Which lolcow would you unironically sex? -

Pargon

Hitler died, my mother also died
True & Honest Fan
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Felicia Day is just so pretty and that smile, ughhhh. She is just sooooooooooooooooooo beautiful. Yeah, I would unironically have CONSENSUAL intercourse with Felicia Day even if her personality makes me want to slit my wrists.
No rule saying you have to hang out for the afterglow or make them breakfast after.

Or that you couldn't immediately roll over and smother them with a pillow.
 

Syaoran Li

Goth Mom Resurrection
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
This is an obvious honeypot bait thread, but I'll go for it anyway.

If I had to have sex with a lolcow, I'd honestly choose Pixyteri, provided she takes a shower first and I've got protection.

Yes, we all know the meme of "Pixy is fat and I would not have sex with her" but Pixy did lose weight and she is one of the most benign lolcows in terms of personality.

Even when she was fat, Pixy was not super-obese like Amberlynn, Momo, or the Slatons. Aside from her chin and her cosplays, she looked relatively normal despite her weight.

A good rule of thumb is "Don't stick your dick in the crazy" and Pixy is the least crazy of the female lolcows
 

Rice Is Ready

Mmmm, red velvet
kiwifarms.net
I mean James Charles isn't a bad choice, though I'd get an STD or something along those lines
Patrician choice. He be good in a road warrior apocalypse scenario when you need a bitch boy rape slave.
 

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Kenya Jones

Hard-R Gamer
kiwifarms.net
Patrician choice. He be good in a road warrior apocalypse scenario when you need a bitch boy rape slave.
I mean the worst part about him other than his personality is the make-up. I bet nobody would have cared about him if he didn't wear the fucking make-up. But yeah he'd make a great road warrior sex slave
 

Double Dee

Yap, yap. Blah, blah. Drivel, drivel, drivel.
kiwifarms.net
Copout: Null. Honestly though, from what pics I've seen of him, our Erverlord's eyes are a nice shade of blue.

Not so much: MrRepzion or (if there was no cameras) Mumkey. The former hate-fellates Onision a bit too much, though, so Mumkey first.

Honorary mention: the gal behind Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls- I don't like the depressed thing Jessica clings to, but she otherwise seems mellow and is alright-looking as far as I'm concerned.

Edit: words, might've earned some Islamic.
 
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