Star Wars Griefing Thread (THE RISE OF SKYWALKER SPOILERS) - Safety off

Dom Cruise

kiwifarms.net
You know what? After seeing all of this, I want to see what Lucas' original plan was.

I'll give Lucas this much, at least I'm sure he had a plan, or at least half of one.

This sequel trilogy is the ultimate example of Disney getting all these new toys to play with on Christmas Day and getting so excited and crazed to play with them that they broke everything without getting to enjoy having it.
Supposedly the idea would have been going into the origins of the Force and explaining what it actually is.

Okay, so if Leia is training Rey, doesn't that completely invalidate the whole point of The Force Awakens and the search for Luke? They needed Luke to bring the Jedi back...but Leia can train Rey...so why didn't Leia just do it from the start?

Anyways, I just watched Jeremy Jahns' reaction to the trailer where he referenced the infamous "Sabre chucking" incident with Luke in TLJ, and something sparked in my brain where it got me thinking on how to make that whole situation better.

What if instead of chucking the sabre over his head, Luke handed it back to Rey and walked off? What if they expanded on the whole "Wars not make one great" idea by showcasing it visually and how Luke's methods don't involve just him swinging a sabre around.

What if they pulled a page out of the Karate Kid playbook where the master is seemingly doing nothing, but was actually teaching Rey the whole time without her realizing it. One of the biggest "oooh" and "aaaah" moments I remember from my childhood was the scene where Miyagi was like "Show me paint the fence...show me side to side...show me wax the floor" and the audience realizes right with Daniel that he was learning the entire time. And the best part was, they didn't have to explain it. They just showed it and we got it.

Well, what if they did that with Luke, where he gets Rey to do all these seemingly menial tasks and then it turns out she was learning about the Force and other techniques the whole time, and Luke did it as a way to test her worthiness and dedication to wanting to learn how to be a Jedi. And then she finally explodes at him and he demonstrates how much he taught her and how much she learned.
People probably would have complained about it ripping off Karate Kid, but it still would have been a lot better and more satisfying.

It's actually triple the budget. Bruce Campbell confirmed that for Army of Darkness and why it bombed.
The advertising budget for Army of Darkness was triple the budget?

I've no clue, but someone's saying the budget ALONE was 400 mil
I trust them.
I think this is the grand shit to end the decade. A spectacular shit to cap off the 2010's and usher in the 2020's.
Yeah, the 2010s is ending on a very interesting note.

I hope it is and Ian got him a good payday.
 

The handsome tard

Hyperion is working on the cure, it wont be cheap.
kiwifarms.net
1571783738163.png

Part of me wished this was in a way better movie. If it was, that image would have hyped me like a motherfucker but....no.
Nothing.
I feel nothing. Except maybe disgust and perhaps a bit of pleasure its truly going to suck dikks.

Let's slide the knife, Kiwis. Spread the spoilers. We are the autistic illuminati.
Oh NOW we are autistic illuminati? :roll:

Oh ok. By the way, what happened to Luke's green lightsaber? I find it weird that Rey would reassemble Anakin's broken saber instead of looking for the green one.
I think it was said Luke was suppose to originally have or that its still around somewhere but beyond the flashback, it wasnt seen in the sequel trilogy. For all we know, they wont bother with it, leave the disney expanded universe to use that plotpoint for a comic, I dont know.

So, seeing how the spoilers will be real, how will this affect the reception? Will it be like Game of Thrones, suffer a massive backlash? Or will the SJW/Reylo cultists save it from being demolished?
Yes and no, on one side, Im mad but on the other, not as much as I was. With GOT, it kind of happened all at once and then it was over. With this? We had this increasing sense of hatred/dissapointment/disgust/hopeless ever since TLJ (few even had it since TFA), it doesnt help that Disney made sure they CONSTANTLY not only ignored our constructive criticism (Rian out right mocking it), but they dared look at us, the fucking fans, and call us all the "meanie" names from the media: racist, homophobic, woman hater, islamophobic (dont ask why, they just find a way), man-baby and Trump supporter (because in clown world, having a political preference the elites dont like is THAT bad to them).
Freddie Prince Jr, some fucking nobody that used to be some nobody actor that were in some shitty to passable movies (and that voiced another nobody in Rebels), said "ITS FOR KIDS" as if, even if it was, we cant find faults so it can get better...this is the type of shit that has been happening for SO LONG...

