JUNIUS_64 / Nicole / Nick Cieslik / JuniusK9 / StickersTehHusky / terminal-dogma / Fluffy Pegasus - Mentally Ill FTM Troon babyfur zoophile college social justice warrior alien-dog skunk horse fennec

F

FP 208

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Love 'em or hate 'em you have heard of them: Junius is a polarizing and popular figure in the furry fandom and a notable figure on the animal control board having over 50 mentions on the farms across a multitude of furry threads due to her own antics and her interactions with other lolcows.
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Her FA bio claims she has been a member of the furry fandom since 2008 and in the past decade she has amassed 150K tweets on twitter, 300+ submissions on furaffinity on her defunct account, and an additional 75 on her current account.

In real life her wikifur, which she has edited herself in the past, claims she has owned atleast 5 fursuits and worn them to furry conventions. In addition, in her real life she is a transgender (or transtrender if you prefer) Female to Male troon.

Mental Illness
An early insight into her mental illness comes from a journal entry from their earliest defunct furaffinity account StickersTehHusky https://archive.md/m0FmF
so um
yeah i've sort of been letting my messages sit and rot haven't i
i apologize for that, i'll probably just delete the bulk of the journals and submissions without sifting through them u.u

well uh mental illness is sort of destroying my life -_-
as some of you may know i suffer from severe depression and anxiety, and have for the full duration of my teenage and preteen years, plus some of my childhood. the first time i ever tried to end my life, i was 12 or 13, and i've been living with panic attacks since i was 9 years old.
i really don't know what i can do about it
my mom pretty much blames me for it, i heard her trash-talking me when we went to see my therapist on Monday. she was like "Nicole doesn't do things to make herself happy, she just sits around and sulks" and "she needs to try and care about other people if she wants to make more friends".
my mom means well, but she's utterly clueless about the situation :/

i really try to make myself happy. the other day i went out with friends and we got pizza, it was actually pretty nice for a couple hours. then i got home and things deteriorated as per usual, i just can't hold onto whatever happiness i make for myself.

my therapist has pretty much said that her hands are tied and she can't do much for me in this situation. she's stated that it's highly likely that i have a chemical imbalance in my brain and that's why it's imperative that i seek psychiatric help. unfortunately, my dad's insurance barely covers anything in the neighborhood of mental health and my family does not have much money. so we found the cheapest available option that our insurance would work with us on, and waited and waited for an appointment. we've been waiting about 2 months and the appointment is this coming Tuesday. and my dad keeps making me guilty about how much it's costing us... i was pretty crushed to hear that he was going to buy himself an android tablet but now that money has to go to my appointment. my dad works really really hard and i think he deserves to get himself nice things, i feel pretty awful about disrupting that. x.x

the last 2 or 3 months have not been kind to me. it all started when school started, really, everything has been going to hell since.
so far i've been put on suicide watch twice (and my mom ignored it both times, at one point i believe she left me alone for 4 hours), my school tried to force my parents to take me to a psychiatric hospital but they just brought me home because they didn't have money to pay for it, i've been sacrificing my happiness and sanity for the sake of good grades, my friendships and ties with family have been deteriorating severely, i haven't talked to my girlfriend in like a week, i've been crying almost nonstop, i'm fairly sure i've gained weight from emotional overeating and poor sleep, all food except junk food tastes like cardboard to me and nothing is as funny as it used to be, and i can't stop thinking about suicide and self harm. it's a 24/7 mental loop, it never really stops, from when i wake up to when i fall asleep it's the central thing on my mind. today i'm about 100% sure i would have cut myself if my mom didn't hide my knife, and i'm still intent on finding it.

i used to say i wouldn't kill myself before college. then i said i wouldn't kill myself before i got my driver's license. then i said i wouldn't kill myself before anthrocon 2013. then i said i wouldn't kill myself before Evangelion Rebuild 3.0 came out in the states. but now i think all bets are off.

right now i think my main source of anxiety and mental anguish is honors chemistry. i have a fucking 95 in the class, but it's costing me my health and sanity to maintain it and i lie awake at night anxious and terrified over the class. i have a quiz and 2 assignments due in honors chemistry on Monday, both assignments were assigned today. she literally gave us homework over Thanksgiving break, a big visual project and a terrible amount of textbook questions at that. i feel like the material is zipping past me and i'm impressing it into my head as fast as possible just to pass. i'm learning nothing and i'm bound to fail the midterm, and i can just FEEL the condescending "haha you're an idiot" glances from everyone in the class when the teacher introduces a new concept and i'm just sitting there shaking in terror and dabbing at my eyes with the fabric of my shirt. i'm just desperate not to let any of them see me cry.

but i can't bring myself to drop the class. my grade is so good, and i worked so hard to get here. it's living hell every day, the entire rest of my classes are manageable but that one class destroys EVERYTHING, but i just CAN'T drop the class. if i drop it all i'll have left is honors English. no college wants a kid who's dropped out of 3 different honors classes (i dropped honors history at the beginning of this year and the beginning of last year, god i fucking hate myself). plus i feel like i'm not successful unless i'm suffering for it.

all i know is that right now, dying seems like the only option, and it looks merciful as hell compared to the alternatives.

