Serious LGBT Discussion -

Matthew216

kiwifarms.net
From what I've seen (as a gay man), every single time lesbians try and carve out a space for themselves- be it a bar, a once a month event, a support group, or an activity/hobby group- it will attract a horde of transbians and the real lesbians will disperse from the space over the following weeks or months. If one of the queer types tries to throw an event together for the lesbians, they'll usually make it "inclusive to everyone who isn't a gay man," and it ends up shitting the bed because the real lesbians know it's code for "some dude in a dress is going to hit on me" and avoid it like the plague.

I don't think lesbians are less driven, because you guys have major yearly events like Dinah Shore in Palm Springs, it's just that the mixed spaces are often futile due to a multitude of factors that lead to lesbians rage-quitting them such as (1) the amount of fag hags that latch on their gay friends and make it seem like every girl there is straight, (2) unicorn hunters, (3) transbians, and (4) the fat dangerhairs that are sadly actual lesbians.
Not surprising, for those that fall under the designation of the Left, feminism and woman have always been a sort of "lesser minority," in the spread of minorities they claim to be supporting this month. Most support the more powerful Leftists give to Feminism and its organizations is usually little more than lip service, meant to bring in their vote.
 

Lioness

SONICHU QUOTE
kiwifarms.net
Please correct/direct me if I'm asking this in the wrong place --

What options are out there for somebody who doesn't want to be gay?

"Conversion/reparative therapy"?
(Is there such a thing as the above w/o the religious element??)

Negative reinforcement a la Pavlov?
On your own there's only so much you can do - and I have serious doubts any psychol/chiatrist in today's climate would even entertain the idea...

What's out there for somebody who just wants to be normal?
This is a very healthy question that people are terrified to answer these days. People might tell you there's nothing wrong with being gay, but you won't hear that there's nothing wrong with wanting to be "normal" either.

I have a dear formerly gay friend who had never been attracted to women until he got catfished by one pretending to be a gay man online. Because he loved her he was able to find her sexually attractive once together in person. Although they broke up, he is now happily married to a wife - he can now find attraction in women. He swears he was never bi.

I struggled with bisexuality and seem to have overcome it by a combination of conscious willpower and esoteric reasoning, but I know whatever I dealt with is nothing compared to the battle of full homosexuality, so I won't get into it.

While I don't recommend conversion therapy, general therapy could be a good idea. I've had a lot of LGBTQ+ friends and acquaintances and any willing to share that deeply admitted they had been sexually abused or in some way exposed to same sex sexuality at a fundamental age. It could be worth exploring where this sexual deviation stemmed from further than "baby you're born that way~" because the chances are, you're not.

Open your psyche to the idea of NOT being gay. Discard it as part of your identity, because it's not. It's not you and it doesn't define you - let your sexuality and sense of self be subject to change. Try to find your next partner based on their personality and your chemistry rather than your physical attraction to them, and see if it can follow naturally.

If you need to talk, you're welcome to PM me.
 

AlexJonesGotMePregnant

I'll get my humanity and my sanity back.
kiwifarms.net
This is a very healthy question that people are terrified to answer these days. People might tell you there's nothing wrong with being gay, but you won't hear that there's nothing wrong with wanting to be "normal" either.

I have a dear formerly gay friend who had never been attracted to women until he got catfished by one pretending to be a gay man online. Because he loved her he was able to find her sexually attractive once together in person. Although they broke up, he is now happily married to a wife - he can now find attraction in women. He swears he was never bi.

I struggled with bisexuality and seem to have overcome it by a combination of conscious willpower and esoteric reasoning, but I know whatever I dealt with is nothing compared to the battle of full homosexuality, so I won't get into it.

While I don't recommend conversion therapy, general therapy could be a good idea. I've had a lot of LGBTQ+ friends and acquaintances and any willing to share that deeply admitted they had been sexually abused or in some way exposed to same sex sexuality at a fundamental age. It could be worth exploring where this sexual deviation stemmed from further than "baby you're born that way~" because the chances are, you're not.

Open your psyche to the idea of NOT being gay. Discard it as part of your identity, because it's not. It's not you and it doesn't define you - let your sexuality and sense of self be subject to change. Try to find your next partner based on their personality and your chemistry rather than your physical attraction to them, and see if it can follow naturally.

