Ralph's Health - Take bets on how long he has to live

Papa Adolfo's Take'n'Bake

It's screamin' good.
kiwifarms.net
I see three scenarios:

Acts like a fucking degenerate in public while out of his mind on the usual (or off some back-alley shit in jail), talks some shit, starts some shit, winds up dead. Not the most likely scenario but I think it's plausible.

OD's on pills, which I think is the most likely short-term cause of death that can be predicted. It just takes a little too much of one spiked pill and the gunt gets beached by fentanyl.

A pathetic cling to life as the long-form suicide that is his lifestyle leaves him a bloated, rotten corpse, unclaimed and discovered only because neighbors complain of the smell. This is the long-term, saving the white race and being a grand old fathet that dies unknoen and unwanted in a crackshack while living off welfare.
 

Aum

I googled it
kiwifarms.net
I'm genuinely worried about Ethan right now. He has a lot of warning flags flying atm. If a person's mental health really relies on these four concept pillars he's fucked.



Mental: Drugs, alcohol, poor impulse control, aggressive behavior, severe depression.
Physical: Poor diet, lack of exercise, obesity, alcoholism related disease, heart disease
Social: Recently divorced, just broke up with gf/baby momma, alienating and losing more friends, Mother/Roommate is in poor health.
Spiritual: lol

I get that many people ironically and unironically want him to die but I don't. I would much rather see Ethan get his life sorted out and grow in to a man. No person is beyond redemption, not even Ethan. It's never too late to save your own life @theralph .
The Gunt's biggest health problems right now are definitely mental and social. His alcoholism, drug abuse, and unhealthy sex habits are all results of neurotic problems which he has to deal with first. He has to cope or he will seethe himself to death.
 

draggs

Kyle Avgvstvs, Antifvs Maximvs. AVE KYLE
kiwifarms.net
As long as he doesnt OD on a mix of booze and droogz he probably has about 5 years before serious health problems begin, 5 more before they start seriously debilitating him, and 5-10 after that before death. Late 30s early 40s is usually when obese addicts start the big downhill slide physically. Then modern medical science keeps them wheezing along for another decade or two.
 

Blancmange

More custard than man.
kiwifarms.net
As the walls close in on him over the next year or so his behavior will become increasingly reckless until he dies of a drug overdose. It won't be suicide, just a suicidal disregard for his own safety. Doing some jail time for failure to pay child support will delay this process but I think it is the inevitable outcome.
 

Aum

I googled it
kiwifarms.net
Ralph won't have any booze if he goes to prison.
According to webmd the symptoms of alcohol withdrawl are:
  • [*]Anxiety
    [*]Shaky hands
    [*]Headache
    [*]Nausea
    [*]Vomiting
    [*]Insomnia
    [*]Sweating
    And the worst of all, Delerium Tremens, which he probably won't get at this stage in his addiction. Lucky him.
    • [*]Confusion
      [*]Racing heart
      [*]High blood pressure
      [*]Fever
      [*]Heavy sweating


Will the Gunt survive the slammer?
 

TriggerMeElmo

kiwifarms.net
Ralph won't have any booze if he goes to prison.
According to webmd the symptoms of alcohol withdrawl are:
  • [*]Anxiety
    [*]Shaky hands
    [*]Headache
    [*]Nausea
    [*]Vomiting
    [*]Insomnia
    [*]Sweating
    And the worst of all, Delerium Tremens, which he probably won't get at this stage in his addiction. Lucky him.
    • [*]Confusion
      [*]Racing heart
      [*]High blood pressure
      [*]Fever
      [*]Heavy sweating

Will the Gunt survive the slammer?
He's done it before. Also, I believe that prison doctors will actually help with this by providing benzos (lol) but he's going to have no such access if he's just merely in jail.
 

Truly Rural

Helping the Homeless, one undead at a time
kiwifarms.net
Assuming nothing extreme happens, no drug ODs, no suicide, cancer, coof or accidents etc if Ralph just continued being Ralph it might very well stretch out couple of decades. But I don't see him live past his 50's, 6th decade too often is the last decade for many healthy men, I don't expect Ralph to survive it.

In one of his IRL streams with May, he said that he is not drinking much "only a few drinks, not a lot". The problem is that "few drinks" is alot by normal people's standard. For Ralph "few" doesn't even count as drinking. The only time a few drinks is not much is if it's days apart from the other few drinks. Sure most of non alcoholics can and will occasionally drink more than a few drinks, and get wasted, but that's the point at which Ralph's drinking begins to "count" every single day. The worst thing that can happen is him being left alone with nobody to nag and to try to keep him in check, and have any kind of expectations from him. Nagging would fail but it could prolong his life a few insignificant years by providing a motive for him to try and control the amount he drinks more often than he would be motivated to do on his own. Without the motivation to limit his alcohol intake (aka knowing that his existence means nothing to nobody) he'll very quickly come to the point (2 years maybe) when he no longer has the ability to sober up without triggering alcohol withdrawal seizures.


it's a nasty way to go even without other inevitable health problems he will have and ignore no matter how long he survives. And I don't feel sorry for him one bit.
 

Immortal Technique

©™
kiwifarms.net
Ralph won't have any booze if he goes to prison.

Will the Gunt survive the slammer?
If he goes to prison, he can still drink, but it will be cut down drastically. They make prison wine in there from the fruit from the cafeteria. Plus, he can get all the drugs he wants too. It's just very expensive and not paying those debts means you get poked or beat.
 

StraightShooter2

kiwifarms.net
I'd say 50 or 60, but given that genetics play a role in it, and some people live until their 80s or 90s despite having unhealthy diets or habits like smoking cigarettes, It's hard to say.

How old was his dad before he died?
 

MeltyTW

kiwifarms.net
ok his voice is completely fucked and it pains him to talk to the point hes groaning grabbing at his throat and cant dolphin anymore, he fucking has the covid virus. congrats ralph you spent so much spite and effort into making sure the retort could never be aborted that you forgot about the "man" behind it.
 

MeltyTW

kiwifarms.net
ethan ralphs voice sounds better at first glance tonight but beyond the intro where he still sounds rough he goes back to the same level of fucked voice and hes grabbing at his chest in pain again
 
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Reactions: Aum

Blancmange

More custard than man.
kiwifarms.net
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