four-letter word for a female
True & Honest Fan
- Feb 25, 2021
Thoughtful and accurate. The problem seems to be that every family has to discover it for themselves. Happened with one of my grandparents; my parent is the Maui brother and the only medical professional in that family.A Life Worth Ending
TLDR: NYMag article where the writer basically says 'My mom was one of the most resourceful, intelligent, charismatic people I knew, but after a series of medical interventions, she now needs around the clock care and the only things left in her mind are anger and fear because she doesn't understand anything that's going on around her. We take care of her because we love her and it's the right thing to do and we are wealthy enough to do it, but her existence is torture and it would be better if she was dead. So instead of planning for long-term care insurance, I'm going to plan some kind of exit.'
Roz Chast wrote/drew a book about her own parents' aging, Can't We Talk about Something More Pleasant? which helped grandma-pill my holdout aunt. Even though pictures always help, it's a bit New Yorker-flavored.
Upthread I speculated that more young people having a stint working in nursing homes would help get an understanding of the current American way of death into the public consciousness.
I wonder if a few popular movies on the subject would help, or a background plot arc in a prime time soap. Seems like the few dementia and decline movies tend to focus on the patient, their spouse, and lots of flashbacks. Adult children having to revisit old family dynamics and make goals-of-care decisions would be a great excuse for an ensemble cast to chew the scenery.
This has come up a few times in the munchie thread, so I'll quote myself:No details given by the writer about what that exit will be. But whatever the answer is, I'm interested too. Can people fly to countries that perform assisted suicide just for that purpose? Can you arrange for that ahead of time or do you absolutely have to do that when you're lucid? Legalizing assisted suicide in North America sounds gruesome, but I'd sign up for that. If this became legal, could you sign up for it ahead of time? Because by the time you need it, you're probably too far gone to understand anything that's going on.
That's exactly the current problem:
If you have a diagnosis of early dementia, you're not eligible for medical aid in dying because it's early dementia and not end-stage.
If you wait until you have have late dementia, you're no longer compos mentis, and thus cannot receive medical aid in dying.
This would require a lot of legal debate and lobbying to fix, and the people who are dealing with a quiet personal tragedy are not best-equipped to do it. Any time people talk about MAID, they get irate young spoonies and misinformed religious people rallying against it. Better as a politician just not to touch it; it's not like the soon-to-be-dead are a big voting bloc.