That im kind of apathetic now...I do not care for Disney star wars and I much rather see them burn and lose money now since they gave their back to us to do what some dickless on twitter told them to do. Fine, assholes, I wont buy your toys, games, comics, books, whatever. I will pirate your movies at most because you dont get single DIME from me anymore, why would someone want money from a racist? Im sure they wouldnt, hehe...

Sorry, got bit drunk on the dark side in there but I doubt that the reylo fans will change much, IF at all. The backlash will be huge and disney knows it, they are simply preparing for it.

Wouldn't surprise me if it was.

If it was.

Iger, Disney as a whole, seem to make deals out of spite with no real benefits with the pay.
Iger is a fucking hack, whatever you want about Michael Eisner, I take him over that greedy fool anytime of the day, M.E still seemed he cared for the company at the end of the day in comparison to Iger.

Iger only cares about short term profit and yes, almost all CEOs do in a way but they still gotta take the long term consequences in consideration at least A LITTLE but Iger just wants to expand the empire, without quality control of those adquisitions. Now they have Fox and I guarandamntee you that Disney wont know what to do much with their brands (I really cant see any Alien movie working under disney, at least with Fox there was some tiny hope).

Disney is getting TOO big TOO fast, guess no one learned from the roman empire, huh? It doesnt matter to Iger, he will be leaving soon and the next CEO will reap the long term consequences while he gets the short term benefits...and he may or may not want to become a presidential candidate? But only time will tell if thats for real.

Iger cant go any faster, hopefully the next CEO cares...a LITTLE better than him (but im expecting a Iger 2.0).
 

Dom Cruise

kiwifarms.net
Iger is a fucking hack, whatever you want about Michael Eisner, I take him over that greedy fool anytime of the day, M.E still seemed he cared for the company at the end of the day in comparison to Iger.

Iger only cares about short term profit and yes, almost all CEOs do in a way but they still gotta take the long term consequences in consideration at least A LITTLE but Iger just wants to expand the empire, without quality control of those adquisitions. Now they have Fox and I guarandamntee you that Disney wont know what to do much with their brands (I really cant see any Alien movie working under disney, at least with Fox there was some tiny hope).

Disney is getting TOO big TOO fast, guess no one learned from the roman empire, huh? It doesnt matter to Iger, he will be leaving soon and the next CEO will reap the long term consequences while he gets the short term benefits...and he may or may not want to become a presidential candidate? But only time will tell if thats for real.

Iger cant go any faster, hopefully the next CEO cares...a LITTLE better than him (but im expecting a Iger 2.0).
Michael Eisner was totally running Disney into the ground by the end of his run, but there was a time when, though he always made a lot of stupid mistakes, he still cared far more than Iger has ever cared.

Basically the big difference is Michael Eisner understood the "Disney" name meant something specific, that there was a specific vision to the company that he tried to respect, Iger has just been treating it as being no different than any other media conglomerate like a Viacom or a Time Warner or whatever.
 

Alto

To the stars!
kiwifarms.net
Eisner ran risks, often to catastrophic results, but he still dared to try something different. Iger is all business flair, no imagination. He helped bring back the status quo after Eisner was done, but there's no real heart behind any of his decisions. Everything is a contract, buyout, or paycheck for him.
 

The handsome tard

Hyperion is working on the cure, it wont be cheap.
kiwifarms.net
Michael Eisner was totally running Disney into the ground by the end of his run, but there was a time when, though he always made a lot of stupid mistakes, he still cared far more than Iger has ever cared.