If you need to talk, you're welcome to PM me.
Attaching the shape of genitals you want to fuck to your core identity is a terrible idea no matter what you like. You say you overcome your bisexuality but I'm not sure what that means; you use to be aroused by men, but no longer are aroused by men?

I agree that living life as a homosexual comes with problems- social stigma, etc- but the act of simply being attracted to your own gender seems pretty innocuous. Especially if you like both, why bother "overcoming" it? Why not just enjoy the other side of your interests? Not many bi people choose the long-term gay route because it's simply easier and more comfortable to live life as a straight regardless of what you want to fuck; is it overcoming your bisexuality to marry a woman?
 

polonium

By your genders combined, I am Captain Tumblr
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Attaching the shape of genitals you want to fuck to your core identity is a terrible idea no matter what you like. You say you overcome your bisexuality but I'm not sure what that means; you use to be aroused by men, but no longer are aroused by men?
Because "Don't get conversion therapy, get therapy that converts you"
 

Surf and TERF

kiwifarms.net
Hey Lesbos, question
What's your take on bisexual women? Do you give them a chance or is it an immediate turn off? Do you hate bisexual women?
I ask because one of my friends had a terrible experience with lesbian women despite getting along fine, her (friend) date immediately started talking shit to her when she (date) found she (friend) was bisexual
Your friend’s date sounds really immature.

I don’t dismiss bisexuals as an option but I do take a more reserved approach. The way I see it, they’re either gay and still coming to terms with it, or actually bi and just looking for hookups.

I date with the intention of a serious relationship. It makes no sense to me for a bisexual to go the gay route for the long term. If any bi person genuinely believes they might want to stay on the gay team, I can’t help but assume that they haven’t grown up yet.

Life is huge and rarely goes well. Why would you complicate it further?
 
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Amber the Hedgehog

kiwifarms.net
Hey Lesbos, question
What's your take on bisexual women? Do you give them a chance or is it an immediate turn off? Do you hate bisexual women?
I ask because one of my friends had a terrible experience with lesbian women despite getting along fine, her (friend) date immediately started talking shit to her when she (date) found she (friend) was bisexual
I’m a bisexual woman and from my experience most bisexual women, especially young bisexual sexual women, aren’t actually bisexual. There so many reasons pretend to be bi both on purpose and unconsciously.

Gay “bi” women tend be eather confused or deeply in closet, bi often being tip toes in water time because seeing yourself as bi is way less intimidating than full blown lesbianism. I would say these are most part gone away as homosexuality isn’t a big deal anymore but there always going to be few as sexuality can be confusing and there so few lesbians to date compared straight men that being idea of never finding a woman can convince some lesbians to give men a try.

Hetero “bi” girls otherhand depend largely what’s fashionable. If being gay or sexual minority is in then there is plenty of bistraightsuals. Some of these girls are opportunist, they know fully well that what they want is guys and kiss some girls just to look cool or hot. Otherhand there girls that really believe that they are or might be bi, these come in few different flavor.

There are confused girls who think bi would be best sexuality to have. Theoretically you date anyone (in reality it’s more men plus crushes on straight girls because there aren’t that many lesbians) and would be so open minded (nope, just as many turn offs as mono sexuals except some more exclusively towards men and others towards women). These either nice girls who just want to love the world or girls have hard time understanding their feelings. Then puberty hits your body and feelings go trough rabid transformations. It can be hard make difference between admiring someone because you want be like them or be their friend and admiring someone because you want bang them, so bi just puts everything in to nice simple box. This usually just a phase that they grow out pretty fast as their hormones settle down and they get some experience under their belt, by early twenties at latest.

There are abused or insecure women that are scared of dating men, that aren’t able to convince themselves that they are asexuals or lesbians. Bi is like security blanket where you can act out romantic things with less scary women or where idea of dating women is security net to fall if men go wrong. These tend to realize that they are straight if they find a good man, gain confidence or just have enough mind blowing sex.

Then there are lonely girls that just want find friends or relationship desperately. The queer club has always had quite low level of entry, you just need be interested in same sex so it’s fairly easy to convince yourself that you could be bi as you don’t have give up men. Right now tumblr genders and/or sexualities more popular but some still go for bi too. These aren’t the same as opportunists as these girls tend to really believe that they are bi and just haven’t met the right girl yet. Usually the best way figure out witch is witch by looking how they act in highly social situations vs. private. The opportunist tend put on a show where as lonely girls just want be involved or included. These can continue pretending for very long time even though it’s pretty clear to outsiders that they straight. Fastest way for these girls to go straight is if their social environment changes to one where gay isn’t cool, be it because they find faint or fashion moves to something else.
 

