Star Wars Griefing Thread (THE RISE OF SKYWALKER SPOILERS) - Safety off

friedshrimp

028372n38934739473247219074
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I like how despite how the wokesters claimed how this movie series was the pinnacle of diversity, you gotta love all the token characters are shoved in the background so the focus relies entirely on white Mary Sue and her Emo School Schooter toyfuck.

ALSO YES DEATH TO STORMPILOT. I can't wait for the SJWs to pile on to Boyega and Isaac like wild dogs. It's what they deserve for pandering to the fujoshits.
 

Notgoodwithusernames

My wife’s boyfriend is my son
kiwifarms.net
Alright, here's a simple easy-to-read greentext of all leaks and spoilers made to be as simple as possible while only focusing on keynotes (made with help from @Dr W).

>Rey and Leia training on Endor
>Kylo Ren meets Palpatine on Byss Exogol by using the mcguffin/wayfinder inside Vader's helmet
>FO hangs out there now
>Resistance is useless on Ajan Kloss (includes Rose, not-Ackbar, Yellow Yoda, Wedge, Nien Nub, Snap and BASED KLAUD)
>Resistance informant Bobliobobobobo is working for Hux
>Bobobo gets killed by assassin
>Everyone reunites for Operation: S.I.T.H. D.A.G.G.E.R
>Go to Not-Tatooine 2 for Burning Man to find old sith assassin called Ochi
>some old dude asks Rey who she is and says she don't know "nobody knows"
>meet Lando who has Ochi's dagger
>Siths now have stupid tradition where they write down all their secrets on their daggers for some damn reason
>"I got a bad feeling about this"
>everyone escapes on Ochi's ship which now serves as nu-Falcon
>Take C-3PO to not-Hoth 2 which is a ice asteroid to meet Crazy Frog the Droid Tinkerer so he can be programmed to read stupid dagger runes
>meet lady Boba Fett who is Poe's ex-gf (WHAT A COINCIDENCE!)
>she takes them to Crazy Frog
>3PO has meaningless fake out death by getting memories erased and now reads dagger words
>magic words make Rey see not-Endor where evil mcguffin/wayfinder is so they go there
>Drax shows up and sells them out to the FO
>they escape and go to not-Endor
>R2 reveals he has a backup of 3PO
>Hux gets killed and is replaced with Wyte Pryde who is his killer
>Stronk blak wahmyn aka Finn's sister with bow shows up and takes them to Death Star ruins on horses who are tard-ified versions of old aliens
>Rey sees evil violent Rey who is a vision when she touches mcguffin
>Kylo Ren magically shows up
>stops vision and talks about Palpy
>then Ren tries to kill Rey
>big battle on water with death star floating and memberberries
>Rey wins
>flashback reveals that Luke didn't want to train Rey cuz she's Palpy's descendant (OMG JJ RETCONNED TLJ! BASED JJ! HE SAVED LUKE AND SW! PRAISE DISNEY! PRAISE JJ! OMGZZZZZZZZZZ!!! [jizzes soy])
>Leia dies
>crew goes back to Ajan Kloss
>everyone cries cuz Leia dead again
>Rey gets Leia's lightsaber
>Lando says "hope"
>everyone's happy again
>Rey uses Wayfinder to show everyone how to get to Exogol in the Unknown Regions to attack FO and Palpy
>Emo Ren is alive and returns to Palpatine
>Palpatine mad
>Palpatine has knights of Ren fight Emo Ren
>big space battle full of memberberries and a bunch of OT and Disney EU ships as they arrive on Exogol
>Rey goes alone
>Rey confronts Palpatine
>senses Emo Ren in trouble
>gives him spare saber
>kill knights of Ren
>both unite to kill Palpy
>Daddy Palpy is mad at Rey cuz she a shit successor and not evil
>so he gonna kill her and Ren and eat their souls to become young again
>bunch of Death Star Destroyers pop out of ground with Sith Troopers
>Resistance gonna take out Pryde's ship which holds guiding beacon for Destroyers to follow outside Unknown Regions
>Resistance led by Finn, Sis and Rose on space horses ride on ships to fight Sith Troopers
>Lando and Chewie lead charge against flagship with help of Snap, Klaud, Wedge and not-Ackbar (and Nien Nub who doesn't deserve this)
>Wedge supposedly dies
>Palpy puts Rey and Ren through harsh challenges and illusions
>Kylo gets killed by Palpy and he eats his energy to make him young and powerful again
>Palpy beats Rey
>Rey summons all jedi ghosts including Ren to kill Palpy
>Rey disables entire empire fleet of donut steel destroyers with Avatar powers
>Finn and gang break into flagship and has all ships shoot each other
>Bad guys dead
>Poe does something ambiguously gay for woke points and secured positive news coverage from CNN and Twitter
>Everyone celebrates
>Rey morns fuckers she hardly knew
>Everyone goes to Tatooine (the place Luke hated) and bury his, Leia and Han's stuff there
>some old dude asks Rey who she is
>"I'm Rey Skywalker"
>Don't go to this movie


