Thorne Melcher / "Horny Thorney" / ExistentialEnso - CTO of a Scam Website, Pretend Journalist, Whiteknight of Rapist Laurelai Bailey, Hates Leftists, Guilt Tripping People After a "Suicide Attempt"

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Yellow Yam Scam

Devil get behind me, I'm loose, I'm free.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
No update since...did Thorne finally get The Big Chop? We'll have to wait and see.
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Edit: Thorne is currently retweeting random sperging so probably not lmao

Update: Whatever.
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Surfin Terf

kiwifarms.net
No update since...did Thorne finally get The Big Chop? We'll have to wait and see.
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Edit: Thorne is currently retweeting random sperging so probably not lmao

Update: Whatever.
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So, he's not getting the surgery. We all know that. The question at this point is whether he will fake getting the surgery or if he'll just keep on crying about how unfair it is that he can't get robots to chop of his yarbles.
 

AnOminous

μολὼν λαβέ
True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
kiwifarms.net
Just a quick update - surgery did not happen last night but will happen "elsewhere today" according to Mandy. Thorne is not enthused.
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He should head it off at the pass and just kill himself. Save himself the agony of imaginary doctors continually canceling the cock chop he totally, really wants, believe him, bro.
 

lindsayfan

What am I but hot blood?
kiwifarms.net
goddamn i love the neverending schroedinger's dickchop. those of you who find it boring need to crowdfund some adderall because to a true connoiseur of fuckups this moebius strip of narc tantrum is as soothing as watching a lava lamp.

speaking of pills, although the bigger picture is obviously a grift i do feel like either one or both of them have to be drug addicts-- surely you couldn't achieve this level of total codependent dysfunction solely from natural causes.
 

Kingfisher9000

L O N E L Y S P A C E V I X E N S
kiwifarms.net
Well then, Horney vs. The Supreme Thunker. Choose your fighter.
Looking at Sam’s twitter I think it’s safe to assume he was being ironic. He makes music and funny videos, seems like kind of a chad tbh. Dude probably planned for that tweet to go viral to get some free exposure. Thorne, however, not only fails to pick up on the joke, but declares his gf makes him cum/think without mentioning whether he is capable of doing either for her in return.
 

Yellow Yam Scam

Devil get behind me, I'm loose, I'm free.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Quiet few days for Thorne but he's back on his bullshit. Before I start posting, I have a question - how do people prefer tweets to be presented - should I thumbnail them or just post them at a readable size?

Thorne pulls a Thorne and suicidebaits.
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But what went so wrong? Let's take a trip 12 hours into the past.Hmm, it appears that that sudden windfall for house hasn't quite come through yet.
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Thorne wants his sudden infusion of 8 thousand - or was it 10 thousand - or was it 18 thousand dollars to show up in his account NOW NOW NOW!
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whining.
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whining.
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HOLD UP - there was another opening for surgery and the doctors/nurses "GHOSTED" him. Huh? Does he not know he could just like...go to the actual building and find them? Why did he have to make contact with them on the day of the surgery anyway? Utterly bizarre. Oh, also he's out of benzos.
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Still no money for the house :(
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Also, Mandy has now deleted all her tweets. Interdasting.

"@kctransdanielle" is an orbiter who consistently appears to cheer up Thorne and Mandy when they complain. Here is how Thorne treats her in response.
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Positron

Wearing the same blue mask since 2004
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Now, even his bullshit story about being fired for not having the cock-chop fails to get any sympathy:
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Isn't he and Mandy through? What does her commission payments have anything to do with him at this point?

The cop who do wellness checks on Thorne treats him like a toddler:
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Thorne wants to find out where a doctor works, because the doctor wants birth certs to reflect a person's biological sex:
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Dude is mad about the word "dude":
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Context matters, dude.

Stupid slapfight because Thorne resents the "they" pronoun. TrueMetis is a frequent orbiter of MovieBob:
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Gavin "Laurel" Hubbard, the weight-lifter troon who represented New Zealand for the Olympics, was disqualified in all three of his lift attempts.
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What Thorne said is factually untrue. Had Gavin Hubbard repeated his feat (Snatch=131 kg; Clean & Jerk =154kg) in the 2019 World Championship, he would have won Silver in women's.
If Throne's life mattered, why does he always threatens to end it?

Thorne used to be a varsity fencer:
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About plague (Yersinia pestis infection)
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Not really. The drug of choice of Yersinia pestis is still Streptomycin, which is toxic and difficult to administer. And the Pneumonic and the Septicemic forms of the disease often progress too quickly to treat. We don't dismiss Anthrax as child's play today, even though there are now a host of safe, non-toxic antibiotics to treat the disease.

