Guntology: A study of the Earth's most grizzled stomach - Discussion of the Gunt itself. What even is that thing??

Delicious Diversity

MAH SMILE AND OPTIMISM, GONE! HELP ME GAYDUR!
kiwifarms.net
This is a thread where we study Ethan Ralph's Gunt and try to understand as much as we can about a truly fascinating entity. I want discussion on gunt geometry, grease-fluid-dynamics, its biosphere, it's gravitational effects, quantum gunt mechanics etc.

Let's figure out what the fuck this thing is and how it works.


Guntology.png
 
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Curious Addie

kiwifarms.net
I am particularly interested in the position of the navel. As we all know, over time and due to gravity and the elastic nature of flesh the gunt steadily stretches slowly and inexorably downward. My hypothesis is that guntal growth occurs in the pendulous lower tip, similar to the meristem of a plant. And like a mark on the outer bark of a tree, the navel will remain in the same position relative to the skeleton despite not being anchored to the viscera. Hopefully in Tampa we will obtain the shirtless footage necessary to confirm my theory.
 

AnOminous

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Retired Staff
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My opinion is it is actually a giant ball-less scrotum. The world will end if it ever gets the testicles of the blind idiot god implanted into it, grows a demonic penis, and impregnates a whale or something.

The Demon Baby will have nothing on that.

Seriously though look at the gunt. It looks exactly like a fucking scrotum. I've seen numerous fatasses and their revolting bellies. Never mind why. None of them look like this weirdass thing Ralph has going on.
 

ElAbominacion

😭😭😭😭😤😤
kiwifarms.net
I believe we are missing the forest for the trees. In this case, we need to look at its function, rather than what it is. We'll never know what it is until the gunt is bissected by the coroner.

I believe its main function is to act as a reservoir of viruses, bacteria and other parasites, and in particular, it is accumulating Coof strains to a degree unsurmountable by any computing device known to man, at present.

Perhaps it is mixing with his Super AIDS to create an even more aggressive strain of coronavirus.
 

Old Man Mario

The ladies used to call me Jumpman
kiwifarms.net
I've seen a belly similar to the Gunt. My old neighbor was rocking it. Let's compare the Gunt to this man who is a good guy despite his overwhelmingly large droopy belly. Let's look for common denominators and see what makes this oddity real.

Things in common:
-It hangs low out of shirts.
-Both have zero physical activity.
-Both eat cheap and unhealthy food
-Gross living conditions
-Poor Hygiene

Things I am fairly certain both have in common but can't confirm:
-Heart Conditions
-Diabetic
-Face and gunt appear to be only fat parts

Differences:
-Ethan is 5'1 Neighbor is 6'2
-Ethan is an alcoholic pill popper. This guy is always sober.

Perhaps with enough data about other hanging gunts we can discover what makes them and artificially grow one of Ethan Ralph quality to strap on to our troops as cheap bullet proof vests.
 

Fish-Eyed Fool

I'll point my finger at your nose
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I am particularly interested in the position of the navel. As we all know, over time and due to gravity and the elastic nature of flesh the gunt steadily stretches slowly and inexorably downward. My hypothesis is that guntal growth occurs in the pendulous lower tip, similar to the meristem of a plant. And like a mark on the outer bark of a tree, the navel will remain in the same position relative to the skeleton despite not being anchored to the viscera. Hopefully in Tampa we will obtain the shirtless footage necessary to confirm my theory.

I believe the belly button to be the most fascinating aspect of the gunt and may indeed be what is responsible for the deformed shape and the way the skin seems to pull down and inward, creating the classical semi-labial appearance. My hypothesis is that it actually is a minor Schwartzchild singularity, kept in stasis by the counter gravitational forces of the surrounding body mass and tissue. It would be very difficult to maintain, given the tendency of black holes to evaporate as they leak Hawking radiation, but Ethan may be maintaining a certain level of caloric and alcoholic intact to ensure the hole's stability and continued growth. To what end, I do not know, however, I suspect he grows it as a possible defense mechanism to counter some sort of existential environmental threat he calls an "ay-logg". Further research to support this would of course need to be conducted.
 

AnOminous

μολὼν λαβέ
True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
kiwifarms.net
I believe its main function is to act as a reservoir of viruses, bacteria and other parasites, and in particular, it is accumulating Coof strains to a degree unsurmountable by any computing device known to man, at present.

Perhaps it is mixing with his Super AIDS to create an even more aggressive strain of coronavirus.
Is it a Blessing of Nurgle? When it achieves maximum biohazard load, will it split open, spilling out intestines and releasing horrific diseases into the world?
 

ElAbominacion

😭😭😭😭😤😤
kiwifarms.net
Is it a Blessing of Nurgle? When it achieves maximum biohazard load, will it split open, spilling out intestines and releasing horrific diseases into the world?
It might burst open, spreading a fountain of blood like an aerosol in a 10 foot radius of highly virulent strains of whatever is in his guts. So Covid, possibly super E. coli and an airborne form of HIV (from his now repressed love for getting cucked by black strangers), chiefly.
 
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