Lioness

SONICHU QUOTE
kiwifarms.net
Attaching the shape of genitals you want to fuck to your core identity is a terrible idea no matter what you like. You say you overcome your bisexuality but I'm not sure what that means; you use to be aroused by men, but no longer are aroused by men?

I agree that living life as a homosexual comes with problems- social stigma, etc- but the act of simply being attracted to your own gender seems pretty innocuous. Especially if you like both, why bother "overcoming" it? Why not just enjoy the other side of your interests? Not many bi people choose the long-term gay route because it's simply easier and more comfortable to live life as a straight regardless of what you want to fuck; is it overcoming your bisexuality to marry a woman?
I know it's shocking, but the user called Lioness is biologically female. There are women on the internet. With real vaginas.

I was attracted to women and have dated them and FtMs, but never to a point of sexually engaging with them. I can still fall in love with a woman but I went out of my way not to check them out or think of them that way, and now I just don't. It feels like some kind of glitch in my brain more than a sexual preference, so I chose to train myself out of it and it's helped considerably. I could still crush on a lady, I just wouldn't do anything about it. I'm tired of people treating aberrant sexualities like it's all good and fine and nothing to be bothered about and you shouldn't even try to treat it in any way. I even notice my sexuality can be dictated by hormonal imbalances and certain times of my cycle, lending further to it being an aberration. It's possible that you don't have to live that way if you don't want to.

Trust me, I was all for LGBTQIXYZ rights and freedom when I was young and realizing I had feelings toward women, I was the first to defend one's right to be gay, but the pendulum swung really fucking hard. I now support your rights to make an effort to be less gay if it may improve your quality of life, because sure as shit no one else is.
 
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Surf and TERF

kiwifarms.net
The podcast I linked earlier goes into more depth on conversion therapy, but essentially the reality is that it doesn’t work in the long run. If you’re gay and uncomfortable with it, then this is a serious thing to contend with. However, it is completely possible to come to terms with.

Acting like bisexuality is a life experience that is on par with this, as if it is something to “overcome”, is exceptional. Bisexuals are fine and I don’t hate them, but this kind of attitude is what gets on people’s nerves. If you’re bi and you don’t like it then just... live life as a straight person. Everybody experiences attraction to someone other than their SO from time to time, regardless of their sexuality. Just don’t act on it.
 

AlexJonesGotMePregnant

I'll get my humanity and my sanity back.
kiwifarms.net
Because "Don't get conversion therapy, get therapy that converts you"
"If you think of yourself as not gay, then you won't be gay."

I know it's shocking, but the user called Lioness is biologically female. There are women on the internet. With real vaginas.
Nothing that I said is invalidated or weakened by your gender; try reading it again with the appropriate pronouns instead of powerleveling to try to pwn the fags or whatever. It is a grammatical tradition in english to default to male pronouns, especially online. No one cares about your gender and it is irrelevant to our discussion.

I was attracted to women and have dated them and FtMs, but never to a point of sexually engaging with them. I can still fall in love with a woman but I went out of my way not to check them out or think of them that way, and now I just don't. It feels like some kind of glitch in my brain more than a sexual preference, so I chose to train myself out of it and it's helped considerably. I could still crush on a lady, I just wouldn't do anything about it. I'm tired of people treating aberrant sexualities like it's all good and fine and nothing to be bothered about and you shouldn't even try to treat it in any way. I even notice my sexuality can be dictated by hormonal imbalances and certain times of my cycle, lending further to it being an aberration. It's possible that you don't have to live that way if you don't want to.

