Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Landwhale model, Body positive activist, and gigantic fraud

[multiverse]

The "queen platonic family" Tess claimed as of January seems to be over, since Olly has found a new, thin hipster girl to host off of. Olly don't fuck fats.

Olly is growing her hair back in and wearing makeup, but she is still still definitely a dude! Until a camera catches her laughing instead of mean mugging - then she's clearly a pretty young lady.

Olly claims to have moved into a new LA apartment with her new lady love in late April, but as of May 1, she was also claiming to be back in AUS as a caregiver to someone in her evil family.

Oh! And she got dropped by all of her agencies, lol - including Ford. Tess’s gal is now repping her. Bet that goes well.

Spoiler: Backup

 

[Water-T]

OOOOOOHHH! Eating fruit on a blanket outside! MOVE OVER, KARDASHIANS! TESS IS HERE TO SHOW YOU WHAT A REAL GLAMOUROUS LIFE IS!

Bless her enlarged, fat encased heart. She tries so hard.

 

[formerfatcow]

Big Tessy hitting a vape pen (presumably THC) while driving

 

[Water-T]

The "queen platonic family" Tess claimed as of January seems to be over, since Olly has found a new, thin hipster girl to host off of. Olly don't fuck fats.

Olly is growing her hair back in and wearing makeup, but she is still still definitely a dude! Until a camera catches her laughing instead of mean mugging - then she's clearly a pretty young lady.

Olly claims to have moved into a new LA apartment with her new lady love in late April, but as of May 1, she was also claiming to be back in AUS as a caregiver to someone in her evil family.

Oh! And she got dropped by all of her agencies, lol - including Ford. Tess’s gal is now repping her. Bet that goes well.

Spoiler: Backup

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Much like how fatty models like Tess quickly fell out of vogue, the time for "boyish tatted girls" has now expired. Hence Ollie getting dropped and switching to Tess' agency.

As the opportunities get smaller and smaller, watch as Ollie starts getting more and more girly until she drops the whole FEMMEBOIX pretense. Too bad she still has all those crap tats, which also severely limits future propects.

 

[BIG DADDY]

The "queen platonic family" Tess claimed as of January seems to be over, since Olly has found a new, thin hipster girl to host off of. Olly don't fuck fats.

Olly is growing her hair back in and wearing makeup, but she is still still definitely a dude! Until a camera catches her laughing instead of mean mugging - then she's clearly a pretty young lady.

Olly claims to have moved into a new LA apartment with her new lady love in late April, but as of May 1, she was also claiming to be back in AUS as a caregiver to someone in her evil family.

Oh! And she got dropped by all of her agencies, lol - including Ford. Tess’s gal is now repping her. Bet that goes well.

Spoiler: Backup

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My favorite part about the Tess thread is occasionally getting the B plot updates from the dumpster fires that slide in and out of her life. Olly should have learned from Tess that being a fad model for whatever social issue is in right now isn’t going to last and especially with all the tats. Funny also how trannies narrow their dating pool so much they just end up dating other trannies - although I guess the lesbo dating pool is a bit fat for an ana anyway.

 

[Simon]

Hi Tess! Enjoying us talking about your "co-parents"?
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She also reshared this and something about it really wigs me out.

Oh, so fucking glamorous, with your bags of cherries and Starbucks snack sets. Oh and two mandarin oranges.

 

[No Thank You]

Tess is so glamorous she steals extra napkins from the Madonna Inn to take on her trail mix picnics.

 

[Flawmil]

Big Tessy hitting a vape pen (presumably THC) while driving
View attachment 3276003

She obviously posted this high af on the road lol because she has sobered up now and deleted it. She’s so narcissistic and selfish and has a track record of recording herself while driving.

Imagine being a 37 year old mom posting yourself driving while eye fucking yourself and smoking weed. On top of that she thought everyone would be like “omg girlie you are so iconic slayyyyyy qween”. She probably got some comments questioning her dumb behavior because that video did not last long.

 

[Massa's Little Buckie]

That filter working overtime.

 

[Water-T]

Ziplocs bags, boxes of animal crackers, and gummi bears! TRE CHIC! THE HEIGHT OF GLAMOUR!

Please stop trying to flex, Tess. You can't do it physically or fiscally.

 

[Simon]

Ziplocs bags, boxes of animal crackers, and gummi bears! TRE CHIC! THE HEIGHT OF GLAMOUR!

Please stop trying to flex, Tess. You can't do it physically or fiscally.

I didn't even see the animal crackers

 

[Water-T]

Let's see here:

1. Only 1 chin
2. Face isn't fat and round
3. Chest doesn't look like a plumber's crack
4. Skin doesn't look like she uses bacon for pore strips.
Tess abused so many face filters for this photo that her iPhone melted into slag.

So much for Ms. Body Positivity and loving her body as is!