Shortest format:
>gang gets a magic dagger mcguffin
>they translate it
>it leads them to mcguffin that leads them to Palpatine
>LEIA DIES
>big member berry space battle with space horses
>KYLO REN DIES
>Rey is Palpy's grandkid
>Rey becomes Avatar the Last Jedi
>Rey kills Palpatine and saves da world
>everyone goes to Tatooine
>Rey is now a Skywalker for some reason
>don't go see this for the love of humanity why would you give them your money for this?
I'm going to see this thing through to the fucking end. It's like visiting a dying relative in their final hours: its a horrible unpleasant exerience but you feel obligated to see it through to the end just to get a sense of closure. This is it... the last dance... the twilight of an era... the beginning of the end... the fall of an empire
 
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Brit Crust

Most Fashionable Bitch In Tremorton
kiwifarms.net
Alright, here's a simple easy-to-read greentext of all leaks and spoilers made to be as simple as possible while only focusing on keynotes (made with help from @Dr W).

>Rey and Leia training on Endor
>Kylo Ren meets Palpatine on Byss Exogol by using the mcguffin/wayfinder inside Vader's helmet
>FO hangs out there now
>Resistance is useless on Ajan Kloss (includes Rose, not-Ackbar, Yellow Yoda, Wedge, Nien Nub, Snap and BASED KLAUD)
>Resistance informant Bobliobobobobo is working for Hux
>Bobobo gets killed by assassin
>Everyone reunites for Operation: S.I.T.H. D.A.G.G.E.R
>Go to Not-Tatooine 2 for Burning Man to find old sith assassin called Ochi
>some old dude asks Rey who she is and says she don't know "nobody knows"
>meet Lando who has Ochi's dagger
>Siths now have stupid tradition where they write down all their secrets on their daggers for some damn reason
>"I got a bad feeling about this"
>everyone escapes on Ochi's ship which now serves as nu-Falcon
>Take C-3PO to not-Hoth 2 which is a ice asteroid to meet Crazy Frog the Droid Tinkerer so he can be programmed to read stupid dagger runes
>meet lady Boba Fett who is Poe's ex-gf (WHAT A COINCIDENCE!)
>she takes them to Crazy Frog
>3PO has meaningless fake out death by getting memories erased and now reads dagger words
>magic words make Rey see not-Endor where evil mcguffin/wayfinder is so they go there
>Drax shows up and sells them out to the FO
>they escape and go to not-Endor
>R2 reveals he has a backup of 3PO
>Hux gets killed and is replaced with Wyte Pryde who is his killer
>Stronk blak wahmyn aka Finn's sister with bow shows up and takes them to Death Star ruins on horses who are tard-ified versions of old aliens
>Rey sees evil violent Rey who is a vision when she touches mcguffin
>Kylo Ren magically shows up
>stops vision and talks about Palpy
>then Ren tries to kill Rey
>big battle on water with death star floating and memberberries
>Rey wins
>flashback reveals that Luke didn't want to train Rey cuz she's Palpy's descendant (OMG JJ RETCONNED TLJ! BASED JJ! HE SAVED LUKE AND SW! PRAISE DISNEY! PRAISE JJ! OMGZZZZZZZZZZ!!! [jizzes soy])
>Leia dies
>crew goes back to Ajan Kloss
>everyone cries cuz Leia dead again
>Rey gets Leia's lightsaber
>Lando says "hope"
>everyone's happy again
>Rey uses Wayfinder to show everyone how to get to Exogol in the Unknown Regions to attack FO and Palpy
>Emo Ren is alive and returns to Palpatine
>Palpatine mad
>Palpatine has knights of Ren fight Emo Ren
>big space battle full of memberberries and a bunch of OT and Disney EU ships as they arrive on Exogol
>Rey goes alone
>Rey confronts Palpatine
>senses Emo Ren in trouble
>gives him spare saber
>kill knights of Ren
>both unite to kill Palpy
>Daddy Palpy is mad at Rey cuz she a shit successor and not evil
>so he gonna kill her and Ren and eat their souls to become young again
>bunch of Death Star Destroyers pop out of ground with Sith Troopers
>Resistance gonna take out Pryde's ship which holds guiding beacon for Destroyers to follow outside Unknown Regions
>Resistance led by Finn, Sis and Rose on space horses ride on ships to fight Sith Troopers
>Lando and Chewie lead charge against flagship with help of Snap, Klaud, Wedge and not-Ackbar (and Nien Nub who doesn't deserve this)
>Wedge supposedly dies
>Palpy puts Rey and Ren through harsh challenges and illusions
>Kylo gets killed by Palpy and he eats his energy to make him young and powerful again
>Palpy beats Rey
>Rey summons all jedi ghosts including Ren to kill Palpy
>Rey disables entire empire fleet of donut steel destroyers with Avatar powers
>Finn and gang break into flagship and has all ships shoot each other
>Bad guys dead
>Poe does something ambiguously gay for woke points and secured positive news coverage from CNN and Twitter
>Everyone celebrates
>Rey morns fuckers she hardly knew
>Everyone goes to Tatooine (the place Luke hated) and bury his, Leia and Han's stuff there
>some old dude asks Rey who she is
>"I'm Rey Skywalker"
>Don't go to this movie