Trust me, I was all for LGBTQIXYZ rights and freedom when I was young and realizing I had feelings toward women, I was the first to defend one's right to be gay, but the pendulum swung really fucking hard. I now support your rights to make an effort to be less gay if it may improve your quality of life, because sure as shit no one else is.
I see that you negrated the post but @Amber the Hedgehog describes a type of "bisexual" who is largely doing it for attention; your description of your bisexuality seems to fit that pretty well.
  • "I even notice my sexuality can be dictated by hormonal imbalances and certain times of my cycle"
  • "I was attracted to women and have dated them and FtMs, but never to a point of sexually engaging with them"
  • "I now support your rights to make an effort to be less gay if it may improve your quality of life, because sure as shit no one else is"
  • "Discard it as part of your identity, because it's not. It's not you and it doesn't define you - let your sexuality and sense of self be subject to change"
  • "If you need to talk, you're welcome to PM me"
Are you sure that you were bi and not just an attention seeking faggot who wanted to be special? And after discovering you were too disgusted by vaginas to do anything about it, you get to be even more special by being the """bi""" girl who definitely converted back to straight because you really wanted it, unlike all the lazy and immoral fags who failed to do so in the past? Ya know, despite chemical castration, electroshock therapy, threat of murder, etc etc. They just didn't want it bad enough, unlike you, who has discovered the secret to improving your quality of life is to not fuck your own gender.

Yeah, you're right- life is generally a little easier when you're not a sexual preference minority. Thankfully for you, you never were.
 

K. V. Bones

No idea what I'm doing.
kiwifarms.net
One thing I will never understand is girls obsession with yaoi. Of all things gay related. That still puzzles me.
 

AlexJonesGotMePregnant

I'll get my humanity and my sanity back.
kiwifarms.net
One thing I will never understand is girls obsession with yaoi. Of all things gay related. That still puzzles me.
Many women don't understand men's obsession with lesbian porn, but the markets for both perversions is large so there's definitely something there. I'm not sure what there is to understand about it other than people whacking it, tho.
 

Amber the Hedgehog

kiwifarms.net
One thing I will never understand is girls obsession with yaoi. Of all things gay related. That still puzzles me.
Honestly it’s pretty simple, yaoi is relationship and actual porn but both sides are hot guys. The guys angst like girls who likes who, is problematic to have sex, forbidding love and so fort. It’s compilation of relatable, hot and how girls, especially immature girls wish guys acted. It’s not much more than that.
 
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Senor Cardgage Mortgage

Oh... I should eat a pony.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Alright, thanks for actually answering my question.

For the record, my friend isn't one of those "bi-curious" types, she's actually fucked more women than men, and slightly prefers women; been that way for a while.


and for the record, I just live my life and I don't come out with my sexuality unless I want to.
 
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IceGray

"Dude, where's the bus?"
kiwifarms.net
Do girl Twitterinas who love yurifag logic like "Lesbians aren't sexual, they live fairy tale relationships." ever put any thought in what they're bleating?

Do they think yurifagging is a safe way to slut it up, have read too many girly manga with cliches, or are overcompensating for liking yaoi before?
 

AlexJonesGotMePregnant

I'll get my humanity and my sanity back.
kiwifarms.net
Do girl Twitterinas who love yurifag logic like "Lesbians aren't sexual, they live fairy tale relationships." ever put any thought in what they're bleating?

Do they think yurifagging is a safe way to slut it up, have read too many girly manga with cliches, or are overcompensating for liking yaoi before?
no they're just all autistic
 
Re: some of the earlier posts. Mandatory preface announcing I'm gay, but I certainly don't believe it's genetic (recently GWASs have shown pretty definitively it's not, except to the extent that homosexuals are more likely to be risk taking, "open" in sense of the Big Five, etc ... not that it matters, I'm sure liking pepperoni vs hawaiian pizza doesn't have clear genetic correlates either). And (here I expect no one to agree with me) I do think sexuality is fluid to the extent that I'm pretty sure that carefully managed psychotherapy could potentially turn a homosexual into a preferential heterosexual. AVERSION THERAPY WORKS, especially with apomorphine (disgust), but the sex drive is sufficiently powerful that you may just end up with serious and damaged neurotics unless you first spend some time deliberately cultivating alternative heterosexual interests that that drive can be channelled into. Now that I think of it, the apomorphine, which causes nausea of course, is interesting to me because a friend of mine told me (gay himself, practicing psychiatrist) is that gay men may be caused by a malfunctioning disgust system. That's a very idiosyncratic view, I need hardly say, but if anyone else is interested I can at least explain his reasoning.

Also ...what do you think of a GWAS for homosexuality exclusively focussed on, say, "exclusive bottoms"? I wouldn't be at all surprised if modern liberal culture + oppression points + natural sexual fluidity has created enough noise that we're not seeing what's actually there.
 

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