.
LEADER OF GAMER GATE, FAWK YEA! Ralph is the biggest reason gamergate turned into a trash ethots campaign rather fixing unethical bullshit in video game media. They could of actually accomplished something instead they all had to rage at any waman who disagreed (sometimes rightfully so) while appearing like a bunch of incel's to the majority of people.
 

MeltyTW

kiwifarms.net
They could of actually accomplished something instead they all had to rage at any waman who disagreed (sometimes rightfully so) while appearing like a bunch of incel's to the majority of people.
the problem they were trying to fix in gg wasnt thought out either, zoe got a feature for a shitty game that would have no players in a timeline without gg like it does now but because they wanted to sperg she got a bit more fame and clout. the games media is obscure and not really anything noteworthy either, all in all a complete shit show and really just an excuse for sad little rejected beta males like ethan to vent about being rejected by anita and zoe, really saved the white race though i guess lol.

Unironically if he did community picks for games it would be marvelous. However I've never seen him complete a game and he more than likely never has.
i demand a full 100 percent gunt playthrough of mario sunshine
 

Ralphamale

kiwifarms.net
the problem they were trying to fix in gg wasnt thought out either, zoe got a feature for a shitty game that would have no players in a timeline without gg like it does now but because they wanted to sperg she got a bit more fame and clout. the games media is obscure and not really anything noteworthy either, all in all a complete shit show and really just an excuse for sad little rejected beta males like ethan to vent about being rejected by anita and zoe, really saved the white race though i guess lol.


i demand a full 100 percent gunt playthrough of mario sunshine
Ralph being kicked out of that conference by Brianna Wu was hilarious. Him waddling out the beta male he is wounded that he was found out. How many tries do you reckon it would take Ralph to get the final blue coins in the lava where you have to move through the level in the canoe? I don't think he can honestly and that's not to mention the others. Even with a guide he would somehow fuck it all up as he struggles finding shines as it is when the intro to each shine shows you the basic premise of it. Miyamoto questioned if his own son was retarded during play testing of Mario 64 so he would up and commit seppuku if he ever seen Ralphamale playing.

I remember Ralph playing COD Modern Warfare and during team deathmatch he would constantly die over and over again while running around with a machine gun (sentry defense weapon) instead of using a sub machine gun or assault rifle. I think even DSP would beat Ethan Ralph in COD.
That was incredibly sad. His top game that session landed him around two kills and twenty give or take deaths. Blind niggas are better at Cod.
 

MeltyTW

kiwifarms.net
That was incredibly sad. His top game that session landed him around two kills and twenty give or take deaths. Blind niggas are better at Cod.
imagine trying to have a serious game and you get ralph as your teammate feeding the other team more than his own gunt and he calls you and your family niggers and gets belligerent if you tell him to stop and hide or something

Ralph being kicked out of that conference by Brianna Wu was hilarious. Him waddling out the beta male he is wounded that he was found out.
whats extra funny is iirc he wasnt doxed yet and she just immediately knew he was gamergater ethan ralph by picking the worst person out of the room lmfao, at least going by articles and comments at the time mocking him for looking just as youd picture a gamergate head looking like, (looking at you gaytor)
 
Unironically if he did community picks for games it would be marvelous. However I've never seen him complete a game and he more than likely never has.
LEADER OF GAMER GATE, FAWK YEA! Ralph is the biggest reason gamergate turned into a trash ethots campaign rather fixing unethical bullshit in video game media. They could of actually accomplished something instead they all had to rage at any waman who disagreed (sometimes rightfully so) while appearing like a bunch of incel's to the majority of people.
Community picks for video games would just turn into a Killstream Kohost multiplayer game of Hearts of Iron 4 with Gaytor as some South American nation, Rand, Dingo and CWC

come to think of it that would be hilarious
 
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