Virgie Tovar - #losehatenotweight HAES, BoPo Snake Oil Salesman. Fat AF.

Fliddaroonie

I'm a spooky ghost! Whooooo!!! Ectoplasm!!!!
kiwifarms.net
Can NPD be hereditary? If so, I believe her mom had it, lol.
Sort of. A true narcissist parent will really meas you up hard. And those early years are so important, the damage wrought in them can fuck up your whole life.

Edited to say, cos that was fairly cut and dried: people who have been raised by narc parents have issues their whole lives, which can really mess them up. And part of the problem is, that if there's no physical abuse involved, it makes it harder to come to terms with. Your parents beat you? That's clearly defined as abuse, there's a definite medical and legal pathway to managing that and coming to terms with it.

Narcissism is very hard to actually pin down, plus narc parents are often very respectable on the face of all of it. They present themselves almost as pillars of the community, and while my experiences are by no means anything other than anecdotal (I'm not gonna PL or go into it more than I have to as no1currr) but the cases I know of (again, personally and anecdotally, so maybe others will have experiences which contradict these) the abuse was missed or worse, overlooked when the victims were children. Which is the worst possible outcome for that.

If Virgie was abused as a child like that and had a narcissist in her life, I actually kind of feel for her. Even with therapy, victims are often broken in a way that is not easily overcome or fixed. It does not, however, excuse her acting as a crab in a bucket towards others and being so goddamn, ever hecking spiteful to or about anyone who doesn't share her batshit insane beliefs about HAES.
 
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flight of ideas

I Live My Life A Quarter Mile At A Time
kiwifarms.net
Can NPD be hereditary?

Psych-kiwi here to say: yes and no. NPD and all the Cluster Bs are a disaster for anybody stuck in an immediate family system (i.e., spouse, child) with them. For children of NPD parents, the parent’s behavior has long-lasting and deleterious effects that can take a number of forms but there is no escaping the influence of the disorder on development.

f Virgie was abused as a child like that and had a narcissist in her life, I actually kind of feel for her. Even with therapy, victims are often broken in a way that is not easily overcome or fixed. It does not, however, excuse her acting as a crab in a bucket towards others and being so goddamn, ever hecking spiteful to or about anyone who doesn't share her batshit insane beliefs about HAES.

@Fliddaroonie has said it elegantly already so I won’t repeat it in full, but suffice to say that it’s best for adult children of NPD (and BPD, and HPD; ASPD individuals don’t often have children) parents to seek therapy to address problems from childhood AND to remain vigilant about developing similar traits.

There is absolutely no excuse for an adult, shit childhood or no, to act like a fucking asshole. That’s how this disordered behavior continues to propagate itself.
 

2020chan

UWU Psycho Princess
kiwifarms.net
Her mom took her to a meth house for hours?
From knowing people who have grown up with a junkie parent, this sounds exactly like the bullshit their parents did to them.
Like "ok little Vergie. Go play with the other poor soul born to one of my junkie friends/dealer. You'll be fine, it'll just be for a few hours. Don't bother us during grown-up time"

As much as that sucks and I do feel bad for little Vergie, she still doesn't have to be an enabler for bad and unhealthy habits.
Didn't Amberlyn and Hungry Fat Chick have drug addicted parents as well? They carry on the addiction behavior but choose a different drug. In this case food.
 

DefCon Dumb

Confronter of Cryptoid Cuntiness
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
The "ugliness" we see in nature though is purposeful & that's what she is no doubt willfully ignoring. Plants in harsh climates use spikes to keep predators away. Wrinkled surfaces, especially those covered in tiny 'hairs' help absorb & hold more water. Rough exteriors also protect.

It's natural to gain a bit as we age - our metabolism slows down & the many forms of "urgencies" we feel as younger folk dial back considerably & if we're not mindful of that when we choose our foods, unwanted weight can quickly pile on. A few extra pounds isn't a bad thing - ask anyone how easily pounds drop off when you're seriously ill & the older you get, the more like you are statistically speaking, to get sick.
 

Wook Nazi

1488 blaze
kiwifarms.net
Virgie pisses me off a little more than other FAs because her sense of accomplishment from only advocating for Fat WOC. She’s proud that it’s her only focus and I can’t help but wonder how she thinks she’s actually resisting the status quo? She knows there are less popular, less photogenic issues that people protest right? She talked about finding her voice when she wrote her dumb ass book, but Fat acceptance seems like it was just another trendy easy thing that appealed to her. Im going to say that the environment and children are the most marginalized groups you can advocate for, but if any of the trendy little insta stores she shills advocated for children or the environment they would look like hypocrites. Some dumb ass movements are so much more photogenic to support I guess. I think she’d be a lot more involved in actual activism if her story was true.
 

ClownBrew

Drink the brew!
kiwifarms.net
How she is as an adult is really massively because of her childhood.

She was obscenely fat. Overcoming that level of damage and so severe a bad relationship with food is so hard.

Parents who let their kids be like that are vermin

Call me Archie Bunker shaking his fist at the sky and so forth but I have to disagree here.

Everybody has some wallowing self-enabling bullshit excuse these days for every horrorcow thing they do with their adulthoods.

I was abyooozed!!! TrAUmA!!! Now I habs a brain dizeez disabiliteee! Self-medicayshun!

How tf did this entire society turn into such a bunch of fragile permanent five-year-olds when our elders went through war and hunger and polio and still turned out happy and sane?
 

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