Basically the big difference is Michael Eisner understood the "Disney" name meant something specific, that there was a specific vision to the company that he tried to respect, Iger has just been treating it as being no different than any other media conglomerate like a Viacom or a Time Warner or whatever.
Exactly, I do not think Eisner was a great CEO, he had a lot of flaws, BUT, he had considerable more loyalty and integrity to the company that Iger ever did. Eisner was trying to keep profit and vision balanced, Iger is just printing money like crazy, ignoring the fact the printer is starting to overheat like a motherfucker.

Edit:

Eisner ran risks, often to catastrophic results, but he still dared to try something different. Iger is all business flair, no imagination. He helped bring back the status quo after Eisner was done, but there's no real heart behind any of his decisions. Everything is a contract, buyout, or paycheck for him.
I honest to God couldnt imagine Eisner buying Fox, even if they had the money, just out of sheer principal that its brands dont "belong" with Disney (they dont combine with Disney, thats what I mean). Iger doesnt care and just buys just because he can.
 

Dr W

Is there nothing you will die for?
kiwifarms.net
View attachment 981289
Part of me wished this was in a way better movie. If it was, that image would have hyped me like a motherfucker but....no.
Nothing.
I feel nothing. Except maybe disgust and perhaps a bit of pleasure its truly going to suck dikks.



Oh NOW we are autistic illuminati? :roll:



I think it was said Luke was suppose to originally have or that its still around somewhere but beyond the flashback, it wasnt seen in the sequel trilogy. For all we know, they wont bother with it, leave the disney expanded universe to use that plotpoint for a comic, I dont know.



Yes and no, on one side, Im mad but on the other, not as much as I was. With GOT, it kind of happened all at once and then it was over. With this? We had this increasing sense of hatred/dissapointment/disgust/hopeless ever since TLJ (few even had it since TFA), it doesnt help that Disney made sure they CONSTANTLY not only ignored our constructive criticism (Rian out right mocking it), but they dared look at us, the fucking fans, and call us all the "meanie" names from the media: racist, homophobic, woman hater, islamophobic (dont ask why, they just find a way), man-baby and Trump supporter (because in clown world, having a political preference the elites dont like is THAT bad to them).
Freddie Prince Jr, some fucking nobody that used to be some nobody actor that were in some shitty to passable movies (and that voiced another nobody in Rebels), said "ITS FOR KIDS" as if, even if it was, we cant find faults so it can get better...this is the type of shit that has been happening for SO LONG...

That im kind of apathetic now...I do not care for Disney star wars and I much rather see them burn and lose money now since they gave their back to us to do what some dickless on twitter told them to do. Fine, assholes, I wont buy your toys, games, comics, books, whatever. I will pirate your movies at most because you dont get single DIME from me anymore, why would someone want money from a racist? Im sure they wouldnt, hehe...

Sorry, got bit drunk on the dark side in there but I doubt that the reylo fans will change much, IF at all. The backlash will be huge and disney knows it, they are simply preparing for it.



Iger is a fucking hack, whatever you want about Michael Eisner, I take him over that greedy fool anytime of the day, M.E still seemed he cared for the company at the end of the day in comparison to Iger.

Iger only cares about short term profit and yes, almost all CEOs do in a way but they still gotta take the long term consequences in consideration at least A LITTLE but Iger just wants to expand the empire, without quality control of those adquisitions. Now they have Fox and I guarandamntee you that Disney wont know what to do much with their brands (I really cant see any Alien movie working under disney, at least with Fox there was some tiny hope).

Disney is getting TOO big TOO fast, guess no one learned from the roman empire, huh? It doesnt matter to Iger, he will be leaving soon and the next CEO will reap the long term consequences while he gets the short term benefits...and he may or may not want to become a presidential candidate? But only time will tell if thats for real.

Iger cant go any faster, hopefully the next CEO cares...a LITTLE better than him (but im expecting a Iger 2.0).
Let the hate flow through you, and through your rage you may gain apotheosis.
 