 

[FarmerKhourtney]

That doesn’t even look like her at all, I was really confused for a minute
Does she have Snapchat too?

 

[Miss Misery]

1. Slow down your reps, Tess. You're using momentum to do most of the work and your form is shit besides.

2. I guess she didn't get the SJW memo that went out in the mid-2010s about the term "trans*" being cancelled because they decided it was offensive.

 

[I'm a stupid idiot]

Tess is so glamorous she steals extra napkins from the Madonna Inn to take on her trail mix picnics.
View attachment 3277578

do people seriously eat vegetables like that? make some fuckin potato salad or some summer rolls, why she got all these ingredients un-made like this??

 

[Flawmil]

That doesn’t even look like her at all, I was really confused for a minute
Does she have Snapchat too?

This was from 2016. Should have mentioned that…she has a track record of doing stupid shit like driving on highways and taking selfies

 

[NoReturn]

do people seriously eat vegetables like that? make some fuckin potato salad or some summer rolls, why she got all these ingredients un-made like this??

There's this idea that "Americans hate vegetables" but that's because people don't realize that a lot of people (like Tess) grow up seeing only fried/canned veggies and shit like this. They just throw raw, unseasoned, veggies on the side of a meal and say "Yeah, this is healthy. Eat your vegetables, kids."
People will show up to parties and school events with "vegetable platters" like this:

And no one except the girl with an eating disorder will touch them because it's just wet, room-temperature raw things with maybe hummus, but more often ranch dressing, in the center.
School lunches (and prison food) are no better, because the government counts things like corn and tomato as "legally a vegetable" (that's where the hubbub about "pizza is a vegetable" came from, by the way, the school was making the argument that the tomato sauce counted as the children's daily serving of vegetables.)

So why do I tell you all this?
I tell you all this because I want those who did not grow up in such a culture to understand that Tess is trying to dunk on the haters by including that "veggie platter" in her picnic. She thinks you'll see that and go "Golly gee! I was wrong! She doesn't live off Starbucks and Champagne cakes! She eats healthy! See? I guess weight really isn't determined by what you eat! No one who eats raw broccoli, carrots, and cucumbers could be unhealthy!"

 

[Gramlol]

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There's this idea that "Americans hate vegetables" but that's because people don't realize that a lot of people (like Tess) grow up seeing only fried/canned veggies and shit like this. They just throw raw, unseasoned, veggies on the side of a meal and say "Yeah, this is healthy. Eat your vegetables, kids."
People will show up to parties and school events with "vegetable platters" like this:
View attachment 3280021
And no one except the girl with an eating disorder will touch them because it's just wet, room-temperature raw things with maybe hummus, but more often ranch dressing, in the center.
School lunches (and prison food) are no better, because the government counts things like corn and tomato as "legally a vegetable" (that's where the hubbub about "pizza is a vegetable" came from, by the way, the school was making the argument that the tomato sauce counted as the children's daily serving of vegetables.)
View attachment 3280053
So why do I tell you all this?
I tell you all this because I want those who did not grow up in such a culture to understand that Tess is trying to dunk on the haters by including that "veggie platter" in her picnic. She thinks you'll see that and go "Golly gee! I was wrong! She doesn't live off Starbucks and Champagne cakes! She eats healthy! See? I guess weight really isn't determined by what you eat! No one who eats raw broccoli, carrots, and cucumbers could be unhealthy!"

Thank you, yes!
It's so strange how Americans treat veggies as a punishing add-on. American food culture is really distinct, neurotic, and hyperfocused on maintaining class divisions, compared to other Western nations. It's something Americans may not realize.

Australia and the UK also treats vegetables badly but there seems to be more mixing of old school rich v poor food cultures in Australia and the UK. Vegetables, wholegrains, are a necessary staple you have to learn to cook well with. Everyone eats porridge.

Kind of like how using a washing line (with or without a dryer), over just a dryer for clothes is seen in all social classes in Australia, because it's common sense in most cases.

It's all a hallmark of different cultural histories and values, despite all being Western nations.
Americanism is convenience, abundance, modernity, 'value for money', advertising.
For this post WW2 style American, eating vegetables is humbling, so is instead changed into something that offsets that and reassuring that you're not just eating poor people food, old fashioned food (vegetables), you're using it as an expression of virtue, uncooked so the colours are bright, and you don't even enjoy it anyway.

It's reinforced from childhood that you're above plain old vegetables, you want something better than that.

It's also why cooking from home, walking instead of driving, taking the stairs, etc, will never take off in a big way in America, and health messaging needs to reflect cultural awareness for it to work.

Australia's health messaging includes ads for vegetables and recipe suggestions on tv and radio from the produce council, irreverancy and occasionally swears- make it look normal and appealing, not just something to suffer through as puritan virtue.