Shortest format:
>gang gets a magic dagger mcguffin
>they translate it
>it leads them to mcguffin that leads them to Palpatine
>LEIA DIES
>big member berry space battle with space horses
>KYLO REN DIES
>Rey is Palpy's grandkid
>Rey becomes Avatar the Last Jedi
>Rey kills Palpatine and saves da world
>everyone goes to Tatooine
>Rey is now a Skywalker for some reason
>don't go see this for the love of humanity why would you give them your money for this?
Jeez.

I'm glad I was never into Star Wars.
 

GeneralFriendliness

General of Dokar's Soy-Slaying Anti-Lego Regiment
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I'm going to see this thing through to the fucking end. It's like visiting a dying relative in their final hours: its a horrible unpleasant exerience but you feel obligated to see it through to the end just to get a sense of closure. This is it... the last dance... the twilight of an era... the beginning of the end... the fall of an empire
That relative died on October 30, 2012, all you'd be doing now is taking your time to watch someone who dug up their corpse just to fuck it. A better sense of closure is just rewatching ROTJ. Disney only created the illusion of no-closure after they had JJ nullify everything the previous heroes achieved. Only good reason to watch this crapfest now (without paying) is for what might be the biggest cinematic dumpster fire of the decade after Goatsebusters and also if you're a masochist.
A_World_Between_Worlds_concept_4.jpg

 
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Manwithn0n0men

kiwifarms.net
I'm going to see this thing through to the fucking end. It's like visiting a dying relative in their final hours: its a horrible unpleasant exerience but you feel obligated to see it through to the end just to get a sense of closure. This is it... the last dance... the twilight of an era... the beginning of the end... the fall of an empire
Its how i felt with Revenge of the Sith
 

The handsome tard

Hyperion is working on the cure, it wont be cheap.
kiwifarms.net

GeneralFriendliness

General of Dokar's Soy-Slaying Anti-Lego Regiment
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
@FROG I am surprised you arent cracking into numerous videos on this

Space horses on a Star Destroy in Space in a Space battle.....what in the actual hell
He was in one of the High Council streams talking about the movie with the other anti-Disney tubers a few hours ago. I posted a link before.

Also here's "George Lucas" reacting to IX's final trailer.
 

The Reaper

Getting sick of this nonsense.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
One of the things I've been thinking about for awhile today was the 3PO scene. He called them all his friends. Does anyone know how many words he spoke to any NuWars characters in TFA or TLJ? I honestly can't remember a single thing he said from TLJ, and I think the only things he did in TFA was chat a little about the star map, and mention that R2 was shut off in the corner.

Did they really think people would be baited by that nostalgia? That's the scene everyone should be furious about. Excluding NuWars novels and comics he hasn't had any interaction with these characters. Look at IV:

He's purchased and fixed up by Luke after Leia has ejected him into space with R2 and the plans.
He talks about the current goings on in the galaxy, and gives Luke the drive to go and get Ben's help.
He might not play the most important role on the Deathstar or on Yavin, but he's with the group nonetheless, and builds a relationship with them.

V he's present at the base and gets onto the Falcon to go to Cloud City. He gets led astray and is dismantled.
Chewie has to lug him around while he's broken.
Isn't this also the movie where Han yells "never tell me the odds" at 3PO? It's just more examples of how much he interacted with the group, and wasn't just a gold statue in the background.

VI he helps with the mission to get Han out, and is present throughout the beginning. The group is only saved from the Ewoks because of 3PO and gold finish.

What I'm trying to say is that 3PO had a reason to call Han, Luke, Leia, and Chewie his friends. He had all sorts of adventures with them. Now they're giving him a role in this movie (rather than in VII when he should've been more than just nostalgia bait), and that role is to just die off and be replaced by an edgelord version of himself? Why? Who thought that was good writing? Why wasn't he given significance to the Nucrew before this movie?
 