Iwasamwillbe

Neos Helios and Jupiter Novus
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I have predictions for the plot of Star Wars Plan 9 From Outer Space:

FIRST ACT

*insert text-scroll recap of Star Wars Episode VIII here*

  1. The Resistance escapes the First Order through and leaves the salt planet Crait on the Millenium Falcon.
  2. Rey teaches new Padawans the ways of the Jedi, herself training and meditating on the usage of the Light Side of the Force.
  3. Princess General Leia Skywalker and her sycophants subordinates prepares for more EBIN SPESS BATULLZ with the First Order via contact with allied systems for supplies and weapons, Poe Dameron the lone one to question her skill and the loyalty of their supposed allies.
  4. FN-2187 (Finn) and Rose Tico (now an official pairing) talk to each other about such things as "true" love and sacrifice.
  5. Poe thinks about the absolute state of the Resistance, wonders if he needs to mutiny again.
  6. Rey thinks about the true nature of the Force: a metaphysical balance that connected everything in the universe together, and of Kylo Ren, and whether he can be changed back.
  7. The First Order, residing in some random planetary base somewhere, take time to heal, acquire supplies and weapons, and strategize to finally crush the Resistance.
  8. Plans to rebuild Starkiller Base, and make it even better (now it can destroy entire star systems in one shot) have been made and are being followed up on, the rebuilt version being named Starkiller Base II.
  9. Supreme Leader Kylo Ren trains and meditates on the Dark Side of the Force, prompting General Hux to give him lip for inaction, for which Kylo Ren smacks him around using Dark Side Force techniques.
  10. Kylo Ren tells Hux to assemble the First Order and all allies thereof (both old and very new) into the greatest army that the galaxy has seen yet, so they can finally eradicate the Resistance.
  11. Hux complies, while Kylo Ren moves to surreptitiously reestablish Force Skype the Force-bond/Force connection between him and Rey, so he can read her thoughts without her noticing or able to read his thoughts in turn.
  12. Kylo Ren thinks about the true nature of the Force: a metaphysical balance that gives order to the entire universe, and of Rey, and whether she can be brought to his side.

SECOND ACT

  1. Starkiller Base II has been built and tested and found to work; by the way, it was tested on a Resistance allied system.
  2. Rey feels a great disturbance in the Force, but Kylo is pleased.
  3. The Resistance and its allies hears reports of a system-wide genocide committed by the First Order, and they CANNOT LET THAT STAND.
  4. The First Order and the Resistance meet again.
  5. Hux spouts off a speech summarizable as "ALLAHU AKBAR! THE RESISTANCE IS RUINED!"
  6. EBIG SPAYS BATTELZ
  7. Kylo fucks with Rey's mind at a most inopportune time (i.e. when she was standing there), using the sneaky Force-bond, Resistance medics get her to the sick bay or equivalent unit.
  8. Kylo wipes out 1/10 of the Resistance fleet using Force storm or an equivalent technique (his training paid off well).
  9. Resistance gets nearly routed, the First Order being objectively superior in every way, and only manages to hastily retreat due to judicious usage of hyperdrive.
  10. Resistance finds out in a base on random planet that the destroyed Resistance allied system was their main supplier.
  11. Even though First Order won, Hux is still asshurt because IT WAS HIS TURN GODDAMNIT, and makes plans to defect to the Resistance.
  12. Resistance lands on base to lick wounds and prepare for final battle, where Rey finally recovers from getting mindfucked. Resistance allies are also found to have made last-ditch Wunderwaffe

