You're the top adviser to the villain of the last video game you played, book you read, or movie/TV show you watched. How do you help him win? -

Pissmaster General

True & Honest Fan
Defense Grid: You know, you have a whole lot of troops, maybe don't send them down a very particular set path and just have to tank tons and tons of towers firing machine guns and immolating the crap out of everyone to take the orbs? Just, like, send some aircraft through in erratic patterns, swoop in, get the orbs as soon as possible. The commander really can't do anything about it, all he can do is slowly place buildings in very particular spots.
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Distant Stare

Better to Rein in Kiwifarms than Serve on 4Chan
Dont invade Russia
The Americans are building a nuke in New Mexico
Spray Stalingrad with V series nerve agents

Dont use U-Boats on American ships
Dont telegram Mexico about invading the US
Take Paris when you can
Save the chlorine for when you want to break through


Where's Luxury Condo? Where's Sports Car?
You're gonna die because some guy who after you protected your hotel from his Hacks wanted revenge for his Dead Daughter is gonna hack your Heart and Cause you to have a Heart attack.


Ki ki ki ma ma ma

Don't make the deal to spare their lives if they bring all the soul contracts and just take their souls from the start.


True & Honest Fan
Edward VIII

Oh my God it's a warm wet hole with hair aound it, you can get one anywhere. If you do this they're going to make you live in France and Hitler is NOT going to get you the throne back. Find one to marry for show and keep Wallis in Scotland or something. And find some decent clothes; all that plaid is atrocious.


I've been re-watching dragon ball as of recently and I've noticed a trend. Most if not all of the villians generally end up losing because of one big mistake: toying with their opponents. Raditz did this when he faced Piccolo and Goku. Raditz was much stronger than both of them at the time, if he had just killed them instead of fucking around long enough for them to get the upper hand on him, he would have won. King Piccolo and his minion Tambourine made the same mistake when they fought Goku and won for the first time. If they were smart they would do it like Vegeta, who always makes sure he finishes off his enemies.

The same is true with Frieza. He insisted on toying with his opponents, gradually increasing his power and of course, by killing Krillin, Goku was able to transform, leaving Frieza hopelessly outclassed, even at his full power. If he had any sense he would have killed all of them from the start, making sure to finish them off. It is their own sadism that led to their downfall, every time. My advice to them would be if you really want to win, and STAY on top, you crush all the resistance right from the start immediately, spare no-one, show no mercy and make sure they're dead.

Oskar Dirlewanger

SS-Oberführer of 36th Waffen Grenadier Division
Don't try to let grandpa kill the girl, he's too old and can't even hold the hammer. Let someone else kill the dumb bitch so she doesn't get a chance to run away.

The Final Troondown

Marine Trained Doubleposter
I mean Umbrella could do literally anything except what they did do. Don't place bioweapon labs near municipal waterways, don't try and assassinate founding members for no good reason. Stop putting mentally unstable people in charge of multibillion dollar black market weapons development
infact just sell opiates instead of BOWs
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Dragon Warrior 1 on the Game Boy

Dragon Quest Builders basically did whatever I would advise but I'd also advocate a monster/human intermarriage program. Also I'd encourage more humans to use magic to change their gender into eunuchs, so they wouldn't be able to breed with each other. I'd also encourage humans to have more appreciation for the monstrous arts, like painting with period blood and "spirit cooking".

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