Ralph the Fitness Expert - fit'n this dick

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Null

Ooperator
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Nov 14, 2012
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ralph swam three laps in an olympic swimming pool at 0.75 feet / second and walked my daily grocery run

he's going with the cardio workout so he can slim down to that femboy physique may wants


some vintage gunt fitness advice:
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"How I lost 50 pounds in 2 months"
https://archive.md/HswwL

His secret was he stopped drinking.
 
Last edited:

Mr E. Grifter

Patricidal contributor to the Ralph Retort.
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Joined
Feb 4, 2020
View attachment 1927282

ralph swam three laps in an olympic swimming pool at 0.75 feet / second and walked my daily grocery run

he's going with the cardio workout so he can slim down to that femboy physique may wants
An average walking pace is a mile in 15 minutes. He went for a bumble for 20 minutes and counted that as a workout?

Using his distance, pace, activity, time and calories burnt it may be possible to figure out his weight.
 

Tapeduck76

Cool story mate
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Feb 16, 2021
i would love to be able to understand Ethan's thought process. How brain damaged do you have to consider that a workout?
He thinks that when something shows up on his fitbit it means that he accomplished something. he's one of those people that rapidly refreshes their fitbit's step counts so that he can see the little ticker move up and up. when it moves a quarter of a micrometer, he is fatigued and says "that's good enough".
It's fat logic.
Daily grocery run... uh oh lads, Jersh is becoming a Eurofag.
>not going to the local farmers market to support local businesses daily
NGMI
Ralph wants in on Amberlynn's weight loss grift.
He will never be as... uh.. successful..... as she is with her grift. he's far too flakey to do it
 

Trappin in the Trap

You really let the abyss stare back unto you? Ew.
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Feb 1, 2020
It's almost like Ralph is at the point where anything besides drinking and flapping his jowls will cause him to lose weight. Bets on Ralph actually getting in shape within the next 3 years? I think he'll peak at a fatter version of Alex Jones.
 

Pale Empress

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jul 5, 2019
Why Gunt is even Verified on twatter? could be a fed situation like AF?
Twitter was much more liberal with their policies regarding checkmarks, I remember Ralph mentioning he submitted his application for it with no expectations and was surprised that he qualified. Bear in mind this was back when Goobergrape was still relevant and The Ralph Retort was something people actually read (or at least pretended to read).
 

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