Pixy Misa

Your local evil magical girl.
kiwifarms.net
What I'm trying to say is that 3PO had a reason to call Han, Luke, Leia, and Chewie his friends. He had all sorts of adventures with them. Now they're giving him a role in this movie (rather than in VII when he should've been more than just nostalgia bait), and that role is to just die off and be replaced by an edgelord version of himself? Why? Who thought that was good writing? Why wasn't he given significance to the Nucrew before this movie?
This is why it blew my mind when someone pointed out that the events of Force awakens and the Last Jedi happened in the span of 3 days. Maybe, it's a bit off as I suppose you could squeeze some offscreen time while Rey was with Luke.

But, still. It really highlights how much of a Mary Sue Rey is. I mean it would make sense that Luke, Leia Chewbacca, and the others were so fond of her if these movies happened in the span of a year or so or if they had spent all that time since they met together, at least.

At best they should be acquaintances. Yet Leia is Huggin Rey in TFA as if she were family? and they are besties at the end of TLJ? It makes no sense.

Same for Rey's force powers. I can buy her using the Jedi mind trick, moving giant rocks and matching the power of a sith lord apprentice ... in a year or so of training, but not in what was basically a week from her perspective (being extremely generous). Rey doesn't seem so bad until you notice the time span then it sinks in.
 
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Kari Kamiya

"I beat her up, so I gave her a cuck-cup."
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
This is why it blew my mind when someone pointed out that the events of Force awakens and the Last Jedi happened in the span of 3 days. Maybe, it's a bit off as I suppose you could squeeze some offscreen time while Rey was with Luke.
Friendships that were forged in less time in shounen and shoujo manga are more meaningful and powerful than the alliance Rey made with the Skywalkers and co. Hell, I don't think Phantom Menace is any better in how long Qui Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan hung out with Jar Jar before the Gungan started acting like they were buddies, but that is shockingly a better alliance than whatever was between Finn and Rose.
 

Marissa Moira

kiwifarms.net
So the New EU Force Mother bullshit is real I guess.

Rey is the Female Dali Llama and is going to be put in the background as some highly revered Living Deity that other future stories and characters will reference.

It just doesn't work, she's too shit of a character to have any actual status in future stories. This is like when Warcraft decided to replace Thrall and everything went to shit lorewise because people knew the other characters already. You can't have a mysterious revered being if people already know the story and Rey's story isn't interesting.

It's almost like they're hoping people will just forget the movies exist, remember the merch aspect and won't question the lore. Like they're starting from Ground Zero.

Except Ground Zero will always be the OT, that's the center of the franchise.
 

Puddleduck

kiwifarms.net
Allegedly they have a new FX platform that they tested on the Mandalorian which allows them to redo effect shots much faster
That'd be borderline cool tbh, because Lucas pretty much invented what went on to become widely used special effects techniques for both trilogies to put what was in his head onto the screen.
 

Marissa Moira

kiwifarms.net
That'd be borderline cool tbh, because Lucas pretty much invented what went on to become widely used special effects techniques for both trilogies to put what was in his head onto the screen.
In theory the platform would allow model shots again, one of the benefits is that it works with 3d models but it supposedly doesn't save the actual 3d data like an FBX would, so it doesn't operate like an Autodesk program. Which means if you were to take a shot of a physical scale miniature and store the footage their new system would effectively just be an overlay ontop of the film or animation layer so you don't need to run it through another program like Avid or Adobe. You basically pick the special effect, configure the values and can do things like change the trajectory and angle without needing to go through greenscreen footage and can use more finished or finalized footage.

The nightmare scenario that every program strives to avoid is frame matching where you go frame by frame and make sure every frame looks consistent, this still can happen. Each second of a film is around 24-30 frames if it's a 2 minute sequence it's a ton of work.
 

Miller

You're gonna extract HIM?!
kiwifarms.net
One of the things I've been thinking about for awhile today was the 3PO scene. He called them all his friends. Does anyone know how many words he spoke to any NuWars characters in TFA or TLJ? I honestly can't remember a single thing he said from TLJ, and I think the only things he did in TFA was chat a little about the star map, and mention that R2 was shut off in the corner.
It reminds me of the Kirk and Spock relationship in JJ-Trek, it didn't make sense either, it's not a natural progression. They're friends because JJ needs an emotional moment but it can't be justified by "yeah but they were pals in the Original Series" because it's not talking place in the same timeline. Here it's kind of the same thing "yeah but 3P0 was friends with Luke, Han, Leia, Chewie..." except that these people aren't on screen, they're either dead or rewritten into extras in the background so they can't steal too much screentime from Rey (Chewie, R2). Also droids and protocol droids aren't sentient.
 

Emperor Julian

kiwifarms.net
I'm probably going to watch it partly out of morbid curiosity about just much they're going to have to soft retcon Last Jedi but also because Ian McDiarmid as the Emperor is always a delight. Infinatly quotable, endlessly menacing and Deliciously evil. Watching him be a complete prick with the new generation is something I'm genuinly looking forward to.
 
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