And subsidise the bloody cost of US produce, it's crazy. It's worth it yeah but reducing barriers to healthy behaviors is something the US is terrible at- in order to keep the virtue/class signalling on healthy behaviors separating it from 'poor person things'.

It's why there's always some whiny reply from an American whenever there is a conversation about the exorbitant price of US produce, about how ackshully it's very reasonable if you buy frozen, in bulk, its manageable.
Sure, yes, there's a workaround. But that's not the conversation here.
It'ss still made into an exercise of virtue. Lowering the price of fresh produce (via govt subsidies) is a good thing. But it's seen as a challenge to it's class status- you don't want it to be poor people food.

 

[Ol Dirty Fatso]

Thank you, yes!
It's so strange how Americans treat veggies as a punishing add-on. American food culture is really distinct, neurotic, and hyperfocused on maintaining class divisions, compared to other Western nations. It's something Americans may not realize.

Australia and the UK also treats vegetables badly but there seems to be more mixing of old school rich v poor food cultures in Australia and the UK. Vegetables, wholegrains, are a necessary staple you have to learn to cook well with. Everyone eats porridge.

Kind of like how using a washing line (with or without a dryer), over just a dryer for clothes is seen in all social classes in Australia, because it's common sense in most cases.

It's all a hallmark of different cultural histories and values, despite all being Western nations.
Americanism is convenience, abundance, modernity, 'value for money', advertising.
For this post WW2 style American, eating vegetables is humbling, so is instead changed into something that offsets that and reassuring that you're not just eating poor people food, old fashioned food (vegetables), you're using it as an expression of virtue, uncooked so the colours are bright, and you don't even enjoy it anyway.

It's reinforced from childhood that you're above plain old vegetables, you want something better than that.

It's also why cooking from home, walking instead of driving, taking the stairs, etc, will never take off in a big way in America, and health messaging needs to reflect cultural awareness for it to work.

Australia's health messaging includes ads for vegetables and recipe suggestions on tv and radio from the produce council, irreverancy and occasionally swears- make it look normal and appealing, not just something to suffer through as puritan virtue.

And subsidise the bloody cost of US produce, it's crazy. It's worth it yeah but reducing barriers to healthy behaviors is something the US is terrible at- in order to keep the virtue/class signalling on healthy behaviors separating it from 'poor person things'.

It's why there's always some whiny reply from an American whenever there is a conversation about the exorbitant price of US produce, about how ackshully it's very reasonable if you buy frozen, in bulk, its manageable.
Sure, yes, there's a workaround. But that's not the conversation here.
It'ss still made into an exercise of virtue. Lowering the price of fresh produce (via govt subsidies) is a good thing. But it's seen as a challenge to it's class status- you don't want it to be poor people food.

What you're describing is mostly a middle class tendency, not something that describes all of US society. The upper class is super into healthy eating, fancy salads, and diet-larping as a 19th century peasant because adhering to shit like "locavorism" is easy when you don't have job stress and kids who need to eat.

Stereotypical poor people food in the US is shit like low quality hot dogs, instant ramen, kraft singles, wonder bread, and anything from taco bell. Not vegetables in any form, just processed garbage. Nobody looks at the poor and thinks "eww they eat gross vegetables like poor people!!"

The whole walking instead of driving thing is enraging because most of America's current built environment was intentionally designed with driving in mind, not walking. It's a nice thought but walking instead of driving quite often means spending 2 hours walking on typically dangerous and inhospitable roads to go somewhere that's a mile away.

I really wish non-Americans would stop sperging about American society from an outsider's perspective, acting like they know America better than actual Americans do, and then acting all high and mighty about it.

 

[Turtlebees]

do people seriously eat vegetables like that? make some fuckin potato salad or some summer rolls, why she got all these ingredients un-made like this??

There's this idea that "Americans hate vegetables" but that's because people don't realize that a lot of people (like Tess) grow up seeing only fried/canned veggies and shit like this. They just throw raw, unseasoned, veggies on the side of a meal and say "Yeah, this is healthy. Eat your vegetables, kids."
People will show up to parties and school events with "vegetable platters" like this:
View attachment 3280021
And no one except the girl with an eating disorder will touch them because it's just wet, room-temperature raw things with maybe hummus, but more often ranch dressing, in the center.

Veggie trays are a staple everywhere around here. Baby carrots and sliced turnip with a bit of Avacado dip are my go-to snack. I had no idea raw veggie trays were considered weird in other places??!??

I'm having a very hard time believing the average American doesn't understand what veggies and dip are.

Thank you, yes!
It's so strange how Americans treat veggies as a punishing add-on. American food culture is really distinct, neurotic, and hyperfocused on maintaining class divisions, compared to other Western nations. It's something Americans may not realize.

That doesn't describe most Americans I know. yeah, there's always that one person who won't eat 'green stuff' or whatever but that's universal, not American.



Oh, and Tess is still fat no matter what she totes along for a picnic.