Musicians that are also Lolcows? -

Dysnomia

Dango whore
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Former Skid Row frontman Sebastian Bach is losing his mind. Crazy rants, fighting with people in Blabbermouth comments, Twitter slapfight with William Shatner, filming himself driving under the influence, DRUM HUT!. I don't think he's on the path to death. But meth is a powerful drug man. It doesn't help that he is a perpetual 14 year old Kisstard.
 

Syaoran Li

Oh, What a Night! Late December back in '63!
True & Honest Fan
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The Clash
Crass
Jello Biafra
GG Allin
Ministry
Billie Joe Armstrong
Andrew Eldritch
Sid Vicious
Seth Putnam

Wait a minute...

Actually, let's just save ourselves some time and say "Every punk or goth musician not named The Ramones, Siouxsie Sioux, or Voltaire"


Other musicians I'd consider to be massive lolcows...

Varg Vikernes
Kanye West
Britney Spears
Madonna
Vanilla Ice
Insane Clown Posse
Taylor Swift
Cledus T. Judd
Sebastian Bach
Axl Rose
Bjork
David Crosby

Then you've got the third category of people who either blur the lines between "massive lolcow" and "brilliant troll" or blur the line between "total sperg and borderline lolcow" and "musical genius"

For the former group, I've already mentioned GG Allin, Seth Putnam, and Andrew Eldritch (though Eldritch seems a lot more self-aware once he got off the speed and the meth) and Negative XP.

(There's a reason why he did that Ramona Flowers song in a punk style, and it was because he knew it'd piss off the Woke Left...)

The latter group of "spergy lolcows that were also musical geniuses" would include guys like Carter Stanley, Jim Morrison, Tim Wilson, John Lennon, and Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Musicians who turned out to be horrorcows would include Charles Manson, Bing Crosby, Absurd, some of the Memphis horror rappers from the 90's, Bard Faust, R. Kelly, and Ike Turner.
 

Scarlett Johansson

I gave birth to Cosmo. Disney still attacked me.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
The Clash
Crass
Jello Biafra
GG Allin
Ministry
Billie Joe Armstrong
Andrew Eldritch
Sid Vicious
Seth Putnam

Wait a minute...

Actually, let's just save ourselves some time and say "Every punk or goth musician not named The Ramones, Siouxsie Sioux, or Voltaire"


Other musicians I'd consider to be massive lolcows...

Varg Vikernes
Kanye West
Britney Spears
Madonna
Vanilla Ice
Insane Clown Posse
Taylor Swift
Cledus T. Judd
Sebastian Bach
Axl Rose
Bjork
David Crosby

Then you've got the third category of people who either blur the lines between "massive lolcow" and "brilliant troll" or blur the line between "total sperg and borderline lolcow" and "musical genius"

For the former group, I've already mentioned GG Allin, Seth Putnam, and Andrew Eldritch (though Eldritch seems a lot more self-aware once he got off the speed and the meth) and Negative XP.

(There's a reason why he did that Ramona Flowers song in a punk style, and it was because he knew it'd piss off the Woke Left...)

The latter group of "spergy lolcows that were also musical geniuses" would include guys like Carter Stanley, Jim Morrison, Tim Wilson, John Lennon, and Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Musicians who turned out to be horrorcows would include Charles Manson, Bing Crosby, Absurd, some of the Memphis horror rappers from the 90's, Bard Faust, R. Kelly, and Ike Turner.
Kate Bush I've decided isn't an lolcow after all. She's certainly unique but she also is just living her life making music. She never went away and I wouldn't call her reclusive. She did the tour and she raised her son and rereleased her entire catalog of music.

She might have seemed like an lolcow when she debuted but...that's the industry's fault.

Britney Spears had a mental breakdown and the industry abused her. Not to mention the stage mom and her dad's awful conservatorship. Technically I don't consider her one either. Definitely in the mid-2000s though.

Lauryn Hill is a major lolcow.
 

Save the Loli

kiwifarms.net
I'd also list Dave Mustaine who, upon getting fired from Metallica, said he'd start a better trash metal band, but he did actually succeed. In the same vein, every "metal/punk grandpas" band.
He also spent many decades doing every drug known to man, getting into lots of slapfights with other rock and metal musicians, chasing every trend known to man, screaming at some black metal bands because he became a born again Christian, and nowadays is best known as an Alex Jones fanboy. And at the end of the day, he still failed at being bigger than Metallica.
 

Boris Blank's glass eye

And just for you I have a spoon
kiwifarms.net
He also spent many decades doing every drug known to man, getting into lots of slapfights with other rock and metal musicians, chasing every trend known to man, screaming at some black metal bands because he became a born again Christian, and nowadays is best known as an Alex Jones fanboy. And at the end of the day, he still failed at being bigger than Metallica.
To be fair, the first part also applies to Alice Cooper and a fair number of other musicians as well. By his own admission, AC just can't remember the second half of the '70s and the first half of the '80s.
Then again, he might be bullshitting. I wouldn't want to remember Lace and Whiskey either.
As for "being bigger than Metallica", that's not necessarily a bad thing when Hetfield&co. produced such garbage as St. Anger, Death Magnetic, and fucking Lulu.
 

Quantum Diabetes

Kiwifarts.com
True & Honest Fan
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You can barely call him a musician but Henry Rollins gets more Sjw and less funny every year. His early spoken word was great, super offensive and now he's like pure leftist propoganda.

Not to mention every movie he's been in, ever. "He never died." You mean "He never learned an ounce of acting skill."

I think alot of lonely people hang onto his type of cringe from 18 to 24 and then realize it's every bit as manufactured as anything else.
I got tickets to a spoken word show back in '09 and finally saw what longterm Rollins fans looked like. You ever see that episode of "Tng" where Riker fucked that nonbinary alien? Yeah.
I recall when a failed competitor to one of the lad mags launched one of their very first letter columns had a potential fan begging them to never feature his lame ass. I think they did.
It was a hybrid of Maxim and Wizard type content iirc.
 

Islamic Creampie

kiwifarms.net
Ron Sword of Last Sacrament. Monster guitar player that was somewhat known a few years back for being one of the few artists to use microtonal guitars. Prone to massive political chimpouts online, threatening people and obsessively harassing people that mock him, makin up fake stories about how badass he is, etc.

He had one of the greatest freakouts I'd ever seen a few years ago when he got busted bootlegging merch of another band and got called out for it by one of the members. It's too many screen shots to pot here, so I'll just drop the link to the old forum where it was put up.

 
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