Cultcow Russell Greer / @theofficialinstaofrussellgreer - Swift-Obsessed Sex Pest, Magical Star Buddy, Now On Probation for E-Stalking

Rabbits

wake up. shit. get out of bed.
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The Un-Clit

After the Dimensional Merge, pussy eats YOU!
True & Honest Fan
I want you all to stop and consider that there are quite a lot of female Kiwis round these parts, myself and other regular Russ posters included.

We comment on this thread all the time and keep up to date on Russ’ antics.

In essence, KF is responsible for providing Russ with the most voluntary female attention he’s ever gotten. Ever. He doesn’t even need to awkwardly trap us during our work shifts, or pay for our time at a sleazy brothel! We come here to talk about him of our own volition!

Russ should be more grateful for all the Farms does for him, smdh.

Are you kidding?? there are no women on the internet, except those on Tinder or Snapchat or name your ethot web-application site. Kiwis? why they are ALL men of course, that's why they are so jealous of Russhole's talents and good looks. There are no WOMEN here and you must be a mentally ill troll to suggest such a thing, all women are just waiting for him to show them the better life that only he, Russell Greer can bring to them, you hater!! RRRREEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
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The Un-Clit

After the Dimensional Merge, pussy eats YOU!
True & Honest Fan
Yknow he is gay for pay knows the hooker scene well enough. Guys could Russel become a gay prostitute to make ends meet on the vegas street. (Or be forced into it by a pimp after pissing him off because yknow it is russ we are talking about)

No. He was accused of it once by a single-post account. It was never verified, and the wording use in the supposed 'post' by Russhole was completely different from his usual delivery.

He's a faggot, but not, you know, a FAGGOT.
 
Something just struck me when he was whining about giving away his gas station flowers to someone who was his age range, does grussel ever give flowers to someone he doesn't have a boner for? Like maybe his folks are in the hospital, or his neighbour lost a pet, things like that.

I have a strong hunch the answer is no, not even for his folks

The fact he only gives to someone he finds attractive and available to fuck is God awful.
Yes! But it was only...

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He'd be a 2 or 3 even with a normal personality, but as is, he's a -5 or so.
Back when he was well-groomed and looked normal he would've been a 3, easily. Not ugly ugly, just unfortunate (even without his frozen face). These days though he seems bound and determined to hit the zero mark the more unhinged he gets. He's not there yet, but when he reaches the homeless saga he will be. Factor in his personality and -5 is way too generous, though.
 

Clovis

Kadir-Buxton Method practitioner
Hit by mystery green goo? I've seen enough comics to know he's now going to mutate and get some heinous super powers. Although in Russ terms, being basically competent and functional would pretty much be a superpower level-up.
Wonder what his kryptonite would be?

Eta: of course it cleaned his windshield. You just know he lets his car get as grody as fuck if he won't keep himself or even his phone clean.
 

Flatbill Oligarch

highest and mightiest, hundreds of baes
Back when he was well-groomed and looked normal he would've been a 3, easily. Not ugly ugly, just unfortunate (even without his frozen face). These days though he seems bound and determined to hit the zero mark the more unhinged he gets. He's not there yet, but when he reaches the homeless saga he will be. Factor in his personality and -5 is way too generous, though.
The homeless saga is going to be great. He should move to spokane and room with Lucas and they can go on hooker expeditions together
 

Tonberry

Everyone's (Favorite) Grudge
If he stopped RIGHT NOW and did a 180, his life would still suck because he can't erase his mistakes. But he keeps going.

This is a ticking time bomb at this point.
This is what makes Russell a quintessential lolcow, and my favorite personality trait of his. Every single time something goes wrong in Russ's life, his natural reaction is to double down on his stupidity and escalate things even further. He could've stopped after TS's agent just told him she can't accept music gifts, he could've just stopped after Erika asked him not to message her again, he could've just forgotten about Ariana Grande after his amazing plan to seduce her by paying for a backstage pass didn't work. There's always a point where any normal person would've given up and just moved on with their lives, but that thought never even crosses Russell's mind.

Russell is a cautionary tale of the dangers of letting tropes from 90s feel-good movies rule your life. Sometimes you should absolutely give up on your dreams, especially if one of those dreams is to get a young billionaire celebrity to suck you your penis and make you rich and famous.
 

Fanatical Pragmatist

Watching the world burn
The homeless saga is going to be great. He should move to spokane and room with Lucas and they can go on hooker expeditions together
They would not get along well.

Lucas would never go with Russ to get hookers, as he would rather stalk public parks to creep on teenage girls from a distance.
After 100 attempts, Russ would finally manage to find a hooker to take him on as a client. Whether or not they actually had sex is irrelevant as Russ would tell Lucas that he had hot steaming amazing sex. This would send Lucas into a raging rant about Gen Z zygotes and telomeres and shit, at which point Russ would accuse Lucas of hating disabled people. Lucas would then accuse Russ of being an agephobic republican bigot and proceed to throw shit at Russ.
Russ would press charges against Lucas, while also creeping on any poor paralegal he encounters; meanwhile Lucas would rant into another video under the bridge how the cops are actually on his side #ACAB
 
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