THIRD ACT

  1. A lone escape pod lands at the Resistance base; it's Hux.
  2. Hux is made prisoner (and gets kicked by Finn), after which he tells the Resistance the First Order war plans (they were tracked by the way).
  3. The Resistance leaves the planet to make a surprise attack on the First Order.
  4. First Order is found waiting for them, because Kylo read Hux's mind. Oops.
  5. OWLTUMETE SPAESS WOR + STARKILLER BASE VERSUS WUNDERWAFFE (Wunderwaffe wins)
  6. Rey, Poe, Finn, and Rose gets in the main First Order battleship, where Kylo kills Rose with Force choke.
  7. Enraged Finn fights Kylo Ren mano-a-mano, gets stomped out in 5 minutes.
  8. Finn dies in Rey's arms, Poe runs away like a pussy.
  9. Rey becomes Dark Sonic a "Dark Side Force entity" (i.e. a literal demon) because her rage has spiraled out of control. Dark Rey then trashes Kylo with no effort.
  10. Kylo gets mad too, and becomes Dark Kylo. Rey fights him, alternating between being a Light and Dark Side Force entity until she finds balance and enlightenment Oneness, recognizing herself as an avatar or incarnation of the Force itself.
  11. Oneness Rey curbstomps Dark Kylo, wipes out the entire Force Order, saves the whole Resistance, warps reality so that all of the damage that occurred during the war never happened, and basically saves the day.
  12. Oneness Rey forgives Kylo, absolving him of his sin, so that he can live in peace with himself, and they live happily ever after.
The End.
So how accurate was this old post to the current leaks?

And what happened to the Jedi Eater?
 
  • Thunk-Provoking
Reactions: Poe-Shen Zcela

Reverend

Avatar of Change
kiwifarms.net
Read the spoilers, reading through the design board.

Once again Disney is saving me bucketloads of money by making an unwatchable movie for a franchise I now couldn't give two shits about. Please repeat this with Aliens, Predator, Terminator, Indiana Jones, etc. So i never have to goto the theaters again and I can now look for quality entertainment instead of popcorn crunching shit movies.

Downton Abbey>>>>>>>>Star Wars

Change My Mind.
 

SuperSheep

75 Points of Flying Fluffy Damage
kiwifarms.net

Captain Hastings Official

"Good Lord..."
kiwifarms.net
Horses. Charging at guns.



Motherfuckers better have somebody dramatically reciting "Charge of the Light Brigade" in some alien language for the pure stupidity of this.
Half a parsec, half a parsec,
Half a parsec more,
All in the Sequel of Death,
Rode the...maybe twenty?
"Forward, Women of Color!
Charge for the guns!," she said
Into the Sequel of Death
Rode the maybe twenty.

"Forward, Women of Color!"
Was there a woman dismayed?
Not though the actors knew
Someone had blundered.
Theirs not to make reply,
Theirs not to reason why,
Theirs but to shill or die.
Into the Sequel of Death
Rode the maybe twenty.

Fan nerds to the right of them,
Fan nerds further right than them,
Fan nerds further right again,
Their laughter thundered.
Scorned at with meme and leak,
They rode on, full of pique,
Into lame trailer scenes,
Into the opening week
Rode the maybe twenty.

Flashed their lightsabers bare
Flashed as they turned in air
Sabring the Imperials there,
Charging a star fleet while
All the fans wondered.
"What the fuck did JJ smoke?
Is this all a fucking joke?
Kennedy and Iger,
This is going to make you broke!
Disney's going under."
Then they posted more, but not
Not the maybe twenty.

Fan nerds to the right of them,
Fan nerds to the left of them,
Fan nerds in the center, too,
All bayed with laughter.
Scorned at with meme made well,
While whole careers fell,
They that had tried to sell
A new Star Wars sequel,
"All of that shilling - hell!
And the only tickets sold
Were maybe one and twenty."

When can their glory fade?
"This time next Saturday,"
Joked the 4channer.
Laugh at the charge they made!
Laugh at the Star Wars brigade,
The woke maybe-twenty!
 

Reverend

Avatar of Change
kiwifarms.net
From the leaked google doc:

Rey reportedly lies on the ground and begins to concentrate calmly but hard. She reaches out to the Force asking for help and she finally begins to commune with the Jedi of the past. Among the voices that she hears during this time are Obi-Wan, Ahsoka among others, and finally Leia.
Why in this last fucking movie do you introduce someone from the goddamn cartoons that you've never told anyone about and only the hardcore fans will recognize her. Furthermore you have 2/3 weakest jedi's (leia and Ben) with ashoka not completing her training and going off message into doing her own shit. Where the hell is literally ANYONE from Revenge of the Sith on the jedi council that could probably be a match for Palpatine and/or helping ReySue.

Christ even the fan service sucks.
 
Tags
None