"Tinker, tailor, soldier, sailor, my bullet punishes all without distinction!" -Rip Van Winkle (Hellsing character)

"Wer mit Ungeheuern kämpft, mag zusehn, dass er nicht dabei zum Ungeheuer wird. Und wenn du lange in einen Abgrund blickst, blickt der Abgrund auch in dich hinein." (Nietzsche, _Jenseits von Gut und Böse_, section 146, entire.)
More recent mental illness comes in the form of random public breakdowns and self-loathing on twitter like these:
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Junius claims to have polycystic ovary syndrome and thinks this makes her "endocrinologically intersex" - https://kiwifarms.net/threads/leftist-communist-antifa-furry-general.33353/page-12#post-2631202

PCOS complications tend to flare up when you're fat. Hormones go out of whack and women can grow facial hair because of it.

I guess she thinks her poor health = I'm intersex! - https://kiwifarms.net/threads/leftist-communist-antifa-furry-general.33353/page-12#post-2631902

Trooning Out
Junius' idea of a transition is basically cutting her hair short. When called out on their poor transition they tried to duck it by saying they try to look/dress "agender"
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Ageplay / Diapers / Zoophilia
This stuff comes from some commissioned art of theirs in diapers as a baby and their fetish list "f-list" with zoophilia as a Yes and Diapers and Ageplay as a Fave
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College
Junius attends Rutgers University of New Brunswick the flagship state school of NJ. She studies microbiology. She managed to get quoted in the school papers a couple times over facebook complaining

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https://news.rutgers.edu/sites/medrel/files/news-clips/Power back on at rutgers cook douglas campuses.pdf
http://archive.md/joWTI

Social Justice Warrior
Junius has over 150 THOUSAND tweets sometimes eclipsing 300 tweets a day.
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https://socialblade.com/twitter/user/junius_64/monthly
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one random example (there are thousands out there)

They also enjoy interacting with other lolcows like the bowlcut catfucker
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/crusader-cat-paden-reilly-pawden.36070/
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http://archive.md/upMem

Dating
They are currently dating dogmerps a boston MTF troon furry.

They previously dated "Aurastar Taijiya"







Lastly, they are aware of kiwifarms so keep that in mind when making new posts to archive them.
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Thanks to @Cuddly Pirate @gracious bobbly bits for providing a lot of quoted material above and others for their collaborative effort aswell. Special Thanks goes to @Meowthkip !
 
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Sylvie Paula Paula

He's wasting his life and killing his body
kiwifarms.net
Of course this guy's from New Jersey, lol. That's probably why the dog fursona is so mutated - it's what living there does to you.

The face behind the fur looks a bit too familiar for comfort though... :thinking:

I don't know if I overlooked everything in the OP, but this person doesn't look like they're having fun. The most emotion he could get was a half-hearted grin in the fourth picture down in the persona pics spoiler tab. Looks like an emotionless husk of a person.

That's what being a furry does to you. It drains you of all will to live.
 

Meowthkip

Danny Devito holding a painting of a Sonichu OC
Global Moderator
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Junius had a previous thread that was in the Tumblr subforum but got shuffled around and now I don't know where it is, nor can I find it.

That screenshot Junius shared is from the old thread.
 
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billydero

Not An Ally
kiwifarms.net

I always feel this vague sense of dread, when I find a trainwreck furry that's in or trying to get into some field of science.

And that never-really-smiles thing Junius has got going on there - yeah, seen that. That just clinging to every little fun moment because the rest of their life sucks look. Hm, or perhaps it's the "I know I'm ostracizing myself and making my life 100% harder by being a weird furry but it's the only thing I know how to be" look, I've seen that too.
 

The Manglement

kiwifarms.net
I really couldn't tell from the first picture if this was a shitty, unconvincing MTF or a shitty, unconvincing FTM. It turns out it's a lady who wants to be a cyborg teddy bear that's also a TV. I give up, Internet. You win.

Edit: On further review, she's a lady who used to date a different lady who wants to be a TV cyborg teddy bear. All these fucking weirdos look the same.
 
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F

FP 208

Guest
kiwifarms.net
So digging more into mental illness I came across that time Junius was live tweeting going to a mental hospital for suicidal ideation

NOV 8TH 2016: Part 1 The Suicidal Moping on Twitter


NOV 8TH 2016: Part 2 The Ambulance Call Anger


NOV 8TH 2016: Part 3 At The Hospital



NOV 8TH 2016: Part 4 Going Up The Stairs

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NOV 14TH 2016: Part 5 Gone Home

and thats where the live tweeting story concludes. Personally, I'm disappointed it didn't end with the Fresh Prince of Bel Air copypasta.
 
F

FP 208

Guest
kiwifarms.net
So did Junius ever apologize to the person that was rightfully concerned for their safety or...?