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There are at least two reason why polio is under control, neither is applicable to covid.
1. The disease has no known animal reservoirs, unlike covid.
2. The old polio vaccine (Sabin) is an oral, attenuated virus, which replicate in the gut of the vaccine recipients and pass into the environment in their stools. Imagine the hygiene situation of the third world country: the rivers and wells would be laden with stool particles and hence vaccines. You can't really be an antivaxer.

Finally, brief comments about Chris-Chan:
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Rorschach Test

Look at me. I am the ink blob now
kiwifarms.net
This thread is a good reminder to practice the mindfulness stuff associated with zen buddhism, especially when it comes to handling adversity that is out of your control.* thorne could find it quite useful if they didn’t simply identify with the practice for pathetic weeb reasons.

* (not a statement that’s applicable here, lol)
 

Yellow Yam Scam

Devil get behind me, I'm loose, I'm free.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Thorne posted a bunch of the same leftist yipyap that I don't care to cap. Then he suicidebaited. The usual.

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Mandy purged her follower list so I can no longer see her tweets. Judging from her @ responses she is not tweeting much though. Interdasting.

A piece of information that I discovered recently is that it was Thorne who got Mandy her job at CrowdMed. I originally assumed that they met while working there but further digging shows that they first met on OKCupid. Taking this into account, I'd like to present a few possible theories about Thorne and Mandy's situation.

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Theory #1: Mandy is fake.
This was my initial thought but it is extremely unlikely. Mandy Musselwhite is an actual person who attended Georgia Tech (https://www.coroflot.com/vivianleecm/LMC-2720-Poster-Project / https://archive.md/wip/ZUcx9). It does not appear that she graduated. She has an online presence going back to 2010. She attended Stockbridge High School. The person that Thorne took a photograph with looks very much like the high school version of Mandy, just predictably fatter. As comical as her existence is, I do think she is real.

Theory #2: Thorne the abusive spouse.
This is the most obvious and most likely possibility. Mandy has no job, no source of income and lives on a somewhat isolated farm with a man who has physically attacked her and appears to emotionally abuse her on social media. Her partner constantly suicide baits so she is at the very least being emotionally abused. She currently has effectively no online presence and does not express any opinions that differ from Thorne's. Her ability to continue living there seems to be conditional upon Thorne allowing it - though Thorne frequently says that he "bought" the house "with" his partner. Of course, as made clear by their likely ongoing back payment saga, they have not actually bought a house at all, so who knows if Mandy can legally stay if Thorne wants her gone. Her only employment history outside of working at a Kroger during college is a cushy "digital media" job that Thorne got for her. I think she is effectively stuck in a position where she has to manage Thorne's madness in order to have a place to live.

An argument against this is that Mandy's parents appear to be in the picture so, assuming that we're being told the truth about them, she's certainly not actually trapped and isolated.

Theory #3: Mandy the manipulatrix.
I think this is less likely but I'm open to the possibility. Thorne is obviously mentally ill, desperate and potentially easily manipulated. Perhaps Mandy's interest in Thorne was always financial. What if she used him to get a job, then a place to live and is now living off of Thorne's ebegging and unemployment payments. This theory intrigues me because it explains why Mandy claims to be constantly scheduling surgeries, sometimes against Thorne's will. Mandy would in effect be dragging out the process which apparently requires her (And her mother?) to be around. It also explains why any human being would put up with Thorne's bullshit for any period of time. The strongest argument against this theory is that Thorne would have to truly be dumb as shit to believe that Mandy is actually scheduling these surgeries without doing any of the research on his own.

The truth is most likely some combination of 2 and 3. Perhaps Thorne is the abusive spouse that he seems to be and the surgeries, supposedly being scheduled by Mandy are a way for her to mitigate his abuse by giving him something to look forward to. Maybe Thorne is pretending to not to know the that surgery scheduling makes no sense because he knows Mandy is his only shot for a boyfriend-free girl. There's lots of possibilities, the only thing I know for sure is that none of them quite make any sense.

it all really makes ya think :thinking:
 
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Yellow Yam Scam

Devil get behind me, I'm loose, I'm free.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Honey! It's time for your 2 PM robotic penis surgery to get cancelled!
(Thorne posted this then retweeted it himself because I guess the first one didn't get enough engagement.)
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It's ogre.
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It's the worst day ever.
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All of these dramatic posts were made in between bouts of his usual political posts and talking about his favorite types of bread.
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Additionally, Thorne has deactivated or deleted the @smolfarms twitter account.
 
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