How does one "ironically" kill themselves?

SandyCat

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True & Honest Fan
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Apr 15, 2021
I've been told to unironically kill myself which seems to imply there is a way to ironically kill yourself. How dones one ironically commit no longer life?
 

Grub

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Joined
Jul 2, 2021

Suicide by molten iron.
On November 6, 1854, 28-year-old George Towler, who worked at the Farnley Iron Company, chose a rather thorough and stunning method of suicide. Standing near a furnace filled with 50 tonnes (55 tons) of molten iron, Towler took a last look around the workplace then calmly jumped into the liquid metal.
For iron to melt, it has to reach temperatures in excess of 2800°F (1538°C). It was said that all that was able to be recovered from the orange-hot iron was a portion of charred bone. This was all that remained of Towler to be buried at the church of St. Michael in the Farnley district of West Yorkshire, England.
 

Ophelia Jones

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Apr 11, 2021
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Just take the whole bottle all at once.
 

Manul Otocolobus

Angriest Feline in the World
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Nov 2, 2021
You pretend like you're going to kill yourself with a shotgun in your mouth, then at the last second you say "Just kidding, fuckers! I'm going to live to be 90 just to spite you assholes" You then stand up, trip over the butt of the shotgun, and blow your head off.
 

Boris Blank's glass eye

I just play vicious games.
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Joined
Feb 13, 2020
  1. Survive some kind of potentially terminal illness or condition - cancer, AIDS, Wu Flu, Ebola, whatever you like
  2. Celebrate your survival: throw a huge party, invite a bunch of people
  3. Mistakenly drink from an unlabeled bottle containing poison, bleach, Turpentine, freshly distilled moonshine full of methanol, or any other kind of poisonous/toxic liquid
  4. Die
Congratulations, you've killed yourself in ironic fashion. Bit long to set everything up but the payoff is a real killer.