No, I do not believe they ever apologized to that person. I also don't believe that person was openly identified either. She does use "apologize" as a word in her vocabulary a lot and here is the big gap between the time of the event and its passing. She also didn't issue a "general apology" and she's done that for other things so I don't think she appreciates their effort.
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She was still over a year later fighting her parents (a common theme) and using the event as ammunition against them

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http://archive.md/CYAj4
 

SpaceRanger

kiwifarms.net
I really couldn't tell from the first picture if this was a shitty, unconvincing MTF or a shitty, unconvincing FTM. It turns out it's a lady who wants to be a cyborg teddy bear that's also a TV. I give up, Internet. You win.

Edit: On further review, she's a lady who used to date a different lady who wants to be a TV cyborg teddy bear. All these fucking weirdos look the same.

Pretty much every Furries fursona looks like a genetic experiment gone wrong.

I don't get it, how do you go from liking cute characters like Simba and the fox from robin hood to wanting to be a mutant neon dog who wishes for the sweet release of death every waking moment.
 

CIA Nigger

Not a fed, just a random object on the street.
True & Honest Fan
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Pretty much every Furries fursona looks like a genetic experiment gone wrong.

I don't get it, how do you go from liking cute characters like Simba and the fox from robin hood to wanting to be a mutant neon dog who wishes for the sweet release of death every waking moment.
Not only do most furries suck ass at character design, but a lot of furries go into the design process thinking "what if this fursona could be me" with both creativity and the design aspect of the character, meaning they go all out on putting in as much stupid shit as possible. They also tend to have characters that fit into a design template (bipedal with human proportions).

Combined with the whole "Be yourself" idea of the LGBTBBQ movement, this leads to ugly neon abominations, with as much snowflakey shit as possible. Junius's fursona is a great example of the worst of furry character design, from the eyes down to the genitalia. There's a reason "better" furry artists also tend to have less spergy fursonas, because they tend to know what character design works and what is crap they're only drawing because someone gave them money to draw.
 

Jaiman

pink pastel equine enthusiast
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CIA Nigger

Not a fed, just a random object on the street.
True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
kiwifarms.net
oh I remember her talking about this whole thing again during the Furpocalypse drama. tl;dr furfags got mad because a Halloween furry con had an asylum theme.
No Junius, you were held there because you were openly talking on the internet how you wanted to off yourself over something as silly as the presidential election.
 
F

FP 208

Guest
kiwifarms.net
Some updates:

"15% body mass" Weight Loss:
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http://archive.md/Crz0d


Anxiety ahead of going to "Anthro NorthEast" furry con craving THC
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http://archive.md/XBxir

Thoughts on life and death
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http://archive.md/mV8Dr

This one will be a good amount of screencaps so I'll spoiler the chain, but Junius has a conflict concerning college with her parents and her own life about "not living up to expectations" going to rutgers, the state public flagship of new jersey compared to going to a private college in the ivy league especially princeton as she was born in Princeton, New Jersey:
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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/University_Medical_Center_of_Princeton_at_Plainsboro
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http://archive.md/mLTmI
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http://archive.md/v9QsX

While she may not live there she does spend a lot of time in princeton, which makes sense given its proximity and charm as an affluent small college town with unique eating and shopping destinations. PREX is https://www.yelp.com/biz/princeton-record-exchange-princeton even has a wiki https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Princeton_Record_Exchange
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http://archive.md/ZByUx




First off lets start with a big ego tweet from a few days ago "I got accepted everywhere I applied to" humblebrag, but circumstances prevented me from taking the opportunity.
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http://archive.md/4SoUc

Now lets wind the clock back to "I was a gifted child." and then depression
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http://archive.md/MeYvl

more depression and self-reflection
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http://archive.md/w2gcV

parental pressure:
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http://archive.md/Cfzgo


parents settle
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http://archive.md/53xIw


and then here is the crucial one where icarus flies too close to the sun and has his wings melted off
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http://archive.md/CGL8n

Pre College Summer Courses/Programs are an infamous scam prestigious schools including harvard/yale/princeton etc all run where you pay thousands of dollars for community college-tier classes on the "allure" of name brand prestige with no offerings of attendance for the actual college fall/winter school semesters/quarters. It's basically expensive summer camp for optimistic fools who want to pretend to have an ivy league experience. Here's a good article on the exact subject http://www.businessinsider.com/pre-college-summer-programs-are-a-waste-2014-4 . Still this shows that Junius DID APPLY to an ivy school in this case princeton who not only rejected her, but took her for a sucker and offered her summer camp, which she to her credit refused.

Now spurned by an ivy here come over the last few years the bitter tweets on the subject:
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http://archive.md/93Wuz
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http://archive.md/kNhFR
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http://archive.md/GZTYM
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http://archive.md/WWydx
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http://archive.md/qKwFF
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http://archive.md/TvP66

big rant and note this is 2016 2 years after their rejection so enough internet time passed for them to try to spin doctor
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http://archive.md/n3Kvz

even in 2015 only one year after the rejection she was still realistic about the refusal and not spindoctoring
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http://archive.md/peTjT


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http://archive.md/ieZjo

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http://archive.md/qAhoW
 
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