Containment Random Chris Updates - (since April 15 2020, Chris has been role-playing as Sonichu)

Mariposa Electrique

In 2021, Shit will hit the fan 4 Chris
True & Honest Fan
There's nothing he could do that would make it worth it to lose the :tugboat:

Even if he sincerely tried he'd eventually tard out and lose it and if he'd lost the :tugboat: in the meantime, he'd be utterly fucked. He will just continue to collect tard bucks until the day he dies.
Wouldn't it be funny if Tard bux went broke, and the best the government could do is leave Chris laying on a urine soaked mattress on the side of the road.
 

AnOminous

shalom motherfucker
True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
Wouldn't it be funny if Tard bux went broke, and the best the government could do is leave Chris laying on a urine soaked mattress on the side of the road.
I think the only way he loses it is if he really tards out and does something that gets him sent away longer than a year. Even then he'd probably be able to get it back once he was released. Even when they do take it away when you're in prison that's not a punishment. It's just that you are already a ward of the state so why would they pay you more free money on top of that?
 
Chris-chan donated in this livestream of some voice actors roleplaying as Sonic characters while playing The Sims 4:

She probably watches the YouTube channels Tails and Sonic Pals, Gotta Go Fast, Emerald Masters and Charmy Bee (who has no videos for now).
Nobody, not even the actors themselves, were phased by seeing Chris-chan himself (or rather, Sonichu in Chris-chan's body) donate to the superchat, and I can only pray for their innocence.
 
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Tikbalang

Wear your shirt inwards out
He really likes the Pinky character. I wonder why. Maybe the theme song the answer.
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Edit: I forgot to mention that there's this one episode where the next president is named Walsh.
 
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TheShortWaveCerealKiller

The Broner with a Boner
I don't think he comprehends what he is facing when Barb passes away. He will try and stay in the house until the court ordered eviction is in force. Then, he will have to be removed by the Sheriff.
Thats pretty much a given that he doesn't truly get his situation, nor will he. If anything he will just inevitably flip the situation around to being how cruel the world is and how this was all a big conspiracy. People take bets on when Barb dies, my bet is how long itll take Chris to try to profit off of it / use it as a conspiracy to further his own delusions.
It'd be really sad if it wasn't so fascinating
 

Optimus Prime

Resident KF Transformers Expert
Thats pretty much a given that he doesn't truly get his situation, nor will he. If anything he will just inevitably flip the situation around to being how cruel the world is and how this was all a big conspiracy. People take bets on when Barb dies, my bet is how long itll take Chris to try to profit off of it / use it as a conspiracy to further his own delusions.
It'd be really sad if it wasn't so fascinating

To be fair, that would be poetic given how Barb pretty much uses Chris as a fund for goodwill hunting.
 

Mr. 0

god im not good at computer how did this get here
True & Honest Fan
That actually happened? I thought he was just messing with everyone
I'm sure @MasterDisaster enjoyed finding that one out.
Arthur: Okay! Last one, and then straight to Sonichu. It's gonna be perfect. Um, I noticed on the CWCki, it mentions that every once in a while, you get... gifts? And donations? From people, sometimes surprising, sometimes anticipated?
Chris: Yes. Yes.
Arthur: Wh-what kind of things do you get? I mean exactly, I mean I hope you're not getting, like, shoe boxes full of cat poop, or... You know...
Chris: Uhh, no no no, um, so that does not happen, very often... Uh, only once... time, only one time, though, somebody had sent me a Tupperware full of... Horse manure... And we put that- and we put that in the-
Arthur: [stifled laughter, breaking character] I'm sorry, no, you gotta be kiddin'- [in character] no. That's just wrong.
Chris: Yeah. That- th- anyway w- we put that in the trash immediately after we figured that-
Arthur: I would hope so!
 

Chrus Chundlur

Shaved orangutan
Didn't chris claims that he cured his autism with binaural beats? He has been commiting social security fraud this whole time!
Chris has a history of claiming to have been cured of his autism only to use it again as a crutch shortly after to avoid responsibility, gather pity points or because the moron just plain forgot he was supposed to be "cured".

That one was years ago but wasn't the first time.
He really likes the Pinky character. I wonder why. Maybe the theme song the answer.
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Edit: I forgot to mention that there's this one episode where the next president is named Walsh.
Fuck, I hate Chris' dumbass non-jokes (and how he fully expect them to become trends) with the fury of a thousand A-Logs :alog:

"I think so, Brain. But won't Barb get mad if I just put my :briefs: in the laundry pile without taking care of the feces?"
 

horrorfan89

Now I'm Playing With Power!
So is canned Ham and Kraft macaroni and cheese on the menu for tommorows Thanksgiving dinner at casa de chandler again?
 

Chan Fan

Eff around and find out
I think he could stock shelves or be a custodian or something, but anything involving interacting with others would be doomed.
Manager: *looks at empty shelves, sighs* Chris, listen, we hired you to stock shelves, that means all of the shelves in the aisle. You haven't touched the pickles yet!

Chris: *stress sighs* You know how I-I'm famous on the internet, right? Well, there was this man in a pickle suit-
 

Super Colon Blow

Sucks and blows at the same time!
I think he could stock shelves or be a custodian or something, but anything involving interacting with others would be doomed.
ROFL. Ever done custodian work? Even as just an element of another job? Taking out heavy, stinky garbage to the dumpster, sweeping and mopping, scrubbing toilets, unclogging toilets, removing chewing gum from urinals, dealing with used tampons that some ho threw on the floor, degreasing commercial food production machinery, etc. Chris doesn't have the muscles or the balls to do this shit.
 

horrorfan89

Now I'm Playing With Power!
Manager: *looks at empty shelves, sighs* Chris, listen, we hired you to stock shelves, that means all of the shelves in the aisle. You haven't touched the pickles yet!

Chris: *stress sighs* You know how I-I'm famous on the internet, right? Well, there was this man in a pickle suit-
You're talking about Chris as if he's still the same old man child of the 2000s. I'm honestly expecting Chris to one day go running around looking for "jerkops" to zap with his electric hedgehog pokemon powers and expect to be paid for it. Because apparently being the defender of Chris's little City state cwcville was sonichus high paying career.
 

TheOnlyYamchaFan

I caught the monkey
You're talking about Chris as if he's still the same old man child of the 2000s. I'm honestly expecting Chris to one day go running around looking for "jerkops" to zap with his electric hedgehog pokemon powers and expect to be paid for it. Because apparently being the defender of Chris's little City state cwcville was sonichus high paying career.
Heh. I'm imagining two cops who've stopped at at the local starbucks inside Kroger's, just a chance to get warm on a cold winter beat. Then suddenly this overweight stockboy in a MLP dress and blue hair naruto runs up to them, makes finger guns as he screeches kachow and other childish sounds. The cops sit perplexed by what they're seeing. when this tubby manchild in a dress 3 sizes too small for him whines about how he's going to 'punish the jerkops from cwckville grocery!' they stand up to leave and suddenly he goes into the fetal position. The cops and everyone in the store hear the loud, wet sound of this bizzare tranny ripping ass as he shits himself. The cops put their coffee down and resolve to never come to this store again.
 
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